Setting Goals For Growth (R,M)

By the time Richard had gotten out of the shower Aubrey was gone. Maeve was waiting for him, having changed into a grey nightgown. It seemed like Genet’s magic had warped it like most of her wardrobe, creating a plunging neckline, He tried to look away.

Several to-go boxes were sitting on his desk. The same Harem Hotel logo as on his phone were stamped on the cardboard. There were eight of them, though none especially large.

“Did you want to eat first?” His therapist asked. She’d been watching his gaze shift from her to the food. “I hadn’t expected there to be so much, but Genet ended up coming with Luna to help deliver it.”

“Do you know what it’s supposed to be? I know it’s one of your favorite meals, but I was curious how much choice you had in it.”

“Virtually none. I wasn’t consulted before breakfast, though the trip down memory lane was appreciated. I think Genet’s doing something like that again, as she made a point of calling me “doll” as she brought this in.

“Doll?”

She smiled slightly. There’s a doll store in Chicago with a restaurant attached, it tries to blend fine dining with something suitable for a family. They do a four course meal you can customize somewhat, and if you buy a doll at the shop they have these toy chairs that hook into the table and let your doll sit with you.”

“That sounds nice.” From what Genet said this morning, this was the second “favorite meal” of the day that’d come from a childhood memory. He wondered if lunch had come from her childhood too. Has nothing been as good as an adult? “You said this is a four course meal. What order are we supposed to take it?”

She stood up from the bed and grabbed one of his chairs from the wall. “If I remember correctly there should be a pair of cinnamon buns here in these. Here they are” After opening a few of the cardboard boxes, she’d found what she’d been looking for. A cinnamon bun the size of his fist was in either box she left open on the desk, and it looked like it’d been finished minutes ago.

“Starting with dessert?” He asked. He’d been to Chicago a few times, but never had any interest in the place she was talking about.

“This is just what they did to welcome people.” She tore a piece off of the pastry. “They’d have this arrive while they were getting your doll seated and you decided what the rest of your meal would look like.”

After she finished explaining they ate the buns in silence. It seemed like she had a plan here, and he didn’t want to disturb that. As he finished eating the first course a moment after her, she offered him her napkin. It took a few pats to find the spot she’d noticed on his upper lip where a bit of dried frosting sat.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She said as she moved the first box to the back of the desk. “I’m sure you noticed that I wasn’t the focus of today.”

“I did. Thank you for helping Aubrey and I today.”

“I’m glad I had the chance. I plan on spending the day with her again tomorrow to help further. Luna asked for the day with me, though I didn't get the chance to ask what she needed. Do you know what she might need my help with?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t. It feels like you, her, and Hazel have dealt with the island the best.”

“Right.” I might as well get this over with. “Have you given any thought to how the show will affect our relationship?” She was studying him carefully, waiting for his response.

“Honestly, I had been doing my best not to think about it. I’d leave things up to you if possible. I’ve appreciated your advice the past few days, and how calm you’ve been through this.” He waved his hand, gesturing around the room.

“I’d like that to continue as well.” She opened the second set of boxes and slid one over to him. This one had separated compartments within the box, two holding carrots and strawberries and the other two filled with chocolate sauce and hummus. “Trying to be an advisor for everyone would be comfortable for me. People are going to have complicated feelings about their changing relationships with you and the transformations that’ll be coming in the coming rounds. For as long as I can, I’ll try to help with whatever happens.” She dipped one of the carrot slices into the hummus.

For as long as she can. What does she expect to happen to her? She was just sitting there, nibbling on the appetizer like she hadn’t said something so ominous.”Do you expect anything to happen to you?” I can’t handle losing anyone more.

She saw the lines of stress spreading across his face and took his hand.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m not in danger. I was saying that I may not be trustworthy enough to help in the future.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“First of all, I could get a transformation that could make me not able to think as clearly. It almost happened once already. One of my paths is Social Work, and the previous transformation on the path was giving me a fetish for breaking social norms. That was obviously meant to lead me to start a relationship with you, but it would also bias me when trying to help your stepsister. Helena and Genet are very obviously at odds with each other when it comes to Helena's relationship with you, and a transformation like that could lead me to give her advice the show would want me to give, rather than what she actually needs.

