Stay in and Relax

“No, I really just want to relax, and I’ll probably end up going to bed early, didn’t get much sleep on the bus.”

They decided to chill and watch a movie. Suzie made popcorn, using it as an excuse to join them, and sit next to Scott. It wasn’t long before she was laying against Scott with her eyes closed.

“Did Suzie fall asleep?” Doug asked as the credits started.

“Yeah, I think she’s been out a while.”

“She sure is in to you now Scott.”

“Yeah, I’m used to her being your kid sister, but she’s not a kid anymore.”

“Yeah.”

“Look man, I’m not trying to cause trouble, if you don’t want me hanging around your sister that’s fine, I’m kind of at a loss how to handle the attention right now.”

“I mean, you are both adults now, I’m not trying to get in the way if you guys want to do stuff.” Doug said the words, but Scott got the feeling that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

“Woah, Doug, I’m not trying to rush into anything, I just want to make sure I don’t cross any lines here, you’re my best friend, I can tell you aren’t comfortable with it.”

“It’s not Suzie I’m upset about. Don’t get me wrong, my friend dating my sister would be weird as hell, but I’m still upset you never contacted us. Your mom, your cousin, Jenn and her dad even, they all came to me asking how you were doing, and I had to tell them I hadn’t heard from you. It sucked.”

“I’m sorry man, I don’t have a good excuse either, I rushed into a relationship trying to move on from home and start my own life, and then, frankly, I was too embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed, of what Scott?”

“She demanded an open relationship, said she couldn’t go without sex while I was away, told me I could do stuff too, and we’d be faithful when I was in town.”

“Damn.”

“I didn’t want that, it felt like cheating on her, I was trying to not be like my dad, I didn’t want that life.”

“You stayed with her though?”

“Yeah, talk about pathetic, I kept telling myself it would be better when we were together, that everything would be fine. Then when she was able to join me in Germany she turned me down, said she couldn’t leave her family. Even though she was in Texas and her family was from Virginia.”

“She had somebody else?”

“She had everybody else. She had me spending every penny on her I had, another guy sending her money and she was fucking everyone at the base.”

“Man, that’s freaking rough. When did you find out.”

Scott laid his head back and sighed.

“The truth. . . I knew. I knew for a long time, I just didn’t want to accept it.”

Doug looked sympathetically at his friend.

“Go ahead and say it Doug.”

“What man, I didn’t say anything.”

“But you’re thinking it, go ahead and say it, it’s true.”

“I’m not saying shit.”

“Okay, I will. I was a chump and she cucked me, and I was too much of a bitch to do anything about it.”

“That’s a little harsh Scott, you clearly cared about her.”

Scott laughed sadly. “I don’t even think I really ever loved her, I just didn’t want to be alone, I wanted someone there when I went home.”

“You have people here man, you always did.”

“Yeah, even though I’m a shitty friend.”

“Cut the shit Scott, you do this every time, you make one mistake and you beat yourself up and act like you are alone and no one will ever care about you again. It’s bullshit and it sucks for everyone, it sucks for you, for me, everyone. So stop it and just say hi to your friends, give us a chance to be there for you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“You’re right Doug.”

“Of course I am.”

“I’ll try to be less of a shitty friend.”

“Good, you can start by coming out with me to the bar tomorrow, it’s Raul’s birthday.”

Scott laughed, he had forgotten about Raul. When Doug was 16 he got a cheap fake ID to buy cigarettes, and his name on it was Raul. It didn’t fool anyone, but they ended up celebrating Raul’s birthday as a joke.

“You still have it?”

“Yeah, somewhere.”

“Awesome, let’s do it.”

“Good, I’m going to get to bed, I have to go on site tomorrow morning, I trust you to get Suzie safely to her room, Scott.” The threat was palpable.

“Scout’s Honor Doug.”

“I’m serious. And one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Call your family tomorrow.”

Scott just snorted.