Service Ticket

Bill's job was to watch traffic. Not traffic with cars, but traffic on an app. A dating app.

It was so dumb.

Still, the job market wasn't strong in his field, or at least that's what he told himself as he got rejected for job after job. Maybe he should make a change. All his friends who went into the trades seemed to be happy, working with their hands, working on a team. Was it too late to learn something new?

An alert popped into his task window. An unusual amount of positive swipes were happening with one profile. Every user that had seen it, in fact. That didn't happen. It was probably a glitch. Putting aside the donut he was enjoying, Bill licked his fingers, wiped them on his jeans, then went to work.

It wasn't a hard job. The user interface for investigation could be operated by a twelve-year-old. That was fine. Bill didn't feel like working hard at his job anyway. Three clicks and he had found the name on the profile, as well its major sorting categories.

John Doe
Female - Lesbian
All Ages
All Interests

Already Bill could see one problem. Obviously John Doe was a male name. That kind of thing happened. Sometimes it was a mistake when people were setting up their accounts, sometimes it was on purpose, college boys trying to have a laugh. Usually the AI would flag an obviously male profile picture so an admin could audit the profile, but that didn't happen this time, unusual, but not impossible. It was an easy fix, but it didn't explain the traffic.

Then Bill went further. Two more clicks and he had the profile open. He could see everything, the entire setup, the profile picture.

Oh.

Of course.

He shook his head. It all made sense now. Normally a man shouldn't be in the lesbian category. Normally the app would be flooded with complaints. John Doe, though, was no normal man. Just by the looks of him, Bill could see why every lesbian on the app would want him. He was the kind of guy who should have all the lesbians he wanted.

John Doe had, of course, been at least a little selective, which was in his prerogative. He'd set the location range pretty tight, only people within a twenty-five minute drive of his physical location. And so far he'd only swiped for one woman, sent a bunch of messages back and forth, then closed the app. A shame, really. Bill was tempted to help him out, extend the range so that he'd have even more matches, or maybe browse some of the lesbians who had selected him, swipe for him.

But no, that kind of thing would get a person fired. And besides, it was up to John Doe to decide who he wanted and who he didn't. Bill's job was to make sure the app was working, not to play matchmaker.

And so he clicked a few more times, added an additional flag to the account to show that it had been verified, then closed the ticket. He picked up his donut and resumed his culinary experience. Maybe a change would be a good idea. At least if he got into the trades he'd have a chance of something interesting happening at work. As it was, his job was nothing but boredom.