Sole Casanova

Caleb had not been present when the girls had originally visited the Asterium, so he really had their descriptions of what to expect. Not that that was much to go off of; a cross between a planetarium and a teleporter didn't exactly narrow things down. Like he could be told that a feeblmeetz was a cross between a chicken and a dog, but trying to conjure an image of what that was would yield only as much success as his imagination and the space between those two creatures allowed.

As the marble domed structure came into view over the horizon, the master’s hands twisted around the umbrella in his grasp. Why was she hiding there of all places? As the sun crested westward and the sky began to change hues, Caleb felt a startling amount of sadness that his day had been spent searching for Stella rather than being with her.

He wasn’t coldhearted or ignorant. He had spent close to a month with these women; for all the ups and downs, it would be ridiculous for him not to grow attached. Still, more of his time had been spent thinking about his own navigation of the situation they were stuck in, trying to make people happy, trying not to hurt people. He rarely stopped to think about how much he cared about the girls on an individual level, even if he knew enough to answer Andrea’s questions. Didn’t stop them from having sex, though, did it?

Caleb sighed and folded in to himself, “I’m such a piece of shit.”

The Faundolier rolled their eyes as the gondola came to a stop at the dock, lurching to a stop against the craggy side of the island.

Caleb rose to his feet and sighed, “Stella would tell me to stop worrying so much and to just have fun.” The faundolier enthusiastically nodded, and Caleb clicked his tongue, “But Stella also went off without a word, so…” He pulled his umbrella up and started to make his way towards the large structure that took up the island, its marble dome marking a break in the clouds above, almost as if it was parting them.

Examining the details of the structure, it looked out of place compared to the Venetian architecture elsewhere on display. Even the coliseum, which it had the most passing resemblance to, didn’t match its design sensibilities.

“A Stupa-that’s what it reminds me of.” Caleb remarked to himself, closing in on the door, “You know if they were huge and made of marble.”

He pressed his hand on the door and pulled, not knowing exactly what he expected to find, but as the door opened and he gained a view inside, his mind paused just to take it all in.

The light from the outside barely penetrated into the interior, giving way to preternatural darkness that still managed to be visible to the eye and was reflected by the thin pool of water that covered the entire floor. Then, as Caleb’s eyes adjusted, he realized it wasn’t just darkness, but a swirling multipattern of the cosmos, starlight, nebulae, and swirling clouds of dust giving life to the vast sea of darkness. The only areas not covered in this inky representation of space were the waist-high walls dividing the space into equal quadrants and the small dais that stood at the center of the room.

The splash of the disrupted movement of the water was the only sound as he made his way to the interior, the heavy door closing behind him. He kept moving, his eyes scouring the empty yet beautiful landscape of the Asterium until he spotted her. There at the far end of the room, lying in the water motionless, her shirt slightly open and eyes adrift, was Stella.

Feeling his heart lurch in his chest, Caleb began to run, sending waves of water behind him. “Stella! Stella!” Was she hurt? Was she even conscious? His heart froze until her eyes slowly moved independently of her head to gaze over at him. Her lips parted as if in surprise before pinching shut again as he approached

She turned her head away and then spoke up from the ground, “How’d you find me, detective?” Her tone was playful, light, but Caleb could hear the effort straining at the edges.

He tried to let his face and body relax, sinking down into the water next to her, sitting by her back. The water was body temperature; only the creeping feeling of wetness made him aware that he was in liquid at all. “Andrea exchanged information on your location in exchange for me getting naked in a hot tub with her.” He quipped, trying to match Stella’s own usual irreverent tone.

A snort rose, and Stella slid to her side to face Caleb, an uneasy smile on her face. “Better watch it, bucko; ol Lucy will think you’re trying to fuck his hot not mom. And that’s what HE wants to do.”

Caleb leaned back to lean into the water and match Stella’s position. “Hey, name a more iconic pair than Lucian and his mommy issues.”

“You and your crippling need for control.” Stella stuck out her tongue.

Caleb clutched his heart. “Oh no! I think I’m having a panic attack!”

“Call the presses, the sensitive white boy is anxious! If only he had an island of hot women to satisfy his every need, boohoo.” Stella smirked, though the smile didn’t quite meet her eyes.

Caleb let the silence hang for a second before speaking up again, “You want to talk about any of this?”

Stella scoffed and rolled back onto her back. “Caleb, if I wanted to talk about shit, would I have spent all day hiding? You didn’t need to come looking, by the way. Coulda spent it hanging with Bimbo Amy; my imp woulda made sure you had a fun time.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that would have been great; the problem is it involves ignoring you literally going missing without telling anyone, on an island with a demon that loves fucking with us.” Caleb said flatly.

“Fucking hell,” Stella clicked her tongue, “Why won’t you people just let me rot?”

“Yeah, Amy told us what you argued about-”

“Surprised she could string that many words together.” Stella interrupted

Ignoring her, Caleb kept pushing, “You honestly think no one cares about you?”

Caleb expected an outburst or a quip instead; there was silence followed by a hollow, “Why should they?”

“What?” Caleb wanted to be sympathetic; obviously this was really affecting Stella, but it was hard to keep the incredulity out of his voice.

Stella looked down towards her feet. “Ever since I was a little, I felt something was…wrong with me. Sure, the ADHD didn’t help, but like it wasn’t just that-” She reached up and clutched the exposed skin on her chest. “Something isn’t right; something that is supposed to be in there just isn’t.”

Frowning, Caleb turned onto his side to face Stella as she spoke. “What do you mean?”

