Sheer Panic Attack

John’s eyes snapped open, and the fit of laughter Jenny was thrown into helped in relieving the icy, sharp ball of panic that had formed in his stomach. “That wasn’t funny!” John protested, sitting up.

Between gales of laughter, Jenny managed to get out, “You… didn’t see… the look on your face!” She was crying from laughter, and when she was that happy, it was impossible for him to stay mad at her.

“So- that’s not- I mean, you’re not-” John began, and Jenny started laughing again.

“No, you dork! I make tons of bad life choices, but I would not get pregnant at nineteen. Give me a little more credit than that!” she slapped his wrist before getting up to get their clothes. “I mostly said that because I only had enough money to pay for this room for like, an hour. That’s almost up. Couldn’t have you falling asleep.” He shot a mock scowl at her, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Although, with my pantyhose ripped and this short skirt, people might notice a white line running down my leg when we get out of here. That’s pretty hot.” Jenny whispered the last part into his ear, kneeling on the bed with her skirt in her hands. His eyes bugged out again, and she fell into more gales of laughter.

“Let’s go back to your place! You’d think they’d have better air-conditioning than a mundane bedroom,” she wrinkled her nose at the excessive heat of the room, now much more noticeable that their lust had died down.

“Let me just go through the achievements I got real quick,” John replied, grabbing his clothes. Jenny’s exaggerated grumbling about the absurd nature of his powers didn’t go unnoticed.

Achievement Unlocked: Flip the Switch
Have somebody who had thought they were a dom realize they’re a switch by your aggressively pleasurable actions. Attaboy!

• +1 Charisma
• +.5 inches to dick size

Achievement Unlocked: Cut Loose (Footloose)
Punch your V-Card with a willing participant!

• +2 Charisma
• +2 Libido
• +1.5 inch to dick size

Achievement Unlocked: A Storybook Ending (Or Beginning)
Orgasm at the same time as your lover! How cute!

• +.5 inch to dick size
• Luxury enchanted item

Socks of Cloud Nine
Epic item. While wearing this matching pair of socks on their feet or hands, the user feels a euphoric effect similar to some mundane ****. Impossible to build a tolerance to, any who put them on may find them impossible to take off. The cute cloud pattern against the sky blue of the socks is also very pretty.

Quests Complete: “We Will Rock You” and “Throes of Passion”

• +7 Charisma
• +6 Libido
• +3 Agility
• +1 Perk Point
• New Skill: Charm
• New Skill: Discordance

Warning! Skill (Charm) downgraded due to incompatibility with lower level and different gender!

Charm, Active, 50+ MP, 2 MP/s Level 1
While making direct eye contact, activate charm to achieve a variety of effects, accentuating your actions in the mind of the charmed and exaggerating the results of those actions. 50% more effective on those who have the capability to be sexually attracted to you. 50% cheaper on a consenting sexual partner. Mana added to the activation cost increases the power of the charm. The longer a charm lasts without reapplication, the weaker it gets.

Discordance, Passive, Level Max
The user hears broken, discordant notes upon imminent danger. Does not reveal source, direction, or type of danger.

“Holy crap!” John exclaimed, staring at his new stats and skills. If he had known losing his virginity would lead to such a power boost, he would’ve pushed for it much more often. As it were, the reason he had been so complacent was because he knew it was coming (and because he had been in a coma for three days, but that’s beside the point).

That’s not bad at all! All that stuff together has to be at least two or three levels worth, and those skills! John thought, noting that his Charisma was now almost as close to twenty-five as his Endurance. And a perk point! Though… hmm, decisions, decisions.

John agonized over which perk to spend the point on. All of them seemed broken or generally super useful. Mind Reading was ridiculously tempting, but in the end he decided to go with Vital Strike.

Perk Selected: Vital Strike, Strength and Intellect Synergy Perk
Due to your knowledge of physiology, you can strike different points on an enemy’s body unarmed or with a blunt weapon for a variety of random effects from muscle spasms to extra damage.

With that out of the way, a much easier decision was made. He immediately used the Skill Evolution Point on Discordance, finally having a maxed out skill to use it on.

_Those are… a little underwhelming. I mean, unless the attack from the first one is really good. Even then, the third one is clearly the best option,_ John had began to mumble, and he was interrupted by Jenny pressing her bare chest against his back.

“This looks important! I wanna see!” She leaned over his shoulder, and her garnet hair cascaded over his face. “This is all sound stuff! I should be getting it! The first one’s music even!”

“I got this and that charm spell you constantly use for sleeping with you,” John bluntly told her, sliding over the description of Discordance in a separate window.

“But… my charm spell is the only thing I have that’s as broken as your powers!” Jenny pouted, crossing her arms.

“Bass magic?” John retorted with a raised eyebrow, causing her to only get poutier.

