Tessa Date 1, Part 2: A Hall, A Corridor

Andromeda

The group all gathers together and heads to the Media Room. Tina is there, beaming, along with that Bonnie girl, who looks like she is in utter despair. Tina pauses the argument she is having with what must be one of her daughters to take entry fees.

Andromeda: -20 BP

Gaia: -20 BP

Kevin: -20 BP

Tegan: -20 BP

The argument immediately starts up again. “Why does Winter get to fuck a contestant and I don’t?” the younger hoppalong whines.

“I don’t want to have this argument in front of the contestants, my precious, if very naughty, cutie.”

“But...”

“No buts, Bonnie. Winter got written permission. You did not.”

“But he was in chastity! It shouldn’t count!”

“You can either do your job without further complaint, cutie, or you can take it up with Queen Mommy.”

That shuts up the strawberry blonde. She slumps her way over to the concessions stand.

The Host bunny looks to the contestants now. “So, cuties and Kevin, welcome to your paid hint session! Now, normally, when a season does something like this, they give you similar challenges from several seasons to watch and draw comparisons to. Funny enough, a lot of seasons just tweak the same few basic challenges, so finding a bunch of options is pretty easy for them. Unfortunately, we can’t really do that. This competitive co-op format is pretty unique. But, we do have a couple challenges close enough for you to sink your thinky teeth into. So, here is the third challenge from a season y’all watched a couple of episodes from. Presenting: The Museum Heist!”

Tina winks and the tape starts to roll. The bunny-earred blonde is somewhat blocking the view of an elegant woman, clad in a gown of pale fabric that almost cuts the air around her like a knife, fingers teasing a table, who begins to orate, “Tonight, you will undertake a mission to the Museum of Pleasures Past. For those unfamiliar, it houses artifacts from past and present seasons of Harem Hotel—and not just mine.”

They all settle in, in their own way. Tegan is muttering about the number of cow-tittied women in the harem; Andromeda doesn’t point out that at least one of them was a lot smaller in the chest when they watched the introduction. Gaia alternates between annoyed about energy use and excitement over what seems to be plotting, “Ooh, I remember doing that some of stuff back in my eco-warrior days!”

“Planning heists?” Kevin asks incredulously.

“Planning to send a message to those evil polluters. Sometimes with paint, usually with fake blood.”

Good to know.

Kevin sits, watches, considers. Andromeda starts taking notes. Lots of notes. The room quiets as the paintball infiltration begins. As these women charge against a horde of identical security guards. The frantic energy. The sacrifice plays. The camaraderie. These girls are a team, not just a collection of individuals. They care for each other. Even the ones that act like they don’t. How do we get like that?

By the end, when Norah crosses the finish line triumphant, everyone but Tegan cheers. The vicious vixen growls, “Why couldn’t the cat-girl with the respectable breasts win? Or the weird six-arm girl?”

Andromeda ignores the fox-girl. She sits and thinks. What conclusions are we supposed to draw about that?

Tessa

This room is foreboding.

It wasn’t so much the architecture, all marble, glass, and burnished steel. It was the contents. Every exhibit represents a life destroyed by the show. Why Mona picked this room first is beyond her.

Mona is scanning for something in particular. Tessa just looks for something not particularly horrifying to start with. The first object to catch her eye enough to draw her in is a painting of a beautiful woman, raven hair flowing down to her ankles, impossibly huge breasts and hips for her frame, naked, in a field of flowers.

“Hey, Mona, over here. What do you think of this?”

Mona gives it the barest of glances as she looks around, “Oh, that’s Katherine. I saw her in an ad a couple of days ago. From the brief blurb, I think she got turned into a painting?” The mistress then went back to scanning.

Sure enough, the plaque reads, Katherine Summers (Replica) – Harem Hotel: The HH, Arabella, S186. The text of the description both confirms Mona’s answer and makes it wholly inadequate. Tessa shivers, despite not feeling cold. Something else. Please.

