Sexual Technique (Ultra) and Leech EXP

"Wait, wait, I think I've got it! You were reading up on that turn undead thing that clerics use, right? Probably the ultra version! With that, you won't even have to fight the last match. Hey... I didn't even need to do that naked race, if you've got something like that!" Pike protested, standing back up from her feet and covering herself once again.

You shook your head back and forth, telling her to guess again. Of course, if there was a book like that in your inventory, it really would have been a good idea to read it and use it here... but then, you weren't entirely sure if the skill books were one-size-fits-all. It was possible that one was exclusive to clerics or relied on some kind of prayers that you couldn't do as a pumpkin-head. Now, your party did have a cleric, so it would be a great skill for her to learn... but she didn't seem like the studious type when it comes to actual, useful cleric skills. You made a note to yourself to make sure she learned it later, though.

"You were probably researching how to craft cleric crosses, right? She won't be able to make those! The cross is supposed to repel vampires!" Pike's second guess was just as sound as the first and you were starting to feel pretty guilty you hadn't invested your time in something like that. When you shook your head again, she knit her brow, looking frustrated and impatient. "Well, just tell me already! What'd you come up with?!"

You nodded at Evilward, who brought the book over for Pike to look at. "This is the book our wise master picked out. I can see now why Winnifred didn't object once she saw the title. Crowmaster must have dropped it from his corpse when he died in our dungeon earlier. I can imagine that traitorous bastard bawling his eyes out when he got back to town and realized he didn't have it."

Sexual Technique (Ultra)

"Holy wow, Icky... Can you be any lower? You had all of us out here fighting for you and you were just lollygagging around, boning up on how to bone?! What, are you going to challenge her to a masturbation match just like Winnifred did? Do you remember what happened to her?!" Pike ranted while shaking your shoulders back and forth desperately, no longer bothering to cover herself.

You remembered what had happened to your cleric cultist very vividly. Still, you reassured your thief that this was the right move. You knew how to get the vampire for sure now...

"I mean, you're at least going to challenge her to do it outside so she burns to ****, right? My contest was the hint! If you make her do a long-winded challenge outside, she'll run out of bats and perish!" Pike pointed out, now flailing her arms desperately to try to get you to come to reason.

While that was true, something told you that proud vampire would accept the challenge anyway. You didn't actually want to burn her; you wanted her to join your cult! You needed a way to win that didn't involve the incineration of the only vampire minion around here without a gross, shriveled cock. Once more, you reassured your allies you'd come up with a winning formula. After all... you hadn't needed that whole time to read just one book. As a safety precaution, you'd hidden the text from another, simpler book inside, in the form of a few torn pages. This one was a spell-book:

Leech EXP

Pike raised one eyebrow. "Uh, dude... I don't know if you knew, but there's a reason nobody uses that spell-book, even though it's a high level spell. It sounds good in theory, but the whole thing requires an absolute butt-ton of mana to keep up and for most people, it's faster EXP growth to just kill some monsters. Plus, you've got to have direct, body-to-body contact for it to work. Mostly, it's just used by RPers who want to look cool using a draining skill," she shrugged.

You told her that you knew plenty about this spell already. She'd just need to trust you.

"So... outdoor sex? That's your contest?"

Once again, you shook your head. Indoors! You needed your bed to make this work.

"And why the heck do you need that?"

You told her it was because the vampire was going to be changing positions a lot and you wanted to make sure she was very comfortable.

Back inside, Pike had redressed into her bikini while the vampire remained nude. That had been part of your challenge.

The vampire countess stared at the gaudy, pumpkin-printed bedspread and gave you a belittling smile. "You really are **** to live as a king for a little while longer, aren't you? So... this challenge is to make me leak like your poor little cleric? I've even submitted to give you any starting position you like and to go into it naked. Beyond that, I consented not to use my superior strength to crush you during the contest. If you can't score a victory with all of those handicaps, I think you'd better hang up the mantle, little pumpkin," Bathory taunted, her eyes smiling as she began to make her way onto the bed. She simply floated into the air and landed on its surface, remaining upright with her bare feet to the sheets. She wasn't the type of vampire who actually needed wings, it seemed.

You told her that was exactly right. The two of you would start out facing each other. She'd need to hold her arms behind your body and push her boobs up against you, while keeping her head about level with your own pumpkin.