“Kids are supposed to be full of wonder and shit; I never was. I was this dejected little thing that didn’t want to do anything because it didn’t matter. My parents joked about that shit once I started acting out at school, that I finally found my ‘spark’ or some shit. I just realized-I needed to feel something. Anything.” She looked up, “My brain moves a mile a minute, and every other thought is that it's bored and nothing will make it better. Books are great for that shit, absorbs them like a sponge, but…”

Caleb reached out with a hand. “How long have you felt that way?”

Stella flicked his hand away with her own. “As I said, I’m talking. I can’t remember not feeling this way. Then in college…it was such a nothing lecture I saw a picture of space…just this sort of thing.” She gestured at the darkness around them. “I realized that it wasn’t just a feeling. It was a fact: I didn’t fucking matter. I couldn’t impact all that shit, and those moments where I felt anything? Didn’t matter what it was, were all I was ever gonna get.”

Caleb stared, and Stella kept talking, “Tried to tell my parents, but they just kept talking about counseling and taking a year off, and not understanding this isn’t just something wrong with me. It is me!” She flailed her one arm, sending black liquid flying, “I’m nothing! I’m not ever going to matter! It’s all meaningless!”

Her face filled with rage, and Caleb could see tears in her eyes as she jabbed a finger into his sternum. “Then you start acting as if you care; everyone here- you all act like I don’t know how this is going to go. No one wants me around, you’re stuck with me, and the moment you find a way to be conveniently rid of me you’ll take it.”

A self-satisfied smile crossed her face, manic in its conviction. Seeing Caleb’s look of concern, “Yeah! That’s right, this is who I am! Fuck you! Not the quiet girl in the bookstore, not some devil may care manic pixie dream girl. This. Is. Me. No one wants this! Why would they? I don’t! So stop fucking pretending- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

The reason the imp screamed was that Caleb had reached out and pulled her against him, holding her close even as she began to thrash her thin limbs against his muscular frame. “Who the fuck are you fooling?! You don’t care! You don’t love me! You’re never going to love me most for damn sure, so just fucking let me go fuck off; maybe my exit transformation will make me a decent sex toy!”

Caleb just held her steady. “You are so much work, all of you.” Caleb gave a mix between a chuckle and an exasperated scoff. “When picking out a harem, not a one of you could be a simple, easy girl. But you all are people…and you know what I like? You all. I like you, Stella.”

“Oh, my god. Weren’t you listening? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t fucking matter!” She hammered at Caleb's chest as tears filled her eyes

“You said you couldn’t affect any of that stuff in space; well, look right now.” Caleb’s hand gently forced Stella to look at the ripples in the water caused by her flailing, how the objects in space rippled with every movement she made.

Stella’s eyebrows shot up, and she stared at Caleb in disbelief. “Are you trying to cure my depression with a fucking metaphor?”

“No, you dingus! I’m trying to tell you that you have an impact! It matters! Maybe it doesn't touch those big things like stars and nebulae or whatever, but look at the water. You’re doing that, and that's everything you do, Stella. Because I’ve seen the way you behave, and believe me, it does not have a small impact on others.”

The master saw the mix of annoyance and conflict in her eyes and kept going, “I’m not saying feel better or anything like that…I’d like to help in any way I can but…You matter. You matter to me. What does love the most mean anyway? Whatever relationship I have with you is something I’m not going to get from anyone else. I want that, ok? I want you.”

There was a moment where Stella’s eyes flicked down before flicking back to meet Caleb’s eyes. “If you ever try to get rid of me now….I reserve the right to burn down your house and everything in it.”

“What if I’m in it?” Caleb asked.

“I said what I said.” Stella pushed her face against Caleb’s chest.

“What if the other girls are in it?” Caleb followed up.

“I’ll give them a head start,” Stella said flatly.

Caleb held her there quietly; he could feel her heartbeat against his chest and could feel, despite the cool demeanor that she was trying to put on now, how fast her heart was going against his. He reached out and gently stroked down her spine, stopping just above where her wings sprouted from her back.

Slowly sitting up and pulling Stella up with him, he looked down at the imp in his arms and asked, “Are you ready to head back now?”

Stella shrugged and gently pulled away. “I don’t know-I-” she paused, “Like thank you for all that, and I feel…” She blushed. “Happy you feel the way you do, but I need to make this clear. This changes nothing. I'm not fixed, ok? A few minutes are going to go by, and I’m gonna go back to being a sensory-seeking malcontent. You didn’t tame me or make me a good girl or some shit.”

“The thought of taming you exhausts me.” Caleb gave a fake yawn and received a punch to the arm.

“I’m just saying…” Stella sighed, “I’m not gonna pretend to be anything other than what I am, ok? Not for you or anyone. I’ll just…try to keep in mind maybe…others don’t see it the same way I do. If you can accept that…maybe I can go back.”

Caleb moved to stand up and then extended his arm to Stella, “Stella, I don’t want you to try and be anything else. We’ll make it work.”

Stella shot him a skeptical look but took the master’s hand and stood up. “Remember, I’ll burn it down.”

“I got it memorized, don’t worry.” Caleb just smiled back at the imp. “We still got some day left of your date; anything that you want to do?”

“I know after everything I just said, this probably sounds weird but…I’d like to just have a drink with whatever other people are around. And maybe…something for later if that's ok?” She batted her eyelashes at Caleb

Caleb shook his head but smiled, “We can do whatever you like. I think after a day of existential dread, maybe you’ve earned it.”

“Hah! A day, he says. My life is existential dread, Caleb, and you just said you liked it!” She skipped forward towards the door and turned around, leaning forward with a big smile, “No backing out now!” Her tail flicked from side to side

Caleb just smiled and followed after her to leave the Asterium and the universe behind.