Something About You

John didn't have Orria here with him to find Vallya's precise location, but it still didn't take very long to find the blonde foxgirl. He knew that she would be looking out for anyone approaching, so all he really needed to do was make himself obvious. That was as simple as setting himself down at the edge of the forest and strolling into it as conspicuously as he could – he trusted Vallya to handle the rest. And true to his expectations, John had hardly made it a hundred steps when a walking bundle of pink fabric and golden hair peeked out from behind one of the trees.

"You looking for little old me?" Vallya asked, striking a slight pose and biting one of her fingers playfully. It was almost the way she used to sound... almost. He knew her well enough to see the slight hesitation, though – the uncertainty, and the acknowledgment that he very likely was looking for her, and perhaps not for pleasant reasons.

"I am. And it's good to see you," John confirmed, giving a friendly nod as he tried to dispel some of her anxiety. "The others have told me about their visits. They say you're doing well at keeping things under control. And that you're back to your old self."

"Then they're nicer in their reports than they were while they were visiting me," Vallya replied immediately, giving a giggle that rang as ****. "Sophia came mostly to lecture me, though I think she was just handling her shock that a 'nestmate' could turn on her own flock like that. The others mostly just asked different versions of 'why?' or stared at me while the others handled the talking."

"They're just concerned. But they care about you, don't forget that."

"I suppose so. If they haven't been complaining about me, though, what brings you here today?"

“I told you I was going to be stopping by more often, didn’t I?” John said, smirking only a moment before he continued. “But you’re not wrong – there is another reason for this visit. I’m working with Kim and Moira to set up a week-long training marathon. One big push to get ready before the war starts in earnest. Twenty-four seven dungeons, non-stop until the week is over, minus healing breaks.”

“Now that sounds like a good time,” Vallya purred, smirking widely at him. “A week straight, though? No sleep or anything? Really knuckling down to take training a little more seriously there, John.”

“Yeah. A lot more seriously. Moira is already making preparations – I assume we can have some of the Order Knights handle healing so we don’t have to conserve our mana as much, which should help us go for as long as possible. But I’m the only one with an immunity to natural fatigue. Everyone else still needs sleep and rest – I’m going to need as many people as possible if I’m going to make the most of that time.”

“So you came to see if you can trust me to tag along?”

John gave a genuine but somewhat sad smirk. “Yeah. I won’t sugarcoat it – that’s why I’m here. But I also want to be clear that I really meant what I said last time! I’m not expecting you to trip up today. I’m going to push you a little, but I expect you to pass any challenge I throw at you with flying colors. I would just use the training marathon as your test, but on the off chance something does happen, I don’t want to have to explain all of this to Moira. I haven’t mentioned the incident with you and Magnus to anyone outside of this world yet.”

“Well, of course you haven’t. You do love your secrets. The Warden might not read you as well as I do, but you’ve revealed them eventually all the same,” Vallya said, a smirk blossoming on her lips – one that flinched slightly when she realized how she’d just spoken to him.

“Hn.” John let the challenging grunt hang in the air for a moment before he responded properly, quirking an eyebrow at the Kitsune while the silence still reigned. “If I had another choice, I’d take it in an instant. Secrets are an opioid – we numb ourselves with them when the pain of the truth runs too deeply. And the longer we hold onto them, the harder they are to rid ourselves of. I can’t give Moira any reason to doubt us, not when I’ve talked her into risking everything. Otherwise, believe me, I would love to be free of these secrets.”

“Oh?” Vallya asked, leaning forward so far that her feet left the ground, hovering lazily toward John through the air. “Mmm, if that’s true, perhaps it’s time for an intervention? I could help you relieve yourself of some of those burdens.”

“This is your intervention, not mine,” John replied, his voice so low it dragged across his shirt as the words fell from his lips.

“Fair, but turnabout is fair play. If secrets are really so toxic, let me cure you of them. You’ve still never explained why you guard your menus so much more than you used to. Or why you were so angry when I walked in on you in your room after-”

“Enough.”

John’s heartbeat pounded in his head as he glared at Vallya, anger rising, his Shard pulsing in his chest as he met her irreverent gaze.

“This wasn’t even meant as a test,” John began, letting his lips linger on the words, grimacing at her coy and slightly hurt expression. “But you’re close to failing all the same. Is this prying the real you? Or some drive to torment me by digging at old wounds?”

“Wounds are only old if they’ve stopped bleeding. Have you been digging around yourself, John?”

John’s mouth was twisted halfway open in a retort when Vallya hastily continued. Her piercing eyes shifted as she spoke, losing their sharpness and quickly becoming overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what- You were wrong, you were so wrong.” Vallya’s voice trembled as she spoke, her eyes flickering wildly across the clearing, fingers covering her mouth and her ears flattening themselves against her head. “I don’t understand why I said that. I’m not ready for this! I thought I was; I’ve spent so much time training, fought so many monsters, and never felt even a little bit of glee at their pain. But as soon as you show up and a stupid, hurtful thought wanders its way across my mind, I just… I can’t keep it in!”

Vallya was shaking, her hands trembling as she spoke. She clutched her fingers over her mouth, looking so disgusted with herself she appeared ready to vomit, and tears began to stream from the corners of her eyes.

“You don’t deserve any of this, John. Everyone has secrets, I don’t care if you don’t tell me every little thing you do! I don’t even know why I said that, I haven’t thought about any of it in months, and I was fine until you showed up! I-I hate that I’m like this. I’m a Star Guardian, damn it! I think about protecting you, protecting this world, and it’s like my heart could fly right out of my chest. But it’s like the moment that I think someone has done something wrong, I just can’t let it go. Even when I know it’s going to feel stupid to be so vindictive about it as soon as it passes!”

