Talking to Dorin

Liking the story? Want to get a week ahead? Head over to my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/twilitdesires, where you can get access to that and other goodies including other stories and a Discord!

“I just returned from a little trip to a fascinating shop,” Ahsch told Dorin as the servant poured some afternoon tea. “Talhort’s Bodyshop.”

Dorin glanced up at his Lord, an eyebrow quirked. “I assume from the name it’s a shop for body modifications, such as tattoos or piercings?”

Ahsch nodded, taking a testing sip of his cup, wincing at the heat, and carefully returning it to its plate. “Among other things, yes, they did provide simple modifications like that.”

The eyebrow climbed higher. “But… that’s not their main focus?”

Ahsch gave his servant a searching look for a moment. Though what, exactly, he was searching for, he wasn’t sure. “Their primary focus is to aid those like the shop’s proprietor transition fully to their desired body.”

A questioning frown stole across Dorin’s face. “‘Like the shop’s proprietor?’” he echoed.

“A male monster, who had been born in a female body and was gifted the use of a djinn’s Virgin Wish.”

Dorin’s eyes widened. His mouth opened, hung still for a second, then carefully closed. The servant busied himself ordering the tea set before gesturing towards the seat across from his Lord, asking permission, which Ahsch granted with a nod. Then he sat - or almost perched, rather - in the chair, staring intently at Ahsch’s desk in thought for a long few moments.

Ahsch tested his tea again, and repeated his earlier wince.

“I… you aren’t mentioning this for no reason, Ahsch,” Dorin finally said, raising his eyes to meet his Lord’s.

Ahsch shook his head. “I’m not.”

The servant took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “You’re suggesting that… I want something similar?”

“I… suspect it,” Ahsch admitted, “but it’s more of a question.”

Dorin nodded slowly. “What…” he finally started, only to hesitate for several seconds. “What makes you think that?”

Ahsch settled back into his seat, his head canted slightly to one side. “You’ve never seemed… comfortable. In your own skin, I mean. And I’ve noticed some… they’re hard to describe, the emotions I’ve seen. Longing and jealousy, aimed at Ariin, and Mahat, and Avery, and the others. But not necessarily… the emotions don’t seem to be directed at whatever it was they were doing.”

Dorin swallowed, his teeth grinding slightly. “It was at them themselves,” he murmured.

Slowly, Ahsch sat forward. “Dorin…” he asked softly. “Do you want that?”

It was quiet in the office for several minutes.

Ahsch eventually tested his tea again, then took a proper sip.

“I have…” Dorin hesitantly began, “fantasized… about…” He paused, shrugging his head to the side. “That. But it was always an idle fantasy. Something that wasn’t… that couldn’t be done.” He glanced up at Ahsch, then back down at the desk.

“I don’t have a Virgin Wish to gift you,” Ahsch said. “Nor do I have magic of Enochiel - yet. But searching for that was what brought me to Talhort. And if it’s something that you would want - that would make you… comfortable. Happy. Then I want to give it to you. Talhort said that they have potions to begin hormonal changes - well, _he _didn’t say that, but I figured out that they’ve made testosterone and estrogen potions - and I’m sure that we could find you clothing…”

“No, that’s…” Dorin quickly interrupted, then stopped and flushed somewhat. “I… you don’t need to do that, My Lord.”

Ahsch winced at the formal address. “Dorin… may I make a… personal request?” The servant looked up sharply, eyes like a deer’s. “Not as Lord Ahsch Odestag, nor as the Prophet of Enochiel. Not even as the strange hrafthi who arrived here as a guest of Lady Celes. But just as Ahsch of Sarvas?” He paused, then swallowed heavily. “As Mitchel Cohen?”

Dorin stared at Ahsch, jaw hanging open. Eventually, he managed to close his mouth and nod.

“Just… think about it. Think about it as a real possibility - because I’m offering it as one. It’s not an idle, impossible fantasy - not anymore, at least. And if, in that light, you view it as only a passing fancy, a… curiosity, wondering what it would be like, then tell me that in a month, and I’ll drop it, and we can laugh about it in ten years as that time I totally misread things.

“But if you find it as something more, something that you want - even if just a little… then I want to help you explore that. You’ve been loyal, and have been a far greater boon to me than I suspect any of us realize. If I can help you at all, I doubt there’s anything you could ask that I would consider too great a request.”

Ahsch didn’t need Heart Sight to know that the moisture on his servant’s eyes, the tremble on his throat, was a great upwelling of myriad emotions. “May I be excused, My Lord?” Dorin managed to whisper, a tiny, overwhelmed smile on his lips.

Ahsch smiled back and nodded. “I heard Butler got some Dennire chocolates, you should try some,” he replied.