That was a lot.

Bill's eyes opened before he realized he was awake. He had a brief moment of vertigo and complete disorientation, then his eyes focused on his slowly turning ceiling fan. He looked up and saw Amber and in a flash he remembered.

"Holy God, Amber, that was..." Bill let out a wet, hacking cough and felt a sharp pain in his overexerted abs. Amber smiled pleasantly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it!" She was still nude but no longer an angel. Just good old Amber, the neighbor he'd known for several years before she broke his world in half with her revelations. "I hope it wasn't too much."

"No, you don't," he replied. He had a much better grasp on what she was now; his experience was not human. "You don't hope anything. You're... you're a thing."

"You're starting to get it now," she told him encouragingly. "I'm acting like a helpful servant because that's what you instructed me to do. I stopped being an angel because you told me to."

"I did?" he asked with confusion.

"You don't remember," she said. "That's natural. Your mind rejected the majority of the experience. It drove you mad, Bill. You were clinically insane with joy, love, and peace. That's what having sex with the popular conception of an angel will do."

"Then why did you suggest it?" he asked. "Why would you do something you knew would drive me insane?"

"You wanted a unique experience, so I gave you one," she said cheerfully. "You were driven insane, but you're no longer insane. Do you regret it?"

Bill thought for a second. "No. I, uh, I liked it. It was a lot, though. How did you do that?"

She put a hand on his face and began to massage. It felt wonderful. "There is no me. The Amber-shaped thing became an angel-shaped thing. It was a combination of a non-sentient power and your intention, just like a windmill is a combination of natural wind power and a human's effort to harness and direct it."

"Still, I've never felt anything like that. I didn't even know I could feel like that. Can you just do that anytime?"

"Of course," she said without a trace of impatience. "Would you like me to?"

"No, no, not right now," he said hastily. "But I wonder... could you, uh, give me some of that power? Like, transfer it to me or give me a lock of your hair or something?"

"Good idea!" Amber said brightly. Her enthusiasm seemed so genuine that Bill had to remind himself that she wasn't real. "I'll need to turn back into an angel for a moment. Can you handle that?"

Bill nodded and once again the room filled with light. When it subsided he was once again in the presence of that absurdly beautiful thing that had driven him insane. Even knowing what was coming, he couldn't brace for the impact of her presence. He felt dizzy again and realized that he was holding his breath.

The Amber angel moved one hand to her impossibly flawless face. A small droplet had welled up in the corner of her right eye and she scooped it up with a fingernail.

Are you ready?

He nodded, not at all sure that he was. She held the finger out and touched the center of his forehead. There was an incredible burning sensation and he screamed in ecstasy. It felt like something was boring into him, through his head and his skull and his brain and into his soul, lancing the sick boil of misery that had grown so fat and inflamed since the **** of his wife. A part of him that had never seen the light of day was suddenly disgorged and shriveled in the divine illumination.

I resent her. I resent Maura for leaving me here to live out the rest of my miserable, shitty life without her.

It came to him in an instant and he wept. It was undeniable now; he had been incredibly angry at his dead wife for leaving him. That feeling burned away, along with the feelings of guilt and shame of being so selfish. He exhaled and visualized a great plume of smoke leaving his mouth as the rotten core of his misery and loneliness was burned out of him from the inside. The thing that was touching him smiled and it hit just as hard as the first time, the sense of love and belonging and-

And before he could finish the thought, he was sitting in his bedroom with what appeared to be his neighbor Amber again. He blinked, lost for speech. She was still smiling, but without the weight of divine empathy it was just a smile. After a minute passed in silence, Amber replied to his unspoken statement.

"You're welcome."