John frowned, but the sight of Vallya as she was now – shaking and crying, her eyes wide and fearful, her ears pressed down against her head and her tails tucked despairingly underneath her body – was enough to dull the edge of his anger.

“I think I understand. A little,” he said, his voice soft. “Jiina is the embodiment of retribution. By her own words, that’s all she is – or at least all she used to be. Whatever piece of you is in her, it doesn’t care how much you like someone, or how important they are to you. It just wants to make people suffer for what they did. And it enjoys the hell out of it.”

“I don’t want to be like that,” Vallya said, her words as much a plea as they were a vow.

“I know. But sitting here isn’t going to change that. So get up, we’re going to start training.”

“Wh-” Vallya did a double take, staring at John with wide, incredulous eyes. “I just told you I’m not safe to be around. You said it yourself – this wasn't even supposed to be part of the test, and I already managed to fail. Why would you want me anywhere near you?”

“I was never worried about you being around me. I can handle myself," John replied without hesitation, gesturing for Vallya to stand up and join him. "I'm not letting you back into the house yet, not with the kittens around. But I'm not going to call it quits for the day over some harsh words either. I never said this would be easy, Vallya. This wasn't your first slip-up, and it won't be the last. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you."

Vallya stared at John silently for a time before she nodded slowly and rose from where she sat among the leaves.

“Alright,” she said quietly as she got up from her crouch on the ground below him. “I'll... try to be more on guard. To do better. I'm ready when you are.”

“Good,” John replied simply. He paused for just a second longer before he spoke again, "We're starting now."

John's menus flickered open as he created a Dungeon Barrier for them. Vallya's eyes traced over them knowingly, and John didn't miss the instant of movement, the flicker as her jaw twitched with unspoken words. But Vallya remained silent, and the only sound that rang out was the slight hum of a Barrier forming around them.

"Try hard for me, Vallya. The real test starts now."

Tricia's eyes trawled the information pouring across the display, her gaze level but alert. Before her was a list of every connection that had been passed through her secured system and been transferred on to John's world via her drones. The outgoing communications were also nearby, but were much less concerning to the analyzing eyes of the young Gorbachev. She trusted the outgoing data enough to leave it to several layers of anti-viruses and automated data analysis. The incoming, however, was something she preferred to take a personal hand in.

Thankfully, John's use of the system had been fairly minimal, so manually checking over the data wasn't a Sisyphean task, at least not thus far. A handful of text messages and a few web browsing sessions, plus one lone, likely nostalgic session of Globe of Fightercraft. The text messages were easy enough to obtain by cloning John's phone and its identification signal, both the mundane and Abyssal ones, which allowed her to display them on a screen for one of her drones to visually inspect and manually transcribe, ensuring there was no chance of tampered data making it through. The rest of the information was more difficult to secure in a timely fashion while still being usable to John, which was partially why she insisted on checking the logs herself.

"Nothing too unusual," Tricia thought as she matched each incoming connection to the outgoing one that had triggered it. "Although, judging by the spelling on these web requests, John must have given his children permission to use his computer."

The number of poorly spelled searches for things like "cool ways to punch someone" were amusing enough, but even Tricia had trouble stifling an exasperated giggle when she saw the series of searches comprised mostly of sentences like "magic box man, will you play with us". Somehow, that had actually led them to several online game sites, so at least they had been entertained.

"Oh? But these aren't the kittens."

The logs showed someone was on the computer right now, and they were not only more mature in their grammar, but in their browsing habits as well. A half-dozen searches had resulted in a browsing session on various cosplay sites that was over an hour long and still ongoing.

"Maid outfits? A very particular style, too. What exactly prompted this? Is this John, or one of his creations? Whoever it is, they're clearly learning a lot about maid fetishes. Either they have one, or they think John does." Tricia stood still for a moment, her eyes wandering down to her own figure. The bodysuit that she wore was quite adaptive, and built to mimic mundane clothing when necessary, if she had the proper fabrics on hand...

With a snap of her fingers, Tricia called over two drones. The two of them hovered on either side of her and projected a holographic skirt and apron over the top of her bodysuit. The false cloth swayed and twirled realistically as Tricia inspected herself through the camera feed of a third drone. A genuine smile touched her face as she started to consider gathering the cloth to create one herself. She could imagine John walking into the lab one day to find her in such an outfit. Was he really interested in that sort of thing? Would he be unable to take his eyes off her? Maybe if she pretended to be busy with an experiment, acting like nothing was different than normal, and made a point of bending over as much as possible...

Tricia visibly winced as an uncomfortable twitching sensation manifested on her forearm. Looking down confirmed what she already suspected – a bright pink iris was staring back at her, an eye having formed and split her suit apart to reveal itself.

"Of all the eyes that I've opened because of that boy, you are the most annoying," Tricia growled, feeling her legs start to quiver as a heat filled her core. Thankfully, her suit had already begun to beep furiously as it worked to inject her and amplify its magical suppression enough to subdue the eye. She stared right back at the glistening pink iris until it winked away at last, her annoyance - and the heat between her thighs - fading into a familiar numbness.

"Well.... a nice fantasy. But I have more important things to do than daydream."

Tricia turned her mind back to her work... though not before copying a few of the more interesting links over and saving them on a private list.