"Aw... You just wanted a hug this whole time~" The vampire gave another giggle, then levitated your stake into the air, before planting it in the center of the bedspread. The sheets bearing your image, the grinning jack-o-lantern face, were torn through with a new hole in their center... perhaps a bad omen for you. At any rate, getting hugged by this vampire was not a bad deal at all; even if your plan failed, it was worth it to smell her rose-scented perfume and feel the pleasant mounds of her flesh bearing into your coarse straw, touching up nearly to your vines. You felt her hands wrap behind you, clutching one another and pressing to the small of your back, as she smiled challengingly. "You became way too haughty. We vampires are masters of glamours! You cannot charm a being such as me... Especially not when a pumpkin-head has no genitals."

You coughed, then tilted your head and candle eyes upward, indicating that she should check your status one more time.

Bathory's eyes momentarily widened as her mouth fell open. "You're... You're an explicit pumpkin-head?"

In the next moment, you'd extended your plant equivalent of a cock out, beginning by rubbing it into the splendid gap between her thighs. The length of it was so unexpectedly great that you could tell the head must be poking out past her bottom, from under and between her noble ass-cheeks. You made a mental note to scale down the girth a little... Your vine manipulation, mixed with your new mastery of sexual techniques had given you a much firmer control over your, well, control of your firmness, as well as your size, but it still took some getting used to.

While she was still staring with her mouth slightly agape, you activated part two of your plan... subtly and stealthily, you activated your drain EXP spell. It was true... the average person would have a hard time making use of such a situational spell. You, on the other hand, had enhanced MP regeneration, given to you by gods who probably only ever counted on you using a small handful of spells. With your superior rate of magic recovery, it shouldn't be any issue at all to keep the EXP drain going the entire time. That could definitely help you in the long-run, but even in the short-term... you thought that this sexual contest might benefit from evening up the gap in abilities between the two of you.

Plus, you planned to keep a lot of physical contact with Countess Bathory in the moments to come.

Before Bathory could protest the introduction of your unusual vegetation, you began to manipulate the rest of your vines, sticking out a pair to wrap about her wrists and another to wrap one of her legs to your post. One more began to snake out from your jagged mouth like a sinister, green tongue; it even seemed to lick at your non-existent lips, dripping plant goop down your round equivalent of a chin. The pulp landed upon the lovely, if haughty, vampire's breasts, coloring their grayness with a new spatter of orange. Perhaps you could think of this as the first step of dressing her in your colors?

The woman opened her mouth to make another cute remark, then screwed up her eyes as your tentacle thrust forward, placing itself between her red lips and forcing her mouth to gape open and recieve it. Her fierce eyes crossed into a stupid expression as you moved the tentacle in and out... at first, it had looked like a tongue, but it would be more appropriate to think of the snake-like appendage as another dick that just happened to be at head height. While she struggled to deal with that surprising turn of events, you used your lower tendrils to spread her legs apart, then, feeling a moistness indicating that she may be ready, you slowly wriggled your most important appendage in between her legs.

Impossibly, the woman managed to laugh even with your tendril in her mouth. "Mwow mu must m'call; muh mall'mege 'mis 'mu make me 'mum!" She was putting on an honorable effort to maintain her dignity as a countess, but you couldn't understand a word she was saying while her mouth was full of your tentacle-like plant cock.

This might be a new experience for her... but it was a new one for you too! To this point, you'd had your vine stroked by Pike and your vine sucked by Winnifred the White... both fine experiences and cherished memories. However, none of them could have prepared you for this! The feeling of the vampire's most private inner crevices was wholly new to you and made you quickly understand why people devoted so much time and effort to this sex thing you pumpkins had never understood before. Plus, to do it with someone like the Countess... to any Halloween monster, she was like a celebrity or maybe even royalty! The taboo of being with someone like that just made you more and more excited! This was to say nothing of the plant physiology as you'd come to understand it... When a humanoid creature has sex, their feelings of arousal are restricted mostly to a few erogenous zones, especially the genitals. With your vine construction, it was as though your whole body was a series of penises, each equally capable of feeling the same arousal an ordinary man's could. In short, while the vine inside her pussy felt great, the others were being totally stimulated as well, even from just being grabbed at by her hands or brushing against her thighs!

If this was a challenge to make you cum, it'd be over pretty quickly. Already, you were leaking sap from several of your new holes, getting it all over your new sheets and Bathory's stunning vampire body. Her unblemished skin soon became a canvas for undignified, plant-based bukkake, covering her in the syrup-like substance from her hair to her cheeks, from her breasts to her abdomen, from her buttocks to her thighs, from her fingers to her toes! You felt her protesting at the sliminess of it at first, then giving a small "hmmm" of reconsideration as you withdrew your tendril slightly and released a few squirts into her mouth. It seemed most ladies would appreciate the taste, as long as you weren't half-drowning them in it the way you had Winnifred that one time. Just as she was smiling and looking a little pleased with that part of the experience, you caused her to give a scoffing groan, as you blasted her face with another full coating of plant jizz. You couldn't help yourself! It had been hard to hold yourself back from releasing into her throat, after all.

