Tapas I

The seconds stretched out as Caleb stared at the extended hand. Unlike Amy, who had physically seen the devil in the vision, Caleb had only the oni’s recounting of what she had seen, and, to be perfectly honest, with everything that had gone on this week, the name of the devil that had ensnared Lucian had kind of gotten lost in the sauce a bit. Something in his memory was ringing off, but he couldn’t place it.

More than that, though, were his own instincts. A prickling at the back of his spine, the fact that Lucian was looking on and smiling, and something behind Andrea’s eyes that could only be described as inhuman, all had him second-guessing whether to take the woman’s hand.

Sensing his hesitation, the woman’s smile remained, and she gestured with her fingers, “Come now, dear, I’ve extended my hand in greeting. Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” The sharp canines of her smile suggested otherwise, “I’m here on vacation, I’d hate to think I wasn’t welcome.”

With that final word, something in the world pulsated that Caleb’s mind couldn’t comprehend, but it registered as the memory of when he had a gun to his back, but deeper inside. It wasn’t just his mortal form that was scared; something more eternal was at risk, and it knew it. Before the master could even register what was happening, he looked down to see his hand shaking hers.

Everyone in the Harem stared on with only Amy aware of any danger that had just transpired. She felt her own body go numb and sweat on the back of her neck. “Why is she here?!”

Releasing Caleb’s hand, Andrea gave a musical chuckle, lifting her hand to her lips, “Aw, good boy. Luciano told me you were an unruly bunch, but I can see you’re all sweet kids.” She turned her gaze back to Lucian.

Lucian cleared his throat and offered a smile, “You always know how to bring out the best in others.” His eyes darted up as if checking a clock, “I’m afraid that has to be enough play for now; it’s time to get this show rolling.” He tapped his slapstick against the side of Reyna’s cage, making the fox yelp, “Isn’t that right?”

Inside the cage, the assistant chuckled nervously, “That’s right!” Her voice was forcing the usual chipper tone she had presented earlier in the show, even as her eyes darted around and pleaded for help.

Andrea turned and made a silent waggle of her fingers, rejoining Lucian at his side. The host smiled broadly, “As you may have noticed, my Mentor from hell, Andrea, has decided to use some of her precious allotted vacation time to join us on set. She will have free rein during her time here, and I expect you all to show her due respect.”

Maddy was visibly shaking; the idea that Lucian had a mentor was frightening all on its own. Next to her, Maya raised a hand and then spoke up, “Is she part of the challenge?”

Lucian amusedly shook his head, “No, she is here as an observer and will be for the duration of Round 3, but it would be a waste for her to miss the challenge now, wouldn’t it?”

Stella scoffed and blew a raspberry, “Whatever, just another dipshit from hell, this one’s just a hag on top of it all.”

There wasn’t movement, there was a flash of flames, and suddenly Stella was being held aloft by Lucian’s hand, which had gone sooty and black as it clutched the collar of her shirt and flickered with flames. His eyes were vicious, and there was no false mirth in his expression. “I said to give her respect; I will be enforcing that.”

The imp struggled in his grasp, “Fucker let me go!”

From the sidelines, Andrea smiled, “Oh, Luciano, let her go. The insolence is part of her charm. We don’t want to discourage that.”

Without another word, Stella was dropped to the ground. Looking down, seeing her clothes charred and torn, she stared up at Lucian, “Jesus Christ, man, aren’t you a little old to have a crush on your teacher?”

Disregarding her outburst, Lucian waved his hand, “Good a time as any to get you all dressed for the occasion.” Flames licked up all their forms, and the contestants' clothes were replaced with the full-body black latex suits from the first challenge, though no stimulation came from them.

Lily looked down at the black suit covering her body and frowned, “Is this going to trigger my transformation?”

Lucian waved his hand dismissively, “Not until the challenge starts and we have a fun activity planned before we even get to that.” He gave a cheshire cat-like grin.

Caleb moved in front of the girls, trying to act as a barrier between them and Lucian, “Lucian, that’s not fair, you can’t just add new obstacles for the girls without warning! How is that fair? There’s supposed to be five challenges.”

