Sonja, a closeted transwoman

Sonja stared at the doctor in disbelief. "Of course I've heard of Hideki tech, but they make, like... phones and game consoles and stuff. You're saying they've made something that lets you literally be someone else?"

Dr. Evans nodded, with a soft smile. "I'm not making it up, I assure you the technology is safe and effective. Re-Vital has been working in cooperation with Hideki Tech for some time to perfect these devices for those who are unsure or unable to undergo traditional transition. These V6 headsets are really bleeding-edge. Honestly, it's rather amazing that so few people know about the Hideki Ascend devices, they've existed for years now. I guess people are too focused on the next game they'll be making for the Snap console or whatever..."

The doctor shrugged, as Sonja pondered. Sonja started coming to Re-Vital six months ago, to talk about options for transitioning from her assigned gender at birth, as a male, to what she felt better aligned with her true self. She'd known since she was young that something was off about her, but her father wanted a son, under the notion that they would do father-son activities together. Sonja knew it was absurd, she didn't need to be a boy to go fishing or camping or anything else, but that was so ingrained in her father's mind that there never seemed to be any hope of transitioning at a younger age. That fact had caused a lot of pain and sadness that she kept hidden from others save for her closest friends, who claimed to understand but never helped her find the courage to stand up and say to her parents who she really was.

She kept her feelings inside from elementary school all the way through college, then into her first major job. For her, the trouble was that she could manage the 'maleness' in conjunction with her various hangups about transition. She did the activities she would've done regardless of how she was born--she loved to sail and kayak in the bay near where she grew up, knowing it didn't matter who she was when she was paddling and enjoying nature, but she was still certain she could've enjoyed it more had she been her ideal self.

The hangups, though... they were numerous, and they persisted to the present day with her. Transition was expensive, lengthy, there were dangers associated with some of the steps and she would have to maintain certain physical standards to be allowed to continue on hormones or to surgically transition. She wasn't certain that she could be comfortable after transition, like her body was beyond hope... too big, too tall, too many tell-tale signs that Sonja was convinced people would always notice, and always know. If she couldn't fully pass, then there would always be people who would be unkind to her, ignore her, insult her. Ties with her family, her job were in jeopardy if she transitioned and people didn't like what they saw... All of it came together to weigh heavily against her transitioning, it was just easier to walk through life as she had been and then dream of something else every night.

A friend mentioned Re-Vital to her online in one of her social media circles where she openly presented herself as Sonja with others going through the same difficulties. They'd only been open for about a year, but their mission statement was to find innovative solutions for the complex situations people encountered when they wanted to medically transition, but for some reason couldn't. Re-Vital's ultimate goal is to find ways in the future to provide a full genetic transition in partnership with Hideki Corp, but these other projects funded that research for now.

Dr. Evans opened up her drawer, and pulled out a blank black mask, setting it on the table. "This is the Ascend V6. It's lightweight, it's mostly undetectable to those who aren't looking for it, it's non-invasive. It doesn't look like much, but when this receiver is on a body, it can be made to look like nearly any face and line up with the host face enough to provide a seamless appearance. After going over your profile, I think this may be the best approach for your particular circumstances, at least for now. If the results are positive, we could turn a short-term trial into a longer-term one, or further explore other Re-Vital methods for transition, even. We seem to be offering some new procedure or trial every week, lately."

Sonja still couldn't believe that this thing that looked like little more than a visor removed from a motorcycle helmet could do everything that was described. It felt so light when she picked it up. This simple mask weighed heavy with its promise of being a doorway to a whole new life, though, and she set it down after a while. "What do we do with Ascend gear, then?"

"Glad you asked," Dr. Evans said, as she stood up to draw on a whiteboard near her office desk. "We have a few approaches that I think you'll be able to adapt to easily. I know you'd been coming here for the virtual trials which seems to have helped, this is a big leap beyond anything like that however." The doctor was referring to the VR therapy Re-Vital had set up for patients to try and get a sense of being someone else. It was a cute escape, but the VR sessions featured cartoonish avatars or uncanny valley renders, and only provided a decent but limited visual experience. Even when using the VR modules, Sonja always heard her male voice speaking, and the weight upon her head, when looking around and down at her virtual self. It felt like another half-measure in transition--it was never satisfying enough to do what Sonja wanted.