"Y-Yooooou!" she howled in a mixture of obvious arousal and indignation, going from an intense glare to a messed up, unsure grin of pleasure. It might be hard to imagine that a vampire countess could allow herself to be mistreated this way- and enjoy it, to boot! Yet, your pumpkin equivalent of a brain understood the logic. First of all, she was probably actually the sexually repressed type... Halloween vampires only appear for one day a year and they're targets for fighting adventurers, too strong to be won over by horny ones. You hadn't realized how damn horny you were until you'd gotten your explicit parts... then you'd realized it very clearly, consistently, ever since you woke up.

Secondly, you'd fully read up on sexual techniques. Whenever one technique seemed lacking, you quickly abandoned it and moved onto another, making this a non-stop attack to all of the senses, the kind of thing that bottomless volumes of erotica had been written about.

Finally, you'd put her in bondage and the terms of the contest forbid her from destroying your body. That meant she wasn't allowed to snap your tendrils and slash you to smithereens with her long, pretty nails. As such, the only form of resistance she had was to try hard not to cum... and you thought to yourself that you were very quickly winning the battle between her earlier desire to lead your small cult and her new desire to see all of the ways an overly erotic pumpkin-head minion can please a vampire.

You found your musing answered as the woman opened her mouth wide, showing the tips of her fangs and running her tongue across the orange outer shell of your pumpkin, licking up the sap and pumpkin-guts that had accumulated there. You couldn't see it, but you could hear her sucking up the substance and chewing it in her mouth, before swallowing. The thought that she was enjoying this contest and trying harder gave you new vigor and pumped more sap into your viney cocks! You came again... and again...!

"You stupid bastard! You're gonna run out before she cums!"

That scolding, unsatisfied voice could only be Evilgard. Dammit! You'd almost fell for Bathory's trap. Sure, she might be enjoying herself, but she hadn't cum yet. Despite the stretching and exploring of your lower vines, you'd yet to feel her actually contract or convulse with an orgasm yet. She really was trying to exhaust your large pool of stamina before you found purchase. Alright... no more Mister Nice Pumpkin! It was time to give her an experience you highly doubted she'd thought of before.

You flipped the vampire in place with a flick of your tendrils! In that moment, what was left of her silver hair pooled around her head on the bed as she glared up at you with a mixture of fear and anticipation for what you'd do next.

Doubting your own limited dexterity, you attempted to stretch one vine throughout her pussy, rubbing against the sap-coated walls as much as you could manage. While her mouth opened into a moaning circle, you then began to test the other hole. You warned her that you hoped it wasn't too rough, but a boss like herself ought to be able to take it! With no further hesitation, you began to wriggle a second tendril inside her exposed asshole, submerging first the head, then more of it, until an obscene amount had vanished inside.

"Aaaagh! Damn you, Ickibod! T-To think you'd take a vampire's anal virginity!" Bathory was beside herself, but with her arms tied, her legs spread, and her body ravished by tentacles, she still made no move to use her massive strength to destroy you. "You... You must be running out! You can't keep cumming forever! You'll... you'll shrivel and run out of sap! Oooo-ooooh!"

If your plan had been limited to the scope of what you'd thought up before you started, you surely would have failed. Bathory would have it correct: you'd run out of plant-goop to pump into her before she lost control and reached orgasm.

However, luck was on your side. You were the beneficiary of an unforeseen boon that even you hadn't anticipated.

The experience drain was going better than anyone could have expected, due to the constant contact and your fast MP regeneration. What even you hadn't accounted for: where there's EXP, there's level ups! With each level up you reached, your stamina pool and MP pool were fully refilled, allowing you to start over with both your vine manipulation and your draining. By this point, you thought you may actually out-level Evilward! More importantly, it had allowed you to outlast a noble vampire who ought to have beaten you by now at least five times over.

"You're making me so... so weak! This is impossible for a pumpkin-head! Wh-What are you doing to me?!" Bathory cried in a plea of desperation, combined with a moan of ecstasy. She clutched her face with her bound hands as you executed a merciless piledriver into both holes. Little did she realize that you were actually literally making her weak; you'd drained off a good six levels by now.

