Self-Awareness

“All right, faggot,” Amy says, and I smile at her affectionately, “Let's talk. You want to ask. Go ahead, slut.”

“You programmed me to react to being called certain things by smiling, and worshipping someone's cock if they have it out,” I lead, “So did you ... ?” Amy cuts me off by raising a hand, and shaking her head, rejecting the unasked question.

“Did I reprogram you to humiliate yourself and debase yourself in response to keywords?” she asks, then shakes her head, “No. Did I force you into self-degradation? Yes. Yes, I did. I did that by refusing to fuck you harder, not via brainwashing.”

“I only made it clear to you that no matter how much you like me fucking you,” she slides her hand up and cups my cheek, turning my face toward hers gently. “And no matter how much you wanted me to go faster, wanted me to go harder ... ?”

“It was not going to happen unless you were honest with me, and with yourself, you slut,” she tells me forthrightly, and I smile at her calling me a slut, which I know is a response she programmed. My cheeks warm, too, at her clear reassurance.

“Oh. Well,” I reply, “Thank you. You've been very patient, since you knew stuff about me I hadn't told you and wasn't even ready to admit to myself, entirely. Guess part of what you decided to do with the reprogramming was for my own good?”

“Bitch the whole thing's for your own good,” she replies snarkily, snickering at me, “I mean, I'm not getting nothing out of it, obviously, I get to fuck your whore ass all I like and take firsthand notes from an experiment ... which are helpful.”

“You did me a massive favour by agreeing to volunteer yourself to me,” she says warmly, cupping my cheek, still, “It felt like the least I could do to give you memories of being treated the way I know you like being treated, in a certain context.”

“Thank you, Amy,” I smile at her, subconsciously leaning my face into her touch. Her thumb brushes across my cheekbone and she smiles back at me, nodding. She pulls me close, putting her arms around me and drawing me into her embrace.

“I won't ever abandon you, and I won't ever betray you,” she promises, “I think you have trauma from a past life, or some shit, cause I know you do not have issues from this one.” I hadn't considered that, but it sounds like it certainly could be.

“So I inherited some other bitch's problems,” I mumble, “Just wonderful.” Amy snickers and rolls her shoulders in reply, brushing her cheek against mine. Then she turns her head, pressing her forehead to mine, and just looking into my eyes.

“Well, as your best friend and personal hypnotist,” she says lovingly, “You can trust me to stand with you and walk with you, every step of the way. And I'll have you know, I plan to live forever, so you're just gonna be stuck with me for life.”

“I think I can handle that,” I answer, and she smiles at me as I brush my cheek into hers, “You promise?”

“I promise, slut,” she replies confidently. I smile, and close my eyes, and let myself lean into her embrace.

“Thanks, Amy,” I murmur, and Amy lets us simply sit together, for a while.