Sticky Politics

New day, new possibilities, blah blah blah. No time for more narrations, it was going to be a busy day!

His basic necessities were resolved and his juice was stored, nothing that life could throw his way could shake him up! And then life did just that because she's a petty bitch.

Turns out that the insomniac zombie that was their homeroom teacher had decided to actually do some work, and by that, he meant announcing the elections for the class president and vice president before going back to sleep and letting the gaggle of teenagers sort things out. Seriously, who thought this guy was a good teacher?

The class exploded with noise and energy as expected, everyone wanted to be president of the class for one reason or another. Mainly because it sounded cool to be above other super-powered individuals. Or that's what Mineta guessed, anyway.

But did he want to be class president for real? It would eat a bit of his time, no doubt but he could already imagine the benefits...

His eyes wandered towards Momo, who looked very excited about the prospect of being the class president and improving the class.

Being class president sounded like such a drag, sure, maybe it would give him some crumbs of power but he would have to work for it and that wasn't his style. Maybe he could aim a little lower and still enjoy some benefits but if he was going to be stuck working with someone else, Mineta wanted him to be a hot babe. And what a coincidence, there was one of those just over there and ready to go for the position.

It would be tricky to pull but if he managed to make her president and himself vice president, they could spend some time together...

With his best smile, he moved to her seat. Most of the students have moved out of the room to think and mingle but she was still there working on something.

"People are really excited, huh?"

"And with good reason." Her voice was laced with excitement and he swore there were sparkles in her eyes when she looked up at him. "It's not only a great honor but something to help us in our careers."

"Huh, didn't think about it that way." Some people were really serious about it.

Momo nodded and put on a determined expression. "I'm planning on giving my all!"

It was actually a bit inspiring seeing her being so honest about it, she could end up being a good politician if the whole hero thing didn't work. Now it was time to decide his first move, obviously, if he wanted Momo to be president she needed the most of the votes with him being second. Quite tricky since he didn't know the votes of the rest, but if he could charm enough people...

In a somewhat risky move, the boy grinned and took the plunge. "Can't say I hate you spirit, okay then, you have my vote."

"What?" Was the immediate response from the busty girl, her eyes wide and her hand halfway into writing something on a sheet of paper. "You... will?"

Using his vote to push her closer to victory was logical but also left him with fewer votes for himself, no problem, Mineta was confident in his recently discovered powers of persuasion. Not only that but getting some more goodwill from Momo was always nice in his book.

With a thumbs up and a winning smile, he nodded. "Why wouldn't it? You are smart, capable, and take the position seriously. No one else is more worthy of it than you, and I'm sure the others will agree."

That actually got her to blush a little, was it because of his words or the idea of the rest of the class putting their confidence in her? Failing to hide a smile, she brushed some hair behind her ear.

"Thanks... but aren't votes supposed to be private?"

Mineta blew a raspberry at that. "No one else is here so I say it's private enough."

"Very well." And in an unexpected show of sportsmanship, she offered a hand to him. "I thank you for your support and wish you good luck."

'I don't need luck, I have juice.' Those were his thoughts as he shook the girl's hand.

Out of the classroom, Mineta saw pretty much everyone scattered around, minding their own business. His hand brushed the precious thermos in his bag as he considered his options. He could use it with one of the girls who didn't hate him to pretty much make them vote for whatever he wanted, or he could go after the two haters that remained to gain an advantage against them.

Mineta would be lying if he said Mina hadn't captured his attention from day one, she had the looks of a hot and unique gal combined with that bubbly personality of hers. And yes, those shapely thighs ad fabric-stretching ass played an important role in Mineta's decision to try his juice on her.

The bubblegum girl was looking at her phone idly when Mineta walked closer to her but she put it into her skirt pocket and leveled a look at him.

She spoke before he could. "So, it's my turn already?"

'What!?' His face was pale, all the blood drained out of it. "W-what do you mean?"

Mina crossed her arms under her chest, propping up the respectable mounds some more. "Don't act dumb, I know what you have been doing with the girls."

It was over so soon? He barely got to live his dream and it was done already? Damn girl and her deductive powers and... Wait, was this another Tooru situation?

"Yes, I know you've been apologizing to the girls lately."

For fuck's sake! How many times were these girls about to give him a heart attack? That joke wasn't that funny the first time around! Whatever, if the pink girl was giving him an opportunity to bring it up, Mineta would take it.

"Ah, nothing escapes you, huh?" A somewhat shaky hand rubbed his face free of the cold sweat that had formed on it. "You are totally right, I've come to apologize to you, and in order to do that I bring offerings!"

He shook the thermos full of special liquid in front of her.

"A very exclusive and delicious drink!"

"A drink, huh? I... suppose I'm kinda thirsty." Mina took the recipient off of his hands, not bothering with a glass as she twisted the cap. "But I'm expecting an actual apology and not a bribe, you can't trick me."

Said the tricked girl, chugging down the mind-altering liquid. Mina drank the whole thing with gusto and Mineta was curious if her face could get even pinker, turns out it could. Mina's cheeks were a darker shade of pink that reminded the boy of the color purple.