The Ascend, though... it sounded like immersion, it sounded like freedom. Being able to go out on her boat, curl up on the couch with a partner, roam the mall, with all the senses and no wires to bother with! Everything sounded too incredible. Too unbelievable, to think that they were going from low-poly VR to full body control.

But, Sonja knew, it wouldn't hurt to try. If it's non-invasive, there's no lasting effects if she changes her mind.

Clearing her throat, the doctor waited for Sonja to snap out of her train of thought and focus back on the board. "The first option is that we have a variety of men and women at Re-Vital that we call Guides. You would wear the transmitter helmet, they would wear a receiver, and the Guides would walk you through a one-week immersive trial of being in the biological body of your choosing. Naturally, the technology lets you be anyone, but if you're hoping to use this experience as a means of decision-making for your own transition, we would pair you up with someone with a body who might best represent the kind of experience you could expect based on a Re-Vital physical transition process." Dr. Evans illustrated her point with a stick figure pointing to another stick figure. The diagrams were crude, but Sonja had a picture in her head.

"A constant takeover for a whole week?" Sonja said, nervously. "Like, a full 24/7 experience?"

"That's right," Dr. Evans said. "That's a full week, and intentionally we don't allow patients to stop that trial except for medical reasons, because it's meant to highlight the idea of permanence after your transition. But, there's a lot of complications there, since for safety purposes you are assuming a certain identity that whole week and can't tell others who you really are, not even your best friends if you encounter them. For something that maybe has a little less commitment but could still provide a positive experience, we could pair you up with someone else who wants to transition, and you both wear receiver masks in a tethered mode for maybe a couple hours a day, so your brain signals are switched between the two bodies. We have a variety of people, from those who are thinking about transition to those who are merely curious, who could pair with you. There's some complications with this mode, but for some it's effective."

Sonja blinked, while Dr. Evans drew another stick figure, showing arrows pointing between the two. The diagrams weren't as helpful as the doctor might have hoped. "What complications? Like, glitches and stuff?"

"The connections are fine. The problem is that the body and mind are interconnected such that chemicals and hormones that influence one mind are specific to that body. Let's say person A is afraid of spiders, they see one, and it triggers a fear response in their original body. Now person B feels fearful for no discernable reason, since their sensory information is coming from person A's body, while person A's mind doesn't feel anything because B's body has no response. Sometimes that's not an issue, but often we're finding that by linking up emotions in a sort of sympathetic connection, so both bodies share emotions and can stay in contact. Kind of like a psychic link. Usually those programs run for a month or longer, with the paired people spending about a week in each others' company before going their own ways."

Sonja nodded, thinking about those complications. "But in that case do we have to pretend to be this other person?"

"Not at all," Dr. Evans said. "We can customize faces and such on these devices so you could see a version of you on the other body, to really immerse yourself in the idea that you are fully this other person. Because there's no long-term commitment, it's less critical to have Re-Vital create a custom identity, though for things where you need to show ID you'll likely need to temporarily revert face profiles and such. But we've had some real successes with this program, one of our pairs have been tethered with each other like that for nearly half a day, every day for over a year now--and from what I understand, they're even marrying each other next month. For some, that's enough for their happiness, but these are meant to be therapies or exploratory techniques to understand what's best for you. We have other options as well, utilizing the Ascend headgear, or we can customize a scenario just for you. Engineers are also working on making the Ascend tech compatible with the virtual reality spaces too, for a better immersive experience without needing another body."

It was all so much! The possibilities swirled through Sonja's mind, unsure if she was ready to assume a whole new identity for a week or deal with these sort of sympathetic connections. But wasn't that the dream, to just wake up and be someone new, for better or worse?

Sonja looked down at her lap, at her hands. Those hands were male, she couldn't see the Y chromosome in them but their size, their shape, everything reminded her of the fact that her body was not aligned to her mind. Everyone else who saw those hands would likely agree that they were not meant for her, that head to toe, her body and mind were mismatched. This tech could give her the opportunity to know, once and for all, if she should take the leap and transition, knowing what sort of life she could possibly lead.

"...I'll do it," Sonja finally said, looking up with a smile at the doctor.

"Great, just tell me which procedure interests you the most, and then we can start figuring out candidates to pair you up with."