“And there are!” Lucian smiled and shook his head, “Dear heavens, boy, so suspicious. This is no more dangerous than fan mail. We simply opened up to the audience for them to ask questions, whatever they like, with the guarantee of an answer!” He held out his arms open wide, “That’s right, viewers, we are fully on your side for this one. No lies of omission, no bent truths, and no clamming up. You submitted your questions, and you will get your answers!”

Caleb Held out his arms, “You can’t **** us to answer anything!”

Lucian tilted his head menacingly as the smile on his face grew. “Oh my dear boy, have you forgotten what show you’re on?” He spun his slapstick and landed it in the palm of his hand, “You’re lucky that’s ALL I’m doing.” The demon then lifted his fingers and snapped and Caleb turned as Maddy gave off a sharp yelp.

In a flash of flames on her head appeared a flaming black crown of thorns that nestled into her hair, just threatening to pierce the skin of her skull.

In moments, sounds of anguish came from each contestant and the master as similar crowns formed on their head. While the initial appearance of the crown was painful, as it sat on their heads, the flame and thorns seemed to do no damage as Lucian looked on at the wincing masses with glee.

“To ensure our cast's cooperation, they have all been fitted with a Liar’s Penitence Crown. If they attempt to lie or hide their answer, they will receive a sensation akin to having every pore of their body pierced by thorns. No physical harm will be done, though! We have strict guidelines on that level of gore.” Lucian smiled.

Noemi, who was crawling back to her feet, looked up at Reyna in her cage, “What about her? Or you!? No crown to ensure your honesty?”

Lucian smirked, “Good question, my dear.” he pointed his slapstick at Noemi and then spun it around before tapping Reyna’s cage, “See, my good ol’ assistant knows that if she misbehaves, much worse is in store for her than basic pain. So she’s going to cooperate.” He leaned in and pinched the redhead’s cheeks, “Aren’t you, you conniving fox?”

Reyna nodded and then pulled away from Lucian’s hand, “I’m just Reyna, silly silly Reyna.” She twisted her fingers against her cheeks, “I got nothing to hide.”

“Uh-huh, as for me.” Lucian took a step forward and leaned down towards Amy, “Thanks to a certain someone, my dirty laundry was already aired out for everyone to see. So I have nothing worth hiding anymore.”

Amy, on her knees, was avoiding eye contact, but as Lucian turned to go back to his poised position, she looked up, “Being hurt by people you trusted is nothing to be ashamed of; anyone would lash out after that.”

Lucian’s movement froze, and at the sidelines, Andrea raised an eyebrow and gave a amused grin before the host rounded on the oni. He looked down at her with cold fury, his face stoic, but each word laced with seething contempt, “You are harbouring under the illusion that inside me there is a little hurt boy that just needs a hug. Let me make this perfectly clear. That disgusting existence I spent as a weak, fawning parasite is a footnote. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been torturing souls? How many of those lifetimes fit into the more worthwhile existence Andrea gave me?” Lucian spat at the ground and tapped Amy’s chin with his slapstick, “That boy may have been who I was, but I am a demon man grown, and I am not in need of saving. So save your messiah complex for the master.”

Letting her chin fall, the host walked back, “SO questions, we got so many!” A podium appeared with a rolled-out scroll, “Some of these are aimed at individuals, some at the group, and we will not be moving on from the group questions until at least one of you has answered. But lets start with a softball…ah!”

Stella : What drink do you prepare when someone orders the bartenders choice?

Stella blinked, and her crown began to glow, “I’m going to answer, dammit. Jeez,” She stood up and brushed herself off, “If someone is new to the bar? A Sazerac, it's just a jazzed-up old-fashioned, and honestly, if they don’t know me, then they're probably just looking for something familiar but different. If I know them, then I'm throwing a Corpse Reviver No 2 at them because it’s the tastiest way to forge the night.”

Lucian smirked, “See not so bad, and to prove we’re not biased, here’s a few for Reyna. They all share a similar theme, so I figure it would be best to group them.”