"I-I must be the one to defeat this devious technic!" You heard Winnifred shouting in bad English in the background, sounding excited about future opportunities. She had no way of realizing she'd never get the opportunity to experience it this same way, with the pathetic level difference that now existed between you and her.

"Dude, you're... crazy!" You heard Pike, sounding in awe of your abilities and stamina. The elf had her mouth covered with one hand, watching with wide eyes as though she was considering you in a new way. You suspected you may go back up to revered status with her after this.

"I'm not rebuilding this bed you fucked up." You heard Evilward, ever the buzzkill- the only one not to offer you any praise.

Just ignore your killjoy Justicier! You have too much joy to be killed! With another surging motion, you began to pump sap out of your plant vines and into the dual receptacles of the vampire's pussy and asshole, filling her with so much of the stuff that it began to leak over and run down her stomach. This time there was no mistaking it; from her indignant wail and the way her legs were twitching in the air, spread to either side with the toes curling slightly, there was no mistaking that she'd just lost the contest. Feeling victorious, you addressed her for the first time: "How did you enjoy the contest, my new minion?"

"I... I didn't cum," she lied sheepishly, then clenched her teeth and whimpered as you began to rub your tendril against her widened asshole, threatening another entry. "Okay! Okay, I came! I'm your minion, Lord Ickibod! I'll be the first vampire ever to serve a pumpkin! B-But please, let me rest and recollect my thoughts! I feel like any more of this brutish treatment and I'm going to revert into a feral vampire!" Finally, you released her, allowing her to flop onto the bed with her legs splayed, each running past a different side of your stake on the center of the bed. As she breathed heavily, you raised your arms and flapped them in victory! You beckoned your girls to come up there and join you.

... Pike stayed back, clutching her hands between her legs and shaking her head. "I-I'm good over here, dude..." You thought the demonstration had actually scared her a bit.

"I'm coming to face you now, monster!" Winnifred announced with resolution in her role-player voice, but Pike grabbed the butt of her bikini and held her back, causing her to trip and fall with her face against the bed-spread.

"I'm obviously not getting up there after all that," Evilgard finished, shaking her glossy black hair and looking stern. It struck you that she seemed to be the only one who wasn't particularly aroused by the demonstration. Maybe she still wasn't seeing herself as a potential sex partner for you, even now that she had all the equipment you wanted? I mean, that was fine, of course. You didn't have to have sex with everyone. This wasn't some erotic fiction story! But you didn't want it off the table either.

The last matter was Bathory, who lay on her back with her hand balled into a fist, now covering her tear-streaked eyes with her wrist. Your jolliness faded as you began to feel that you'd made a terrible mistake, treating her too cruelly. Ridiculously, you asked her what was wrong, knowing full well you were the cause of her after-sex misery.

The answer wasn't quite what you were expecting. "I thought... I thought Halloween monsters loved me! I thought that I was popular with all of the Halloween minions and you all loved serving me! But now I see things the way they really are... You hate me so much, you devised this fantastic plan to defeat and enslave me! How could anyone respect a woman who can't even control her lust in such a basic competition? I've been such a fool! You hated me all along..." The vampire whimpered with her cheek against the bed-spread. Her take-away from this experience was that even the minions she'd always shared Halloween with weren't her friends in this lonely new world.

You shook your head as hard as you could, then forcibly tipped your stake over in the bed so that you could lay beside her for a little pillow talk. She had it all wrong! You'd always idolized the Halloween vampire raid boss, the coolest and strongest monster there was during the Halloween event. Half of the reason that you'd wanted to challenge her and keep your cult, instead of serving her, was to prove how much you'd grown and that a pumpkin-head could stand on even footing with such a great monster as her. That wasn't because you hated her; it was because you respected her! Plus, who wouldn't want such a killer minion, with a charming personality and a great body? And the stamina! Untold ejaculations worth of stamina in that slender, feminine form! This was like meeting and fucking your idol on the same day!

Evilward gave a loud cough, indicating that you were straying into some perverted territory that clashed with your earlier heart-felt sappiness.

"So... You still see me that way? You idolize me?"

You bobbed your over-sized head in affirmation.

"And you'll serve me?"

You started to nod your head, before Pike ran up and grabbed it in a headlock against her cute, bikini-clad breasts to stop you from doing so. "Dude! She's using a glamour to trick you!"

The vampire clicked her teeth, then pouted and stared at the wall while drawing circles on the sheet with one finger. "Phooey. Your thief is too perceptive."

