Sue Storm Has Misgivings, But Porkum Technically Hasn't Broken A Law...

The Invisible Woman tapped her foot irritably. Porkum hung suspended in her invisible **** field as she tried to decide what to do with him. To hear him tell it, he was innocent of any crime beyond just existing illegally in this space-time continuum. Yet he had sent her those bonbons. Had hosed her down with his cum from the ridiculously huge cock. Her head still throbbed painfully, her body was hot, she was still coated with his semen.

His mutant semen.

There was a bathroom in the office area on the ground floor of the pork-packing plant. Sue Storm cleaned herself up as best she could. Porkum remained trapped as she composed herself for the call she had to make.

With a deep breath, she set her communicator to contact the X-Men.

Emma Frost answered.

"Mrs. Richards. Who is the problem?" the blonde telepath said.

Straightforward and to the point. Sue had never made a social call to the X-Men, so if she did contact them, it was a problem, and if she was contacting the X-Men then it was a mutant problem. Hence who, not what.

"He calls himself Porkum. He claims to be a mutant from another dimension. He's been...a nuisance. Sex based powers, some kind of pheromone, difficulty with proper social norms," Sue said, without further explanation. "But if I let S.W.O.R.D. or I.C.E. deal with him..."

"I understand," the former White Queen of the Hellfire Club said. "Where are you? We'll send someone to pick him up."

Sue Storm gave the plant's address. Then it was just time to wait. Which involved looking at Porkum, naked and suspended in midair. Not a great look. With a sigh, she reshaped for **** field into a hollow sphere with airholes. Big enough for him to move around a little, like a particularly large and lewd hamster in a ball.

"I don't suppose you have any clothes?" she asked.

He gave an exaggerated shrug.

"Why hide when you've got a bod like mine?" he said innocently.

Sue felt as if a dwarf was driving a small spike into her forebrain. Her vision swam almost double, and the great pink elephant's trunk that hung from Porkum's crotch waved luridly. The Invisible Woman collapsed into a chair.

"So...what are you going to do with me?" Porkum said.

"I contacted the X-Men. They're mutants. You're a mutant. They're sending someone to deal with you."

Which could take seconds, minutes, or hours. Emma Frost hadn't given a timeline. It wasn't like the X-Men didn't have teleporters to spare, but she had no idea what else they were dealing with.

"Sure you can't just let me go?" Porkum said. "Or hey, how about a date?"

"Married," Sue reminded him. "And you sent me sperm-laced chocolates. You're lucky I'm not handing you over to S.W.O.R.D. I hear they vivisect extradimensional entities these days."

That shut Porkum up. Blessed silence stretched on for minutes...and then the X-Men that Emma Frost had tasked with retrieving Porkum arrived.