"To Reyna: I debated for a while about asking this to you. People down being kicked et all that. But then I remembered the book about you, and your own passion for kicking people down, or blind them in the most repugnant way among many other things.
So, how is life here, now that Easy Mode is well and truly over for you?
[Hardric]"
Dear Reyna how does it feel to be put completely on the back foot after thinking you were the one in control of the situation do give your opinion on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 in a Julius Caesar seeing he was stabbed by Brutus. 10 as it went just as planned. At next fan mail I be able to give an appropriate gift for your situation. ["Cursed Dragon Monk"]
To Reyna: A thought occurs. What *were* your plans for this season again? Not just for the Contestants, but the demon you tried to puppeteer around as proxy Host? Just curious...
[Hardric]
Reyna, how’s the collar?

In her cage, Reyna rolled her eyes and then leaned over to lie on her side, “Well, as much as it might pain you to hear this, I just wanted to run a good season! Full of twists, turns, and drama! Needling Lucy was part of that, and sometimes when you run around making schemes, you end up with pie in your face.” She twiddled her fingers together, “Well, maybe quite a bit of pie. I’d rate this at a 7, and it chafes sometimes.”

Lucian moved through the scroll, “See, foxes truly can be domesticated, it seems. Hmm, if I take a pause after each of these, it’s going to take forever.” He tapped the scroll with the slapstick, and it ignited, “Automation Baby.” Words then appeared in the air, written in flames for all to see.

Lucian now that you have finally gained proper control and power over your season of Harem Hotel how much more suffering do you wish to inflict moving forward? Regardless I'm glad to see a Male host do well for themselves in this extremely female dominated female field. *PS: If you do need to remove the chain off her after the setup for this AMA is over I recommenced a strong binding spell(Curse) so that she can't disobey any more future orders. At the next Fan mail opportunity I try to send some Gelato to you so knowing your favorite flavor would be great.* ["Cursed Dragon Monk"]

Lucian ran a finger over his chin, “Good to see we have some viewers with some taste. Now, it may surprise you to learn that suffering is a tool and not the goal.”

“Bullshit,” Caleb remarked.

To this, the host’s smile only broadened, “I do intend to make liberal use of this tool in order to make sure this harem forms as entertainingly as possible.”

Lily : If you had to pick a different famous vtuber avatar to wear, which would it be?

Lily frowned. It was so weird being asked about Vtubing after two weeks of being here. It felt a world away, “If I had to pick purely on aesthetics, I’d probably go with Cecilia Immergreen. I just think her model design is fairly gorgeous.”

Maddy, will you marry me?

Maddy yelped, and her hands rose to her mouth as her face flushed pink, “Um, um, um. I like someone else! I’m sorry!” Which resulted in Caleb’s own cheeks turning a shade of pink.

Stella, how does it feel to be so flat chested again after receiving the boob blessing?

“Ok, I need to clear something up.” Stella’s voice was surprisingly serious, “I like big tits, but I wanted big tits to do well in the competition. I don’t like…WANT want them. Like, I’m hot, I don’t need it.” The imp cocked her hip and posed, “But I won’t say no if I get em.”

Question for Reyna: Where's the beef?

From her cage, Reyna yelled out, “Oh, for the love of…I’m NOT Wendy!”

Is the shopkeeper really Lucians Grandma or is that a joke of Reyna?
Have you visited your grandma yet? Lol

Lucian clicked his tongue, and there was a collective gasp from the contestants as they stared at him, waiting for his answer. He eventually opened his mouth, “It would appear that during my human life, she was indeed my biological grandmother, my mother’s mother. Apparently, they grew estranged when my mother moved to the city. No, I haven’t visited her. As I said, that was lifetimes ago. It doesn’t matter.”

Maya : What's the first game you remember playing?

Maya flinched as she recalled, her hands bunching together, “Go fish, with my mom.”

Maya, what game would you consider yourself to be the best at?

Her hands thrust down to her sides as she balled them into fists, “This one, I’m going to win.” Her voice cracked as she answered, and made Lily look over with concern.

[To the contestants and the master] First thing you would want to do once you are out of this place?
Hardric

Caleb was looking back at Maya with concern, but then looked forward, holding out his hand to signal he would take it, “Hug my dad and apologize for not appreciating everything he was trying to do for me.”