Another painting, this one of two people. The left is a brute of a man, his left eye ruined and displayed for the world to see. His muscles make Kevin now look like Kevin before his transformation. He is clad in a prison jumpsuit, literally bending the bars of his cage with his bare hands. The right is a wisp of a girl, a kitty eyepatch over her left eye. She looks a lot like Tegan, if Tegan was turned into a cat-girl and still didn’t eat: small breasts, small stature, small hips, thin as a rail. Her one good eye has a pink heart shaped iris and she presents a platter of cat shaped cookies. The plaque reads: Earl Greene, before and after elimination – Harem Hotel: Mermaid Frenzy Justice, Calypso, S09.

Another description, but at least this one feels more justifiable. Mr. Greene was apparently a serial killer before imprisonment. He always went after petite women, strangling them two at a time while forcing them to kiss. He tried the same act during a date with his season’s mistress and another contestant. He was turned into the very thing he hated, a powerless Lolita looking woman. Is that justice or just cruel irony?

She turns around to see a coffee table? Upon closer inspection, the table seems to be carved in the shape of a crab walking woman. Legs spread, arms bent painfully behind her back. Mouth open in a wide scream. Mona reads the plaque aloud: Jenny Ackley (Replica) – Harem Hotel: Binky's Big-Time Barista Bonanza, Binky, S01.

“Okay, that confirms some things,” Mona states, looking a little green.

“What?”

“I talked to Jenny. Tyalangan said she rescued Jenny from her abusive master. And, right there...”

Tessa reads the description where Mona points. The last line reads: “Ms. Ackley is presently under the protection of Tyalangan, the current Host of Harem Hotel: Woo the Girl, Save the World, S01.” There was a similar line at the end of Katherine’s description. Still, Mona talked to her!?!?!?

“Still not what I am looking for, but nice to see that the museum is at least giving us accurate information.”

“What are we looking for?” Tessa asks.

“Ooooh, ah… that maybe?”

Mona points to a display of a fox plushie? It’s cute and surprisingly accurate, except for having two tails. The plaque reads: Emotional Support Plushie – Harem Hotel: Sapphic Seaside, Calypso, S01, with an additional line below, Inspired by Añil Rodriguez's real-life elimination.

Reading the description that goes with it is hard. The girl apparently schemed with a Host of a different season to **** her Mistress. In a rarity, the Mistress of the season had to design the elimination herself, as the producer deemed the offerings from both the Host of the time and the staff as too cruel. Ever since, Harper O’Connor always included a plushie of her as part of her first fan-mail letter to another Master. My sister did that to someone and it was not considered too cruel? And fan-mail? Really? Still...

“Now we have a season name and a Host to track. We see that Tyalangan uses a different name now, so we can track her old name, too,” Mona concludes just as Tessa does. Then, she adds, “and she owes me a Vix plushie!”

“You WANT a plushie of that poor girl?”

“Hey, I am buddies with Vix. She’s nice. And cute. And I am jealous of her diet.”

The fox appears on Mona’s shoulder, wagging her tails. She yips. Tessa sighs in response, watching Mona give the fox some head pats.

Fox still perched on her shoulder, Mona asks, “Moving on. Where should we try to find clues next?”

“Well, given the name of their season, The Corridor of Sapphic Glory?”

“Sounds good.”

And so the trio proceeds to the corridor. What other horrors will we see?

Mona

The Corridor of Sapphic Glory is dominated by a large marble statue of Laura Black, her breasts thrust forward and her large draconian wings unfurled wide. She stands, one leg slightly bent to rest on a copy of her throne, examining the horizon.

“I masturbated to her!”

Tessa winces a bit at that, “Perhaps, Mona, you shouldn’t share that so loudly?”

Mona blushes. Oh. Yeah. Only degenerate perverts brag about who they jilled off to.

Still, they are here to see the exhibits, looking for the answers Tessa seeks. Mona scans the room. This one is much more interesting than the Hall of Eliminations. Mona wanders her way to a collection of strap-ons. They all seem to be replicas of strap-ons used by lesbian couples during the show. The description also includes a brief philosophical discussion on whether true sapphic love should include something so phallic. That is interesting. Not something I ever considered.

The paintings on the wall seem to have grabbed Tessa’s attention. She is currently examining a scene of a curvy blue-feathered woman eating out a curvy brown-haired woman, with what looks to be a slightly pudgier version of the latter reading a magazine about gardening on the side. The plaque reads: Danielle Montenue and Carly Granger – Harem Hotel: Island Vacation, [Redacted], S01.

