Striped Streakers

"You want us to WHAT?!" Kaylee shrieked as she, Cameron, and Stacy looked at Wendy as if their friend grew a second head.

"You heard me." Wendy said in determination. "We're going streaking this weekend! Just like we always planned on but never got around to do!"

"You mean back when we were cute, bubbly eighteen to twenty-one year olds in college?" Cameron asked, raising an eyebrow. "Rather than the four twenty-six to thirty-two year old women we are now?"

"Your point?"

"My point, you moron, is we can't do that now!" Cameron spat in annoyance. "Especially now with our careers! I'm the CEO of a multimillion dollar company!"

"And I'm the Chief of Police." Stacy added.

"Yeah, and in case you forgot, I'm running for Mayor!" Kaylee added, "If we get caught and arrested for indecent exposure, Stacy and Cameron lose their jobs, and I lose any chance of earning this city's votes! Now, you probably don't care because you're the manager of a Burger Guy, but -"

"Relax, relax!" Wendy said with a chuckle, "It's alright. I thought of everything beforehand. No one is going to see or recognize us."

"And what makes you so sure about that?" Stacy asked flatly.

"Just here me out." Wendy began, "I was flipping through the channels one night when I saw this nature documentary on Animal Planet. Did you know that tigers use their stripes and coloration as a form of camouflage?"

The other three stared at her flatly. "Good Lord, you're an idiot." Kaylee groaned with a sigh, "Everyone knows that! And what does that have to do with what you want us to do?"

"Well, if we paint ourselves with tiger stripes and stick to the wooded areas of the park..."

"Oh yeah! That makes the problem go away!" Kaylee said sarcastically, "We'll be seen by hundreds of people who know us, lose our jobs and voters, and be the laughing stocks of the era, but at least we'll look like idiots painted with tiger stripes!"

"No, no! See that's the beauty of it!" Wendy said, "Nobody is gonna know who we are because we'll be streaking through the park in the next city over."

"And what happens if people see us and take our pictures, hmm?!" Kaylee challenged.

"Or worse," Stacy added, "what if someone we know is visiting the next city over?"

"Simple." Wendy said as she pulled out a paper mask with a tiger face. "Viola! Instant anonymity!"

"That's your plan?" Kaylee asked flatly. "Tiger stripes and paper masks while running through the park naked of a completely different city, miles away from our homes? That's what you call thinking of everything beforehand?"

"Pretty smart, right?"

"No." Kaylee stated, shaking her head. "You have come up with a lot of stupid ideas since we met in college, but this is simply -"

"Now, hold on a second." Cameron interrupted, bringing a finger to her chin in thought. "Assuming we play our cards just right, this could actually..."

"You aren't seriously considering this, are you?!" Kaylee gasped.

"Well, Wendy does have a point." Cameron said with a shrug, "If we're careful, our faces won't be on the internet. And nobody knows what our naked bodies look like, apart from us and our parents. So your birthmark and Stacy's Barney tattoo will be covered up with orange paint."

"Hah! I remember daring you to get that when we were eighteen!" Wendy said to Stacy as she giggled at the memory. "But I thought you had it removed."

"It's on my right ass cheek and it was painful enough getting it there." Stacy said, rolling her eyes. "I couldn't get it removed even if I wanted to."

"And here's something funny..." Wendy said with a smirk, turning to Kaylee. "Weren't you the one who said we should go streaking sometime before we reached forty, Kay?"

"I was a drunk twenty-one year old at a party!" Kaylee shot back.

"Point." Wendy said, "Counterpoint: When we showed you the video of you saying it the following morning, you said that you, and I quote, 'Wouldn't be against the idea if we ever found a way to not get arrested'."

"Th-that... That was before I decided to run for Mayor!"

"So, you want to bring politics into this?" Wendy asked with a smile. "Okay. All opposed to streaking?"

"Nay!" Kaylee spat.

"All in favor?" Wendy continued as she and Cameron simultaneously shouted, "Aye!"

"Why you little..." Kaylee growled before turning to Stacy. "Stacy didn't vote yet! And as she is The Chief of Police, I think we all know which she's gonna vote for."

"Hang on!" Wendy chimed in. "She might surprise us. Stacy? Yay or nay?"