“I worked hard for that!”

“Alright, alright. Anyways, I’m going with the mini-map.” John felt no need to explain as he shrugged the shirt she supplied back on, noting it was not the band shirt he had been wearing.

“You don’t appreciate music powers enough!” Jenny snapped, hitting the first option as if it would have an effect.

Laughing, John picked the third option and watched as a detailed, top down, 2D model of the room appeared in the corner of his vision. Jenny appeared as a blue blip on it, and just on the border of it a grey blip blinked in and out of view as John heard faint footsteps go past their door.

New Skill: Mini-map, Passive, Level: N/A
Creates a mini-map in the top right corner of your vision that gains detail based on how well you know the area it displays. Hostile detected entities will be displayed as red dots, detected allies in blue, and detected neutral parties/unknown intentions in grey. Maps of previously encountered areas can be opened in the Maps tab.

“I’m in your party, but I don’t get one? What a ripoff!” Jenny announced, finishing dressing herself. “We really do have to leave now, we’ve got like two more minutes.

“Alright, alright,” John grumbled, using Craft to clean his clothes off; he equipped them in short order.

“Hey, couldn’t you use that to repair my pantyhose?” Jenny asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, but you put that thought in my head, so now you’re going to live it,” John cheekily replied, getting up and stretching.

“Can’t argue with that logic!” Jenny exclaimed, dragging him out of the room just as their time in it reached zero seconds. “Be glad I got out us of there, you do not want to be in debt to anyone here.”

“Wouldn’t you have been the one in debt? Since you paid for the room?” John asked, to which she just shrugged.

“I dunno how it works,” she responded, heading toward the pink glass path toward the exit. “So, you still wanna see the information thingy for those Bounty Hunter guys, right?”

“I’m setting it up, keep your pants on,” Jenny scolded him as she fiddled with a small metallic cube in the middle of his room. Thinking of what she said, she paused to look back at him, “Or don’t!”

John idly checked his phone as she banged on the cube to get it to work. He had put the socks up for auction on their way back, and they were already in the hold the fucking phone, does that say five million dollars!?

“You try it!” Jenny exclaimed, leaning back into John’s lap and causing him to drop his phone into the couch cushions.

“I don’t even know how it works!” John retorted, leaning forward with her on his lap to touch the device. As he touched it, it hummed to life.

Immediately, a fully colored hologram of an old man appeared before them. He had grayed hair and a long, thick white beard. He stood taller than John, nearly seven feet if the hologram was to be believed. He wore red regal robes, and despite his age, John noticed the power in the muscles they concealed.

“So, you wish to become a Waite.” His voice was crisp, clean, and sonorous. A hint of the King’s English peeked through his regal tone, and if he didn’t know any better, John would think the man was looking directly into his eyes.

“We do not take membership lightly.” He stood at attention, his back straighter than an arrow. “You must be loyal, cunning, faithful, independent, and above all…”

“Powerful.” A glint in the man’s eye blinded John, and visions plagued him.

He felt light as a feather. As he moved across the tables that spanned the gigantic dining hall, he drew his sabre. “Hello, my name is Inic Monte, you killed my mother, prepare to die.” He sprang forward, thrusting his sabre cleanly through his speechless opponent. A hole the size of a cannonball formed where the man’s chest used to be as his guts imploded inwards.

Lightning crackled off his fingers as the dire wolves surrounded him. Adrianna Grisold Aurinda VI had set out to **** the King’s Archmage. He may have been an old man nearing his three hundreds. He may have only been the Archmage out of his seniority in the position, but such low creatures were below him. A flick of his wrist sent a whip of lightning out, and the wolves became ash. The hidden blade surged toward him victoriously, only to be hit by the recoil of the whip. The assassin died as his dogs did.

Wearing nothing but a loin cloth, he stopped the cannonball with his bare hands. The conquistador shrieked at his savage smile. The sound only stopped when the cannonball, thrown back, took off his head.

A revolver in each upper hand, he observed his opponents with his remaining eye. There had to be fifty of them at least, and each better equipped than him. He leveled his two left hands at the rocketeers and his two right hands at the Dragoons. He fired on the missiles before they could leave their launchers, and the recoil that would break the wrist of any normal man comforted him. The Dragoons shot the lasers from their spears as they charged him, and he unmasked himself. At once, they all dropped.

John stopped spasming as he heard Jenny calling his name, and he slowly looked back up at the old man. Luxurious dormitories, piles of gold, endless libraries, surprisingly friendly faces, and caches of weapons flashed behind him as he spoke, “Comfort, wealth, knowledge, allies, power. This and more await, if you survive.”

“That didn’t happen when I played it,” Jenny muttered, looking at him worriedly. She kissed him once, and that broke him out of his post-vision stupor.

“That settles it,” John said with a wide grin on his face,