Testing the App

Greg went home and opened his to-do app.

What were the limitations? When he wrote 'Feel up Zinnia' it didn't care how that happened, and it got him in trouble. When he wrote 'Have Zinnia flash me' she just did it.

11. Get a nude from Dani.

Huh, the numbers were back. Weird. And they picked up where they should have been - the previous tasks all had the correct numbers now too. That he could chalk up to an algorithm - that's math. Counting was math, just sometimes with vampire puppets. This made sense.

He nodded. Getting a nude from the cute HR babe, that would be his first test.

12. Get ric-

He stopped himself. This wasn't a monkey's paw, but it was close, and he remembered that story. "Get rich" would get some relative killed. He deleted the option, it wasn't worth it.

12. Get a huge di-

Nope, he was sure this one would result in a dildo flying through his window.

12. Get fit.

The line deleted itself.

— ERROR - NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY —

Okay, so there was a limit built in. That was good.

12. Get rich without anyone getting hurt or killed.

— ERROR - IMPOSSIBLE TODAY. TRY AGAIN LATER —

Okay, he was getting somewhere.

12. Get a blowjob from a hot babe who isn't in a relationship or mentally unstable.

— ERROR - IMPOSSIBLE TODAY. TRY AGAIN LATER —

Damn, it was worth a shot.

There was no error to the nude from Dani. So he had that to look forward to.

12. Get a free pizza.

No error. Not bad.

Okay, so it could account for things, Greg, reasoned. He went into the preferences.

There was a slider for "****" and "Safety." Currently "****" was turned off and "Safety" was turned on. He tried to turn on ****, and it turned yellow.

— WARNING - Full **** Mode locked while Safe Mode is on. Turn off Safe Mode? —

Greg considered it and clicked no.

— **** SAFE MODE ENGAGED —

Fuck, that was annoying. He went back to the list.

13. Get a full user's guide for Paimon update of app.

His phone immediately dinged three times, and tasks 11, 12 and 13 were crossed out.

— USER GUIDE DOWNLOADED IN PREFERENCES —

Okay, that was easy enough.

The second ding was a food order app giving him a coupon for a free pizza, good all week. Not how he expected it, but he'd take it.

The last was the real proof to him.

There she was, in a text message, the HR rep at his work, with her hair down, posing in the mirror like so many e-thots he had seen on those leaked nude sites. Underneath were multiple messages.

[Can't wait for our date tomorrow!]

[Oh fuck!]

[Greg please please please delete this I meant to send this to the guy I'm dating!]

Greg considered. He downloaded the picture - it was sent via text, she wouldn't know. He then deleted the message with the picture.

— [Done. Enjoy your date]

[OMG Im so embarrassedd! Thank you!!!]

Greg opened the to-do list app.

14. See Dani's tits in person.

— ERROR - IMPOSSIBLE TODAY. TRY AGAIN LATER —

Right, the stupid app could apparently manipulate reality but not warp it. Or it was all a coincidence. Or he was going insane.

Either way, a good wank session to the perky tits and shaved pussy of his grateful HR rep wouldn't be a bad way to end the evening. He noticed the spiderweb tattoo on her stomach and nodded. He didn't expect she was secretly an alt-chick, but he was into it. He went to bed and grabbed out a sleeve to use for a long, prolonged bout of self-love before the next day.