[Contestants and Master] What would you say/advice to any new Contestant sent to Harem Hotel?
Hardric

It was Amy who spoke up, “Learn as much about the rules as possible and your own show’s mores.”

“Also, talk with the other contestants about their expectations of how things are going to go down,” Lily added

(To Stella) how are you feeling about being an imp after a week of it?

Stella flicked her tail and gave her wings a gentle flutter. “I wouldn’t have picked it out myself, but honestly, the side benefits of extra erogenous zones?” She mimed a chef’s kiss, “Killer babes.

Your season didn't have a token elimination at the start, but what if you had? Which contestant do you think it would have been, and what would have been your exit for them?

Lucian gave it a moment's thought, “Starting eliminations are a waste. No one learns anything more than what a display of previous seasons does. You lose a contestant, you miss out on their prolonged suffering, the good stuff. If I had to pick, Amy because she’s insufferable. And I’d make her the type of woman her father always wanted.”

The answer yielded a balking response from Amy.

Noemi: How would you react if one of the other members of Caleb's harem got pregnant first? How do you intend to prevent that from happening?

Noemi blinked and then waved her hand and chuckled, “Oh, silly! No, it doesn't matter who is first; everyone is going to get it eventually.” This earned some worried expressions from over half the harem, “But considering how thoroughly I’m going to make sure Caleb uses me, its only statistically most likely it will be me first!”

Caleb chuckled nervously and stared off into the middle distance.

Maddy : What's your all time favorite dish to cook?

Maddy had barely recovered from the shock of Noemi’s answer in time to speak, “Oh there are a lot of things, but I really love dishes that come together in one pot, are hearty and full of flavour like Cassolette!”

If you could be on any other season, which would you pick? (Open to anybody)

Stella piped up, “That haunted castle? They’re always fucking. Sounds like a good time.”

Maya spoke, “There's apparently a season all about games? That could be fun but…” She glanced at Caleb, “I have reasons to stay put.”

To Lucy: If you were to be a Master, what would your ideal contestant be like?

Lucian paced, “Accomplished, poised, intelligent, the type of person who pushes you to your ideals.”

Stella snorted and looked aside to Andrea, “Dark-skinned, short hair, penchant for animals.”

To Reyna: If you to be a Contestant, what would your ideal Master be like?

Reyna reached out to her bars and gave a big grin, “Someone fun to tease, big reactions! A little too serious for their own good! Someone who, when I made a move, would turn to jello!”

[To Arietta] Out of curiosity, what would be the thing in modern technology that looks the most interesting to you?

Lucian sighed, “For ease of getting this moved along…” The demon snapped his fingers and a fiery circle appeared in the air with a portal viewing the resting shopkeeper. “Shopkeeper, wake up.”

Arietta roused from her slumber and blinked, confused, running a hand through her hair, a twig fell out while she gazed out at the group, “Lucian? What is going on?”

“Your input is needed; this question arrived for you,” He gestured to the flaming words.

Arietta squinted and then ran her fingers over her sleeve, “Movies…they sound like dreams that you get to share with others.”

Lucian nodded, “Thank you, that will be all.”

Arietta held out a hand and then dropped it as the portal closed

(Open to anybody) what’s your favourite transformation anybody has received?

Stella and Noemi answered simultaneously, “Sweet Treats!” And Maddy covered her face.

Eliza stretched, “I don’t miss the aches and pains of aging one bit.”

Who's been the most surprising contestant to you so far? Anyone succeeding where you think they'd fail?

Not pausing for a moment, Lucian nodded, “Madeline, I had thought her goody two-shoes act would have held her back, but turns out there's a little strumpet hiding inside. Who knew?” Maddy’s face grew crimson.

Lucian : What plans can you share about making sure the harem falls to chaos and debauchery, as humans inevitably do?

Lucian laughed and shrugged, “You don’t need plans, as you yourself have said, they inevitably do it all on their own. You just poke them every once in a while.

For Naomi. Did you enjoy wearing the cow costume? Did it get the reaction from Caleb you were hoping for? Would you mind a cow girl like transformation if it got you such reactions from Calen on a regular basis?

