Tell Pearl - rather, "Rose" - an abridged version of events

You can't think of any way to placate her without letting the cat out of the bag. And whether it's that she's still basically Pearl, or that you're still in the post sex glow, or that Rose proved her allegiance to you, you feel safe telling her the truth.

"Rose, you may not believe what I'm about to tell you, but -"

"BS. Try me. Freaking look at her!" says Rose, throwing her arms out toward Jane.

"What's going on?" asks Jane, spacey after her Cleansing, but still faintly worried.

"Fine, fine. But you can't freak out."

"Too late, I'm already freaking out," says Rose, hands on her head. "This is a good time to freak out."

You laugh and try to put Rose's arms back down. "Okay, I'll talk. It started when Indy found Sully, me, and Jane, and brought us back to the Popple Quench lab..."

You proceed to tell Rose about the Juicer Max 2000. At least, the G-rated, reader digest version.

"I turned pink?" asks Rose, horrified.

"You're not pink anymore," you note.

"Cause you - what - Cleansed me?" she asks, skeptical. "How can you be sure you fixed me, huh? How do you know I'm fixed? What if I had a cousin you didn't know about who fucking stopped existing? You wouldn't know!"

"Look, you didn't even have hair, all right? And then, post Popple, you were pretty much the exactly the same before," you lie, knowing Rose used to look somewhat different.

Compared to Pearl, Rose has an edgier, flashier fashion sense, and her music tastes are somewhat altered, but it could be worse, really. Cleansed Pearl said her favorite band was music. Now, Gloryhammer isn't Powerwolf (you looked Gloryhammer up on your phone), but come on - they're both over the top power metal. One's German and one's British, so it's only a few hundred miles difference. You do good work.

Rose calms down after your reassurances. "So if that's what happened to me," she says, "why did you do it to Jane?"

"Well," you say. "I found out that when you were Cleansed... the things I told you stuck."

Rose gasps. "What did you tell me?"

"Nothing big," you lie. You can't very well tell Rose you hypnotized her into being a sex fiend, but you have to give her something. "I... made you like video games."

She gasps louder. "That was you!?"

Okay, so maybe Rose is a little more dramatic than old Pearl too, but again - basically the same.

"So what, was I like a boring, sad, no-fun-allowed version of myself before?" interrogates Rose, wanting all the facts. "When we fucked was it like hooking up with Wednesday? Or Eeyore? Were we even friends?"

You picture Pearl in her dark cargos and ubiquitous hoodie. "You were kind of sad, but definitely not boring," you say, leaving out the detail you weren't hooking up at all. "And yeah, we still hung out to listen to music."

Rose takes in the news with a serious face, but just this one morsel of intel is enough for her to infer the rest of your plan. "Dude, you're going to hypnotize Jane into being your girlfriend?" she asks, shocked, looking back and forth between you and Jane.

Jane's too busy quietly inspecting her skateboard to pay attention.

Your face heats. You've been found out. Rose must've known about your crush on Jane, even though you never really talked about crushes and the like with Pearl.

"That's totally it. I'm right, aren't I," says Rose, triumphant.

You sheepishly itch your face. "Well..." You're in for it now.

But Rose grins, and her next question is one you don't expect. "Can I help?"