Talking

Aaralon watched Shane’s eyes flicker between him and the others nervously as he answered.

“I would...but…” He said, his words sounding as if they were being pulled from him by ****. “I don’t...want to.” He finished lamely, sounding like even he didn’t buy his own words.

“Then why come at all?” Aaralon asked. “Seems a lot of risks to just sit by the fire.”

Shane eyed him, seeming to be weighing something up before speaking.

“Sally says this...god you follow accepts everyone, right?”

Aaralon smiled warmly, feeling on sure ground here. “He sees our true natures and accepts us all without judgment.”

Shane leaned back then, letting out a long heavy sigh, his eyes focusing on Henry and Ethan for a long time before he spoke again.

“So if I was more...forceful than others,” he finally said. “He wouldn’t judge me for that?”

“Of course not. Like I said, he accepts all of us.”

“And if I was….forceful with other men?” Shane spoke as if he was feeling out a rotten tooth, waiting for the moment it would begin to hurt.

Aaralon couldn’t help but laugh then, his voice low and warm as he shook his head gently. His fears of having to get rid of Shane vanishing in a single moment.

“He not only accepts it,” Aaralon exclaimed. “He encourages it!”

Shane looked surprised then, a look of disbelief creeping across his face even as the evidence of the Master's views on homosexuality played out before him.

“You shouldn’t deny yourself,” Aaralon went on, leaning closer to Shane. “Right now. On this night! You should be able to accept your desires and act on them!”

Aaralon stared at Shane, his whole body thrumming with the message of self-acceptance that his Master had shown him. Shane, who had leaned away when Aaralon leaned in, seemed to struggle with the idea. His fists clenching and unclenching rhythmically and he looked between Aaralon and the group by the fire. Aaralon could almost see the decades of deeply ingrained shame fighting against the idea of letting himself truly do what he wanted.

“If I, “Shane began, his voice like distant thunder. “Let myself be what I want. You would let me?”

Aaralon felt a thrill at the suggestion. Shane was a big man and if Aaralon let him get his hands on him he knew he would be powerless to stop whatever Shane wanted to do. The idea of losing control in that way sent a thrill up his spine.