"Damn, that did taste exclusive and delicious." A wet tongue came out to collect any traces that may have remained on her lips, giving Mineta a bit of a show. Once she was sure nothing else was left, the girl put her hands on those wide hips of hers. "Well? What else you got?"

Hm? Oh, right. At this point, Mineta could separate his thought process entirely from his apology. While his mouth ran through practiced motions, he thought of his next action. Should he make the pink bimbo vote for him or Momo? She probably still hated him so it would be hard to convince her to give him his vote, then again the juice's effects should balance things out. Momo should be easier but he couldn't end up with 0 votes himself!

"Hmmmm, I suppose that'll do." Mineta blinked himself awake from his stupor. He probably finished his apology and stood there like an idiot till Mina spoke. "But I'm not fully convinced this isn't some kind of scheme so don't try to be sly with me."

Still a bit woozy because of the juice, the girl stumbled back before righting herself and started walking off. She turned around a bit fast and Mineta almost took a peek of those peaches she called an ass.

"Actually," he interrupted her walk, raising a hand towards her. "I wanted to talk with you about something else."

Mina did stop, if she did it because of Mineta's juice effects or because she was interested in what he had to say was anyone's guess. She turned around and looked down at the boy with curiosity.

"What could you want to talk about, is not like we have any..." Her special-colored eyes squinted and then widened in awestricken realization. "You aren't trying to run for class president, aren't you? Because I can tell you I'm not-"

"No no no no, nothing like that." Mineta wasn't in the mood to be put down again by some smug bitch so he cut her off with a shake of his head and a torrent of negatives. "I don't want you to vote for me, I want you to vote for Momo."

If this were a cartoon or one of those comedy animes, Mina's jaw would hit the ground with a funny sound to go with it. But this was the real world so her jaw dropped a reasonable amount, it was amusing to Mineta how much more surprised she was to see him trying to help someone else. Such a rotten opinion she had of him! Completely undeserved.

After Mina literally pushed her jaw back in place, she could speak again. "Momo? Why would you want that? You trying to pull something by impressing her or something?"

Mineta had to admit, Mina was smarter than he thought or maybe she was simply very perceptive. Luckily for him, she was shooting in the dark and no matter how close she got to the target, she didn't have any real proof of his schemes.

A gentle shake of his head was all he needed. "I understand your dislike for me but that's not it at all. I was talking with her before and you should have listened to how passionate she was, that girl really cares about the class and wants to do whatever she can to make things better for everyone, and she's smart too. I mean, if you know something better suited for the job, you point them at me and I'll give them my vote."

Maybe Mineta was the one who should go into politics, the boy had a silver tongue and an outstanding acting face. After his little campaign speech was done, Mina's jaw was on the verge of collapsing yet again. He got her, what was she supposed to say to that? Everything Mineta had said was true and trying to argue against it would be like saying Mina didn't trust her friend. Sure, she suspected Mineta but that was irrelevant.

"So? Does she have your vote?"

"I..." Her golden eyes looked to the side, buying time to come up with a proper answer. Eventually, she let out a breath and scratched her cheek. "I'll think about it, you caught me off guard, that's all."

"Trust me, you aren't the first. Have to go now, remember to vote." The boy waved and went on his way.

Those were two votes for Momo and a staggering amount of zero for him, all according to plan, he supposed. But it wasn't enough, he needed more votes.

It was time... for a montage!

...

"Huh? You want my vote? I dunno, I was planning on voting for... huh? Making the desserts at the cafeteria free for the students? W-wow, how generous of you... If you really are so thoughtful... Huh? N-no this isn't drool, just some water I was drinking..."

...

"You want to be class president, kero? That sounds suspicious, don't know what you are planning but I'm not interested... Kero? Pool access you say? Sure, I guess you can come too..."

...

"Sure, I'll vote for you. Yeah, why not? It isn't like I wanted to be president myself, I would freeze if all those people were staring at me. Hey, stop laughing! You know exactly what I meant!"

...

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Mineta, you muppet-sized pervert, you were supposed to let Momo win! But that was only part of his well-crafted plan, she would win but he'd be right behind her to get the position of vice president. Mineta simply made sure he was in a good position before going for the hardest of the voters.

His right eye twitched in ghost pain at the memory of that earphone jack stabbing him in the eye, such a violent and unprovoked act! Still, despite Jirou not having a bombastic figure, she was a girl and Mineta planned to get every girl in his class into his bed. Even if they had a rocky start, he was sure she would come around after a bit of persuasion.

The air stilled, the temperature dropped. She was here.

Jirou's eyes met his with a dangerous glint or maybe it was the light reflected on her dangerous, stabbing implements. She was drinking from a carton of milk but stopped when Mineta approached her aggro zone. He stopped before coming too close, neither of the two made any movement, even when Tooru walked between them like nothing was wrong to go to the bathroom. Her happy whistling was somewhat distracting.

"Jirou..."

"Mineta." The girl's earlobes twitched.

He didn't gain anything stretching this out, he had to start getting on her good side.