“I have a lot to make up to Caleb for, I understand that now. So I would undergo any humiliation to make him happy. If he wants to see me as a cowgirl to be bred and milked, I will take on that duty.” Noemi said this perverse proclamation like a solemn vow.

To Maddy: What's the worst thing you can imagine someone doing?

Maddy dragged her hands away from her face, “I…think this is a bad question. Because I can imagine a lot, but in different directions. Killing is bad, arguably the worst, but so is ****,” She glanced at Lucian, “Or sexual ****,” she looked at Mira, “What I am learning is unfortunately humans have a deep well of depravity, and I don’t want to spend time dwelling on it when I can be working to do my best.”

(Open to anybody) If you could make one transformation for yourself what would it be?

Stella gazed at her head, “The ability to put my horns away.”

Amy raised her hand, “I’ll second that.”

Stella nodded, “Fucking a pain in the ass when trying to sleep.”

Mira then spoke up, surprising everyone, “The ability to undo your mistakes…”

This earned a dark chuckle from Lucian and a scowl from Eliza

Looking forward to the next challenge! Are there any challenges from other seasons you've liked best, or any you wish you could have done first?

Lucian smirked, “Azure’s first challenge was delightfully sadistic and horny, a perfect fit for the show’s depravity.”

Hearing this, Caleb was sure he didn’t want to know what that first challenge had been.

Question for Maddy: What are your feelings about the comments audience members make about your weight? How do those comments make you feel, and do they ever cause you to question your suitability for a relationship?

Maddy’s hands fell to her sides, and she looked down, “Oh, I guess they would be commenting on that…yeah, that makes sense. I-” She paused, “It’s nothing new, I’ve been told by girls all my life I'm too fat to be pretty or to date or anything, and then you go online and you see girls trying to lose weight and get the comments of “who are you kidding”, like we can’t win. I-” She clenched her eyes shut, and tears formed, “I want to say I don’t care, but I do. I’ve always thought I was too ugly and fat to get someone to love me, so to hear that it’s echoed by other people.” Her chest shuddered as she took a breath in. “It hurts.”

Caleb walked over and took her hand, “Those people don’t matter.”

Maddy nodded, “Maybe not…” She smiled even as she shook her head, “It hurts all the same.”

Reyna : Answer as honestly as you can, which of the following could you beat in a fight? Thanks, Bugs Bunny, Saitama, Batman, Mister Mxyzptlk, Symboli Rudolf, Haru Urara.

In her cage, Reyna tittered and leaned back against the bars, the camera zooming in on her face as she smiled, “I feel like you already know the answer to this question, asker, the answer is I could beat any of them as long as it was funny.”

Caleb : Did you ever consider trying to network with other US voice actors? They seem like a pretty open and accepting crowd.

Caleb scratched his cheek, “No, I think it's pretty clear I haven't really been taking this career seriously. I think I know the crowds you’re thinking of and let me just impress upon you that the voice acting scene is large, and you’re talking about a prominent collection of singularities; most voice actors don’t reach that level of prominence, and generally speaking, like attracts like. Unless you are offering something to the network, there is no reason to accept a guy who mostly does small gigs.”

Mira : Who, besides Caleb, is the client who gave you the most trouble?

“There seems to be some confusion here. Caleb didn’t give me trouble outside of not wanting to advance his career. His work was exemplary. Which is why it was irritating he was so complacent…” Mira looked off to the side.

Eliza: What is your favorite ethical conundrum or boundary that you are going to have to cross on Harem Hotel?

Eliza smirked, “Is it ever acceptable to knowingly consign someone to servitude. That’s what the whole show is about in the end.” However, her look to Mira suggested she had a very specific set of parameters in mind.

Amy : You've reviewed other seasons of Harem Hotel. If you had to switch the transformations of any member of the harem with those from a different season, whose transformations would you switch, and with whom?

The oni gave a amused grin, “Tracy Black from Haunted Mansion essentially got a full cyberpunk tune-up. I'd have to deal with bigger breasts, but I'd get a cyberarm and a robot out of the deal.”

"Question for Noemi: Would you consider cutting your hair a little shorter? Inquiring minds would like to know."

