Something truly scary

Cerve : "So... how does a game night sound?"

Alexis : "Oh, that'd be fu-"

You catch yourself, realizing what that must entail.

Alexis : "But my friends... don't know.... about...."

Cerve : "They're going to find out eventually honey."

Alexis : "But how..."

You're feeling intense whiplash. A moment ago you thought you'd overcome all your previous hang ups and committed to living this new authentic life. Why was it easy to be Alexis when it involved servicing anonymous men but hanging out with your oldest friends as her sounded impossible?

Cerve : "We can host it, I can help you explain. I've looked into your friends, they will accept you, you know they will."

You think she's right, but why doesn't that seem to make a difference? You keep imagining them seeing you as you are now and wanting to hide under the covers and never come out. Those were Alex's friends. This whole time you had managed to maintain a mental separation between the real world and this Alexis world. As permanent as the changes you were making were in a sense they weren't real to you yet. You were living in the moment, barely thinking about the future. But when you think about reconciling Alexis with your past it all comes crashing down. This can't actually be real, this is a fantasy and as soon as your friends see you the fantasy will collapse. You'll be a grown man in a woman costume.

Seeing you spiraling Cerve pulls you in for a hug.

Cerve : "It's ok, I thought you were ready but we can wait until you're more comfortable."

Was there ever going to be a better time? No, you had already committed and there was no going back now.

Alexis : "no, you're right... It's just I'm scared. How could they understand? I barely understand..."

Cerve : "you don't have to explain everything to them. Just tell them that you're Alexis now. The same person they've always known but in a cute new form factor."