Well, now you really were pissed! You told the vampire enough was enough; you'd beaten her and now it was time for her to pay the piper. She'd be your new lair minion. Sighing, she nodded her head, while sitting upright on the bed next to you. You made your move to add her to your register...

Beeee-wooooo

Error: New minion level cannot exceed boss monster level. Cannot accept new minion application.
TIP: Try reassigning boss status to the stronger monster!

Well, thanks a lot, gods! What had this whole stupid contest been for?! You asked yourself these questions angrily while literally spinning your head in frustration.

"Hm? What was that message just now?" Bathory questioned, staring curiously at your behavior.

You stopped spinning immediately and smiled. You told her the application was accepted! She was your new minion now and if she didn't see the official notice on it, well, she should just wait; that noise just meant that the gods were sorting through the paperwork. She shrugged and wordlessly accepted your logic. You silently celebrated the success of your manipulation... Turnabout was fair play, after that glamour she tried to pull on you just now!

As the group sat down for lunch, utilizing the beds as makeshift tables since you'd constructed no dining room, you felt that the vampire had ended up the odd woman out. While the others wore colorful, Halloween-print gear, she had ended up with a French maid fetish uniform from some event or another that Pike had subbed in for lack of any other Halloween costumes. Pike had, of course, pointed out that the vampire's original clothes fit the Halloween theme better than this. You simply repeated "No they didn't" until the elf was **** by her curse to concede the point.

The outfit was black and white, with a short, frilly skirt and a maid hairband, as well as tall, white stockings. You thought it suited Bathory's gothic sensibilities... a little... okay, you really just wanted to see a high vampire dressed as your personal maid. Plus, it had been a nice, clean outfit for her to change into after washing all of the sticky sap off in your fountain, which used to be your old reflection pool, when this was still just a cave.

"So when can I get some clothes to wear under this cape?" Evilward asked as she picked at some unidentifiable slice of meat the vampire countess had cooked up, seeming suspicious of its origins.

Ignoring her question completely, you nodded to everyone and told them it felt great to be sharing a meal together as a cult. Truly wholesome. Everyone should feel proud of what you all were accomplishing out here.

"I suppose I'm bound to this crypt now. It's such a shame... The haunted castle was so much more spacious, with built in battlements and manifold rooms. You've got a decent start here, but that place only needs a few renovations to be in ship shape for fending off intruders," Bathory pointed out, even as she raised her wine-glass for a toast. Of course, you knew she wasn't really bound here yet, but you didn't say that.

Her words had you curious. Did that mean that the Haunted Castle was ripe for the claiming?

"Oh, I suppose so."

The others were all eating, but you weren't. As such, you had no food to talk around as you informed your cult of your next proclamation: it was time to expand your cult's territory! You would head out with a small party to claim that castle for the Pumpkin Lord, who, let it be known, was now actually appropriately titled as a Level 10 Pumpkin Lord! Anyone who stood in your way would either be converted or destroyed! Bathory could stay here and hold the fort down.

"Destroyed sounds good! We haven't gotten to do nearly the amount of killing I envisioned yet," Pike agreed enthusiastically, grinning as she set her fork down upon her empty plate.

"I have to remind you again that I'm not letting you all destroy innocent people. I'm still a protector of the roleplayers here on my server," Evilward warned you. Everybody around the table laughed as though she'd said some kind of joke. "R-Really! I mean it! Don't think I can't take you just because you grew to level ten, you fucking garden fixture!"

Once the laughing subsided, you pointed out that you'd need someone to lug you around. None of your new abilities, nor your new levels, had thus far managed to remove that cursed "immobile" tag in your feats list. It would need to be someone with a decent amount of strength...

The party's eyes turned again to Evilward. The former Sheriff frowned awkwardly and raised both gloved hands. Ridiculously, you'd given her black gloves and boots to wear, along with a head-bandage to cover that old wound she'd gotten, but nothing to go under her robe yet. "Don't look at me just because I used to be a man, idiots. I'm a ranger. I'm not specced for strength. I can't lug that heavy bastard around everywhere..."

"And I'm 'holding down the fort' here. Besides... that bat trick I used during the footrace wouldn't work all the way back to the castle. Unless you want to move only at night- which seems to be disagreeable to adventurers and their fleeting gods- I'd be in danger from the sunlight," the vampire added, then took another dainty sip from a chalice full of what you hoped for your cultists' sake was red wine.

Crap... The zombies were all bound to the crypt, as monsters you'd generated yourself. You were going to have to resolve this question of who was suited to bear the burden of lugging you to the castle in the north.