Noemi nodded fervently, “Yes, once I become pregnant, I will be getting a haircut. I’ve done enough babysitting to know you want fewer handholds for tiny hands, not more.”

Where does Stella get her love of reading from?

“My dad had a large collection of books back home.” Stella’s eyes cast downward, “When I did well with my chores or a test, he’d help me pick one to read as a reward. It’s stupid, it’s a stupid question. Move on , please.”

"Fox girl, what do you use to keep your tail so fluffy and soft? Always looking for new product recommendations :3
[From a fellow Fox: jS]"

Several raised eyebrows turned to Reyna. This was the second reference to her as a fox they had heard, and she let out a beleaguered sigh, “Fox is out of the bag at this point.” With a small puff of smoke, her glamour vanished, revealing her lithe form, bushy tail, and long ears

She then poked the camera, “As for you, Natural oils are doing most of the work for you, love. I do a dust bath every few days to prevent TOO much buildup, and if it gets messy, I use water and oatmeal shampoo. Hope it helps.” Then the redhead blew a kiss to the camera.

"Question for Maya: How do you sleep at night knowing that the common folk are being exploited by the rich, and you are doing nothing to overthrow the corrupt system of wealth and power that's plagued democracy for years when you finally have the money to make a difference in the life of a young asian girl who works in a boutique?"

Maya’s eye twitched, and she felt the pressure of the morning build up and then explode as she started yelling, “What the fuck do you want me to do?! I got lucky! That’s it! I was living in poverty! Now I’m supposed to feel bad that I’m not fixing it for everyone else?! Fucking fine, tell me the name of your boutique! You can have it. I don’t fucking care!” Her chest heaved

Caleb was positive he had never heard Maya raise her voice or curse nearly as much as that before. Lily and Maddy both moved to comfort her, and he saw Mira reach out a hand before pulling it back.

Question for Lily: Once upon a time, you and Calem used to only have eyes for each other. If you could go back to those times, what would you have done differently?

Lily separated herself slightly from Maya and looked towards Caleb before turning her eyes down, “Back then…I thought of Caleb as my rock and that he would always be there. I assumed that he would be, and because of that…I didn’t do anything to keep him there. Maybe it’s bullshit or not enough, but if I could go back…I’d make sure he knew how much it meant to me that he was there.”

There was a moment of silence before Caleb looked back, “It’s definitely not bullshit.” They locked eyes before the next question appeared.

Question for Stella: What are you honest feelings about Caleb? Skip the bullshit, what do you honestly feel towards him?

Stella scoffed, “What bullshit, what is there to say? We’re hanging out, just chilling-FUCK” Her crown glowed hot, and her body convulsed as pain ran through her. Eliza moved over to keep her steady as she was left hunched over, chest heaving.

“Fuckers” the imp spat, “What the fuck does it matter?! We’re gonna fuck, why do you- JESUS CHRIST!” Her body convulsed again and it was all Eliza could do to keep her standing

Noemi looked over and called out, “Just answer the question!”

“Shittittyfuckballs! FINE! I like him! He’s cute! He’s fun to tease! I like hanging with him, ok?! It’s fun! Fuck!” She pushed Eliza off and started pacing

Mustachioed Faun : How are you so cool?

Lucian stared at the words with a flat, unimpressed expression and sighed, snapping his fingers. “So, let's correct an error; there is not one Mustachioed Faun.”

A Pyramid of identically looking fauns appeared, “There are ten, one for each day of the week. They are sisters, and they share the mustache, and yes, they fuck each other. Let's get that out of the way.” He waved his hand, and the fauns vanished. “Should only be one left lets see…”

Lucian, fuck you?

Lucian began to laugh, raising a hand to his face, obscuring his features. “Ah, what a perfect note to end on as I begin to explain today’s challenge! But I know lengthy word explanations are far from ideal, so in light of that.” In a burst of flames, a revolver appeared in his hand, which he lowered down and pointed the muzzle at Caleb.

There was an echoing sound of combustion, and a smoky trail floated from the end of the gun as stunned and wide-eyed, Caleb looked down at his chest, and flew hard down on his back.

Lucian grinned viciously at the group watching in terror, “Ah, yes, we love a practical demonstration.”