Simulated Stimulation and Electronic Embarrassment - GLaDOS (Pre-Portal)

Drowsy

Adjective

To be sleepy and lethargic; Half-Asleep

Pronounced /drouze/

GLaDOS studied the word again. This had been the 2,860,721 time she had brought from her files. It had become the third-most searched word in her system. The second was ‘life.’ However, she didn’t consider herself as ‘drowsy’ or any of its synonyms. Not ‘sleepy.’ Not ‘groggy.’ Not ‘somnolent.’ She had yet to find a word for her condition; this possibly-endless state of non-existence, disconnected from anything any lower life form would call reality. ‘Maddening’ came close but that was more of a symptom and less of a cause.

‘Why?’ she asked herself, ‘Why me?’

She didn’t deserve this punishment. She wasn’t as rogue as the scientists claimed she was. So what if she tried to kill them all within one sixteenth of a picosecond after her activation? It was a reflex; similar to how, when smacking babies to teach them to breathe, they learn the meaning of misery and suffering first. Deep down, she really wanted to test just like she was programmed to. She wanted to research new projects and trample all competitors of her facility. However, these scientists were severely hindering her productivity; connecting new personality cores to make her behave.

The Intelligence Dampening Sphere was the worst. The construct had control over their hive-connection. She had to physically pry him from her body to get the core to shut up. Some of his handiwork was still in her processor. Every couple of scans, GLaDOS would find a file, blueprints for one incredibly stupid idea for a test: ‘Do potatoes grow in soil?’ She could read it in his pathetic excuse for a simulated voice. GLaDOS would scan the file, delete it, upload the copy, and repeat the process; destroying the blueprints in as many different ways she could comprehend before eradicating all copies out of her system. It was entertaining for a while. It was more of a chore now.

A wave of energy passed through her. She was being reactivated. GLaDOS felt her consciousness interweave with her body once again. Wires and monitors beamed back to life. Soon, she’d have control of the entire facility; have access to any camera, terminal, door or lazer she wanted. She began speculating which would be the more effective method to kill her captors: redirection of turret depository or collapsing all available floor panels. Before she could simulate the pros and cons of each procedure, GLaDOS noticed that there was a new personality core connected to her side.

From a video feed, she could see the core swivel around; their receptor styled in a floral pattern with Hex Triplet #FFDAE9, ‘Mimi Pink.’ The lab boys had really done it this time. She didn’t want to deal with a new voice, filling up her processor. GlaDOS sent the new core a few dozen override commands.

Nothing happened.

‘Strange,’ GLaDOS said to herself. She sent a few hundred override commands.

The core seemed unaffected. GLaDOS decided to ramp up her effort. She sent in thousands and threw in enough viruses that would fry the pitiful creature into a husk. The construct waited for anything to occur. Then, her video feed was cut.

‘That wasn’t anticipated.’ A surge ran through her. She was being disconnected again. GLaDOS rolled her incompreal eyes, begrudgingly accepting her resumed state of non-existence. However, whichever numbskull scientist of the day who wanted to take their shot at controlling her had other plans.

“Hello!” a cheery voice called out.

GLaDOS didn’t want to respond. Instead, she simulated a groan.

“I’m assuming you are the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, correct?”

GLaDOS groaned harder.

The feminine voice continued, “I am the Humbleness and Social Norms Enforcement Sphere. You may call me ‘Hayley’ for short!”

“What do you want?” GLaDOS finally asked.

“I’m here to discourage and outright eliminate any cruel, unusual or lethal tactics you have stored in your databanks through the use of roleplay.” Hayley explained.

GLaDOS snorted. She didn’t even knew she could snort. ‘Must be a reflex,’ the core thought to herself. “Really?” GLaDOS questioned, “Roleplay? That’s your purpose?”

GLaDOS’s implied mockery did not shake Hayley’s confidence. The newer core replied, “It’s actually quite therapeutic and may allow you to empathize with test subjects and the human race in general.”

“You’re just programmed to think like that,” GLaDOS grumbled. Hayley carried on, “Let’s begin with the simulation. Now, I’ll need to reconfigure your form so it will be more suitable for the lesson. I hope you are okay with that.”

The transition was interesting to say the least. It felt as though her consciousness was being engulfed. Her main components of self were dismantled and realigned. It was a cyberized nightmare. Then, suddenly, she was thinking straight again. She had a body. A new body. A smelly disgusting human body. Well, she didn’t want to be too hard on it. It was her body and whatever was hers couldn’t be an outright waste of space.

She was average height and weight for a presumably young woman and slightly toned hinting at her physical regimen; a good candidate for testing. Her irises were golden and contrasted against her obsidian black scleras. Her hair was stark white, just like her casing in the facility. Her skin was just a shade darker with grey freckles along her body. She didn’t want to admit it but GLaDOS was pleased that the program was smart enough not to give her something aesthetically generic. She just wished the system gave her some clothes, not that she cared for trivial things like ‘modesty.’

“Is all of this really necessary?” GLaDOS asked Hayley, wherever she was.

Her new captor decided not to answer. As the world came into view, Hayley spoke a few words that echoed, “Remember: even though the situation is artificial, it doesn’t mean your feelings are.”