The (former) boyfriend chases you down and insists on taking you clubbing

...you hear some footsteps behind you. Dammit, did she notice you'd taken her clothes. You increase your pace.

"Hey," the boyfriend suddenly catches up and walks aside you. "I didn't get your name back there."

You stay silent, you can't think of a good reply.

"Look, I don't want to get in your way, but it seems like you're up for a fun night tonight and I was wondering if I could go with you!"

You stop in surprise. You feel a bit self conscious as you face him, still tasting the lipstick and almost even seeing the mascara on your eyelashes, but the look he gives you is one you haven't received before. Enthusastic, enamoured, hanging on your very next word.

You glance back at the way you came, worried that the one you'd stolen these clothes (and makeup) would follow.

"Oh her?" he asks, only semi-misinterpreting your glance. "Oh... well, she and I... we're kinda on a break right now."

You look back at him with a disbelieving "that's really your story?" expression.

"Okay, um, so... can we walk while we talk about this?" You decide that moving away from the (ex?) girlfriend is in both your interests, and you both start pacing down the street.

"You see, um... look... it's over... she might think... look, you saw us in there, there's no passion, no care. It's a struggle to be with her."

Ugh, relationship drama, just what you didn't need. You don't mask your expression over it, but since you're both walking forward you don't expect him to be paying attention to it. Why was he so caught up about it? Either stay with her or break up, agonising over this middle ground doesn't help...

"Actually you know what? We're breaking up. I'm breaking up with her, right now!"

In surprise you look over to him. Sure enough he takes out his phone and starts hammering away at the virtual keyboard. He seems to struggle, type, delete, explain, delete, finally he gets something he's satisfied with and shows the phone to you, you stop walking to see it.

The tail end of the conversation log with "Marcy" has some messages, "I still don't understand." - "That's the problem, you should!" - "Well just tell me what it is." - "I'm sick of texting. Talk to me if you want to know, or care." Under that is his unsent text "I'm breaking up with you. It's not working out."

For a second you wonder what it would be like to receive such a message. Probably would hurt, but probably better than some cheesy justifications or attempts to imply it wasn't a bad thing or the weak "we can still be friends". The "ripping off the bandage" approach does have some merit you consider as you nod. Still, you weren't sure he'd actually...

He reaches his thumb over and taps the send icon "And... send!". It shows up on the conversation log, no "undo" or "delete" seems supported, just a regular text message.

You look up at him in surprise, and slight guilt: Had you caused this? This woman who you'd literally only passed by in a washing room!

"Look, I know its bad to break up in text... but you saw what happens when we talk. It always becomes about something else." He puts away the phone, "Look, lets just go somewhere. It doesn't have to be like a date or anything, just try to have some fun. If you bump into some guy, go with him; if you meet up with friends, I'll just slink away. You probably have a boyfriend anyway."

You shake your head, then realise you might be giving the wrong idea, then shake it harder to imply you're not keen on the whole proposition. You weren't planning to go anywhere tonight. You've got a pink shirt, miniskirt, styled hair and makeup, but weren't planning to show it all to anybody, in fact, you were planning to show it to as few people as possible.

He seems to sense he's losing grip on this conversation, "Look, La Shay is just around the corner, why don't we head there and I buy you a drink? No more relationship talk"

You sigh, and just turn and walk on. He seems to follow you, but then increases his pace so he's now beside you. You don't know what his deal is but figure you'll let him do this at least a little distance. Maybe he's still dealing with the breakup.... damn, the breakup. The guilt hits you again. You were walking her clothes and makeup, all stolen, and now seem to have made her boyfriend break up with her! What could she be going through? You look over towards the (ex) boyfriend, and see he's looking at a text he just got, probably her reaction. You hoped he'd reply with something that would make her feel better but probably nothing would. Damn, how did you get into this situation?