“A little tragic, a little hopeful.” Tessa muses.

“Huh?”

Tessa reads out their story. Dani is the lesbian friend of that season’s Master and their season doesn’t reward contestant interactions. So, Dani has to go to the Master for points, outside of challenges. Still, she found love in the harem.

“Do you get points for sexy times with the others?” Mona asks.

“Yes, we do.”

“Good. Hard to decide who is prettier.”

“Similar body types. A little hard to tell. I definitely have a preference for the next pairing.”

Another blue (this time -haired) girl, with a cutie strawberry blonde, hair curling over her shoulder in a braid. They are in the 69 position, going to town on each other. The blue-haired beauty is jacked. The other girl posed for maximum attention. The plaque reads: Samantha Collins and Liesa Claes – Harem Hotel: The HH, Arabella, S200.

“Blue haired girl.” Mona answers.

“I like the redhead. I prefer my women to be feminine; the blue-haired one is too bulky.”

“She’s not that much bulkier than Tyalangan.”

Tessa gives Mona a dirty look, “You are welcome to drool over my sibling, but I am not sexually attracted to her.”

Wanting desperately to change the subject, Mona points to the next painting in the line. “Oh, look! I recognize one of them!”

They scoot to the next painting. Another pair in the 69 position. A tall lithe woman kissing and grinding against a shorter, bustier woman in a rose garden. The taller woman has a manic look to her, but the shorter one seems okay with the result. Gabriella Escarra and Misty Dawn – Harem Hotel: Haunted Castle, Shar, S01.

“Did you masturbate to her, too?” Tessa dryly asks.

“Ah, no,” Mona lies. Tessa doesn’t press. Mona is glad, noting, “Have a preference between these two?”

“The one on the ground. She kind of reminds me of you.”

Was that a flirt? Was Tessa hitting on me? Ahh...

So, when they shifted to the next painting, it takes a bit for Mona’s brain to catch up with what she is seeing. Two women. The smaller one, lilac skinned, is lying on her back on the clam-shell bed with her hips elevated by a triangle pillow. The taller one, all lithe muscle and long red hair in a pile of Viking braids, is holding the smaller one’s legs up and apart. The position doesn’t make sense. The plaque reads: Harper O’Connor and Skye Kimura – Harem Hotel: Sapphic Seaside, Calypso, S01.

“So many questions: why isn’t Tyalangan blue? And why are her boobs so small? What’s with the bed? What’s with that scar? What’s with that position? I don’t see how that is sex.”

Tessa considers the painting. It’s obvious that she’s judging it by a different standard than Mona’s. She’s examining the faces. So, Mona does too. Skye looks a bit frightened, a bit confused. Not blue Tyalangan looks determined. They both look in love; it’s a strange love, one that looks like it surprised both of them, but it’s love nonetheless.

When Tessa finally speaks after reading through the description, she sounds relieved, “They had a good wedding night. I am glad that they found each other. You see it, right? How Skye is afraid, but wants to be brave for Tanta? And how Tanta wants to bring her new bride pleasure?”

“Tanta?”

Tessa blushes now. Her face turns almost royal blue. “Child name. Forget I said it.”

“Okay,” Mona lies.

That one gets Mona a dirty look. “Please. I’m sure Tyalangan won’t get too mad, but it is the height of rudeness to address an adult elf by their child’s name. To answer your questions, I speculate Tyalangan hasn’t gotten whatever transformations that turned her into a sea elf or gave her bigger breasts at the point we are seeing depicted. The scar wasn’t there before the show; that must of happened on set. She still has it. The bed must be from their Suite.”

Tessa pauses and looks Mona in the eye, “As far as the position goes, I am not willing to go that far with you tonight, but remind me for our next date.”

Mona gulps, loudly. “Ahhh, how far are you planning on going with me?”

Tessa slowly scans the room as she answers, “Not sure yet, Mona. Let me know if you see anything in the heavy petting category you want to try. I think I have seen everything here that I will want to see. Where to next?”

Mona asks, “Is there a fetish archetype Tyalangan was fitted in? There might be a room for it somewhere?”

Tessa pulls out the map. After a brief consultation, she declares, “We need to go upstairs.”

So, Mona gladly follows Tessa, enjoying the view of her thong-clad behind the whole time.