Second, the show may **** us to be together in the future. If I became your lover, being your therapist as well would create a tremendous power imbalance. If anyone in the outside world found out, I could lose my license. I shouldn’t even be considering what a relationship with you would look like, but I have to prepare for the possibility given the show’s premise.”

Richard honestly didn’t care about her having too much power. But he understood the rest of her concerns. “If they give you a mental transformation, then we could all look out for it if you warned us.”

“I would appreciate that. Can you also promise me that if we’re lovers by the time we leave the island, you find a new therapist? I can help if you need, but I need to make sure that you do it in case I’m no longer capable of making that choice.”

He gulped. He still didn’t like the idea of trusting someone other than her and Luna with everything, but he understood. “I promise.”

“Thank you.” She slowly started into the strawberries as he caught up. “Was there anything that you wanted to talk about?” She asked him.

He finished eating a strawberry before responding. “Is it alright to discuss another difficult thing?”

“That’s what I’m here for.” She reassured him.

“I know Genet is trying to be gentle when she can, but every time it gets quiet I worry about something bad happening to you all. Genet’s going to get replaced by someone worse, or something will happen to you or Aubrey or Hel.”

She took the appetizer box back from him and moved it to the back of the desk with the boxes for the buns. He offered him her hand, and he took it. “Let’s go through our steps. You already have step two, you know what your leading thought is. I want to go back to step one. Were there any events that made this come to mind?”

“Hel’s transformation during the opening ceremony… and learning about the eliminations after my argument with Aubrey.”

“Alright. So those got you worried about us?”

“Yes. I just can’t let go of it. This afternoon when she was falling asleep was the first time in days I’ve been able to sit in the quiet without it coming to me.”

“I’m glad today’s been better at least. Is thinking about this able to help you avoid it?”

He didn’t want to say no. “I don’t know.”

“How realistic do you think it is that your worry will come true?”

“I don’t know. A transformation could hurt someone. The challenge could go wrong. You were worried about the show forcing you to be with me. If they try to do that with Helena, I don’t know what happens if she tries to resist.”

“Those are all valid concerns, but they can’t get better or worse tonight. Tomorrow you should try to talk to Genet before your date. I can be there if you’d like. While she has some power over us all, she needs you to be in a state that you’d be comfortable participating. All of us, but especially you.” Dr.Petrov thought to the day before, when Genet had asked for her help. “Hopefully having a plan helps you like usual.”

“I think so.”

“Good. I’m always available if you need me.” She changed the subject. “You might laugh when you see the main course.” She gave him the largest box from his set.

“I’m sure I won’t, I-” He opened the box. “Chicken tenders?” Indeed, several crispy chicken tenders sat inside with a pocket filled with honey mustard.

“I haven’t been to this place in almost thirty years. It’s more about the memories than the food. Although I think your friend did a better job on these than they might’ve deserved.”

Assuming Stella had made these, Maeve was right. He could taste the garlic and onion, and there was a little kick like Ava or Luna would like. I wonder what she's doing for Luna tonight? When Stella made buffalo wings for them before, she’d fried cauliflower in a separate batch.

The last course had been a raspberry sorbet. It’d still been cold by the time they’d opened it, despite how long it’d been sitting out. Ava and Felicia would love to see this.

By the time they’d reached the third and fourth courses, their conversation calmed down from their concerns about what the show might do. She steered it to other topics once she confirmed he was ready to move on. She asked him to tell her more about the gaming group, and so he’d told her about how Felicia had invited him and he’d brought along Luna. They’d all had game nights and movie nights together. He explained that he’d gravitated the most towards Ava from the three, and that Luna had started sharing shows with Felicia and books with Stella.

He’d tried to keep things balanced by asking questions about her and what she remembered about the trip to Chicago the memory of this dinner was based on. She gave plenty of details on her and her parent’s trip but at times it sounded clinical, like she was telling a story about someone else.

After they finished dinner, they brushed their teeth and got into bed. As he laid there in his pajamas, he still felt weird about how little of the day she’d had with him. “I apologize that all we really did together was dinner today. Was that alright with you?” He asked Maeve.

“That was fine.” Dr.Petrov answered. “Today was perfect.”