She wants to show us… Rock candy?

Friendly Paws then walked away from the living room, holding up a finger in a ‘I’ll be back in a minute’ manner. Regina looked at me as if I knew what that was about, but all I could share was a shrug to let her know that I was just as blind as she was on this occasion. Minutes later, the feline heroine returned with six small boxes being carried in her arms. They were one of two colours, pink or yellow, and from the design I could guess that the contents were sugary and marketed to kids.

“Ladies, allow me to introduce you to Kitty Rocks” Friendly Paws started a monologue that seemed to have been practiced over and over in her head for quite some time. Some people made it obvious with the tone of their voice whenever they were reciting something compared when they were speaking off the cuff, and she was certainly among them. “Born out of the partnership of the five times LS Magazine Reader’s Choice Hero of the Year and the start-up company ‘Intelligent Candy’, Kitty Rocks is a treat deemed ‘too sugary to be legally allowed on the shelves’. The candy people are working on a second batch now, but guess who made sure all that sugary goodness didn't go to waste?” She jabbed her thumb against her chest.

“The MotherForker?” Regina jested, which only slightly annoyed our host.

“I am only to let that disrespect go unmentioned because I can’t deny that’s the perfect nickname for him.” She said as sternly as she could, making a visible effort not to laugh.

“Didn’t you just acknowledge it right then?” I asked. I genuinely wasn’t trying to come off as a smartass (unlike Regina), but I noticed how bad the question sounded about five seconds after making it.

“That’s all irrelevant!” She yelled before raising her arms above her head. “The point is that I have a shitload of boxes here, it’s the best thing ever, and you two are going to taste it and agree with me on that!” Not a moment after she stopped talking, she threw boxes in our direction. Mine was a yellow one, while Regina’s was pink.

“Hey catgirl, you don’t need to tell me twice to get me to eat free candy” Regina chuckled as she got a pack out of the box and tore it open right over her mouth. I saw her eyes water and her cheeks rise about three seconds later. It seemed like they were exactly as advertised. I felt like I heard her mumble ‘Holy shit’, but it was muffled by all the food in her mouth.

Well, I lost nothing for trying it myself. I picked up a bag of it with ‘Milky Banana’ written on it and opened it up, distributing about four pieces of it to my hand. Once they were thrown onto my mouth, I saw what the big deal was all about. It felt like a party in my mouth, and I knew for sure that I could only tolerate this much of a sugary feeling because I was addicted to such treats. I agree with whoever decided kids should be nowhere near this stuff, but I also felt that it was a great injustice that only one batch would be made of something so delicious!

We spent the next fifteen minutes eating like pigs. I threw one of mine in Regina’s direction in exchange for one of her ‘Strawberry Punches’. There wasn’t much of a difference between flavors when they were in my mouth, the sugar would simply override all of it, but the contrast made itself noticeable in the aftertaste. Both were good, but I was happy that I got to eat most of the banana candy.

It was then that I realized Friendly was looking at us in a funny manner. It reminded me of the expression I usually made when I couldn’t follow a hero’s fight because whoever was recording did a poor job at it. Her eyes were on us as if she was hoping that concentrating harder would make her vision zoom in, her thumb pressed up against the underside of her jaw, and she had to pull her bottom lip into her mouth so she wouldn’t be bitting on it with her top row of teeth. It was very detective-like, and that was not something I had seen her to do much of in the hundreds of hours I’ve spent watching her.

“Is there a problem?” I asked, successfully getting her attention. “Were we meant to show some more self-restraint? I mean, I’m not going to say that we deserved to pass if you were secretly testing us with this, but we had understood that you wanted us to eat the whole thing, so-”

“No, don’t say silly stuff like that. You guys are cool, you haven’t done anything wrong.” She cut me off, probably fearing I would start rambling about how we would like a second chance to prove we were cut off for the life of a hero. “I was just thinking about something else.” She paused, and she stared at the ceiling for a moment as if she was trying to come up with something to say. “It’s just weird that you guys are totally fine eating that stuff. The candymen talked up the potential side-effects of addiction a lot, but I wasn’t affected at all. And neither are either of you. I’m starting to think they were full of it, but I can’t imagine what would be the point of lying about it.”

It’d be a lie if I said that I fully believed her, but it was better to play along. Even in the scenario where she really was hiding something from us, it would not be without a good reason to do so. “Maybe it’s cause the second option was cheaper to make?” I suggested a theory.

She smiled once I played into her little story. There didn’t seem to be a hint of regret there, which worried me a bit. It’s one thing to have to lie, but isn’t someone like her meant to be hurt when they do something necessary that they disagree with? “Yeah, I’d believe that. But why make so many for the first batch in the first place?”

She really wanted me to believe this, didn’t she? She couldn’t just let it go and accept what I had said as an explanation, she had to fight it enough to make it believable that this was something she had been doing a lot of thinking about. Truthfully, this was getting a little bit annoying. Yet, I reminded myself that this was a member of the Legendary 12. Whatever reason there was behind her actions, it was surely extremely valid and I would be making myself no favors by questioning it. “Well, they would want it to look like an authentic first shot, wouldn’t they? No matter how many boxes of it you have in your house, I doubt that it would be enough for a real commercial run.”

Her smile widened, yet her eyes seemed as if they had dimmed. Had I taken too long? Did she figure out that I didn’t buy this as what was making her concerned? “You’re a pretty smart kitty, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I’d say that she has a genius pussy!” Regina yelled from her spot before I could answer anything, and my hands glued themselves to my face to hide my shame.

Friendly Paws coughed in the most **** manner I ever heard, trying to make time so she could change the conversation to another topic. “Well, if we’re going to be so open about stuff like that, how many times have you two slept together so far?” Perhaps I had been too hopeful.

“The answer is zero!” I yelled before Regina could lie. “And for the record, I do not have a genius pussy!” I pointed a finger in her direction, lowering once my words echoed around my head. “Wait, hold on. What does that even mean?”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, it just needs to be lewd.” She shrugged, casually grabbing a new package and ripping it with enough **** that it practically exploded. It was then that I had noticed that she had pulled her pants down a few inches so they were now hanging around her thighs just in front of where her seat ended. “Ouch, I really hurt my hands there!” She yelled, fooling no one.

Sure enough, the moment I looked I noticed a lot of candy right around the crotch area. “I guess I can’t eat that anymore, but it would be a waste to just trash it.” She told us with fake innocence. “But I wouldn’t have any problems with one of you coming closer to eat it up. Just don’t use your hands, it would be weird if you touched me there, don’t you think?”

Yep, she was trying to get one of us to give her cunnilingus. But before I could tell Friendly how sorry I was that she was acting like this, I saw the conflict on her face and realized that she was thinking hard about actually doing it. Which made me realize that my choices were either doing something obscene in front of someone I admire or watching that person do that act in my place.

But what was I thinking of it like that? In my place? I wasn’t dating Regina! I didn’t even like girls… I didn’t even like girls until yesterday… I didn’t even like girls who weren’t super-heroines until yesterday!

And it wasn’t like Regina was someone who looked and acted incredibly hot all the time, and that with each new dumb thing she did it became harder and harder to get angry rather than amused. Nope, she was definitely not like that. And I certainly didn’t want to get my tongue inside Regina in the hopes that maybe Friendly Paws would turn horny enough to want to get her tongue inside me.

I know that it’s a small price to pay for superpowers, but why did this ring have to make me so damn horny?