So far so good...

It's true. It doesn't matter how you fall. And you do fall. Again and again and again. Sometimes you fall so fast you mistake it for flying. Sometimes it's so slow you don't realise it's happened until you hit the ground. It's the landing that counts, and you get pretty good at landing on your feet. What matters even more than how you land, is how you pick yourself off afterwards.

You graduate with a ghastly GPA in the old gymnasium attended by a skeleton crew of faculty and the fuck up getting their diplomas. In attendance is your sister, her **** who has enslaved her heart, your perplexingly proud parents, and Cindi, the girl that broke your heart and helped you discover you had one in the first place. It's a fitting ending...a beautiful beginning...a muddled middle. It all depends on where you start the story.

That's the best part. The story starts anew everytime you choose to be a part of the human race again. That's the hardest step, and it's the one that matters most. Will it be a step up? Sure you have big plans for college and beyond, maybe you will even capture the heart of the love of your life. Then again, maybe you'll step off another cliff and go plummeting down. The higher you climb, the further the fall, but you can always start a new story when you are ready to take another brave, bold baby step.

Maybe you and Cindi will hit it off over dinner and drinks. Maybe you are both ready to love again. Maybe you'll just be best of friends instead, or even war buddies with the shrapnel to prove it. Maybe you will look up Vanessa and pick up where you never got a chance to get started. Maybe you'll end up with some stupid stud just smart enough to love you. Maybe you will fuck it all up and hurt those you love the most. That's the thing about maybes...they cut both waybes.

But you are done watching from the sidelines. Life isn't a spectator sport and you're ready to root for yourself for once. You've already done the hardest part, you've decided to try to be human. The good news is it never gets easier. It will always be a struggle to love and be loved and it can be a nightmare just to stand out in the sun. That's what makes it beautiful. Like a rose in a snowstorm, you don't stand a chance. But the next you, the one digging roots deeper and planting seeds, surely they'll survive the frost, right? The bad news is one day you won't. One day all your struggles will be in vain and you'll do the last thing...dying alone just like everyone else that ever lived.

Everyone dies alone...and that is beautiful. Living is the one thing we all get to do together. And you want to live. Live loudly, bravely, stupidly...as long as it's honest and loving you will feel like you've accomplished the impossible. That's almost scary. Walking across a basketball court to get a meaningless diploma is more than you ever expected to achieve. You never expected a future or even a now. You were waiting, wilting, wanting your life to start and worried, woeful, wishing it would just end.

Now you are taking one step after another forward. So far so good...maybe you are already falling again. So far so good...maybe you are falling in love again. So far so good...maybe you are falling for another trick, but it doesn't matter how you fall. It matters how you land, and you are getting pretty good at landing on your feet.

You see Cindi smiling in the crowd. It's a smile you haven't seen before. That's another benefit of sticking around and standing back up...you never know what will change the next time around. You remember confessing to Cindi on your first date that you still love reading Choose Your Own Adventure books. You haven't read one in ages, but that's because you've lived it.

You smile, wishing you had thought of this on the phone, because it's way too corny to say in person. Everyday we get to choose our own adventure. And today, you choose to keep moving forward. What the Hell, you might as well tell her that in person anyway. It's not like it's the most embarrassing thing you've shared with her. Your smile grows wider as you wonder if you will ever top your greatest hits. You grin ear to ear trying to imagine what you would tell your hypothetical grandchildren if they asked how you and she met. You burst out laughing by the time you get to her and your family. She asks what's so funny. You ask...