Seeing the Therapist

You and your girlfriend had set out that morning to go to University; but whilst your girlfriend had to go to class 4B where the dreaded Nova was likely also attending - you yourself had an appointment with the therapist to keep. It all seemed rather surreal; to have drowned on your very first class only to be resuscitated by the one who had done the drowning, and then to find yourself being hurried into a shrinks office to talk about the whole experience.

You found yourself walking through the revolving door and into an air conditioned room that felt very relaxing almost instantly to the skin. The room was very oriental looking, from the fur rugs that lined the otherwise hardwood floor to the stone carvings that depicted eastern figures and symbology. Off to the side there was an incense stick that burned slowly; filling the room with its smoky fragrance.

Then, breaching through a beaded doorway - a slim Asian lady who looked to be somewhere in her 30's yet you couldn't place the year; greeted you with a warm but somehow clinical smile. Returning hers as you both reached for a hand shake at the same time but with mismatching arms; you both laughed at the awkwardness and then you used your other hand to greet hers properly this time.

"Miss Hina Sato, thanks for seeing me so soon." You said politely as you both pulled back from the shake.

"That's no problem at all Alex, how you feel?" She said in a kind of broken English, she was still legible but it was clear that she was a first generation immigrant to this country.

"I'm doing ok, all things considered." You said, but a sly look from the dark haired woman told you that she would be the judge of that.

"That good, well Mr. Alex, won't you follow me into counseling chamber? Better ambulance in there you see." She said as she motioned for you to follow her through the beads that had just appeared from.

"I think you mean to say ambience, miss Sato." You resisted the urge to laugh at the mistake.

"Oh that so? Well you know my last name Satō, not Sato." She corrected with a coy smile. Apologizing she merely motioned for you to follow her through the beds and into a warm and inviting room with a comfortable looking couch adjacent to her work desk where she could swivel her chair to be at her desk and easily turn to face the couch if need be. You don't know why but you felt very at ease in this room, the ambience certainly was better you had to admit.

"Please, take a seat while I bring up your file." Doing just that, you find a comfortable seat and eased into the leather couch. Before long she started flicking through what must be your University file; which included a bunch of your personal information; you even saw your enrolling picture that you had taken of you for the induction course when you were first entered into the system. But just then, it all happened so fast, but you saw a picture taken of a males engorged genitalia. You jumped at the sight, and just before she quickly scrolled past it - you could see what was unmistakably a pair of speedos hanging off of the man in the pictures thighs in the corner of the frame. Realizing that the photo was yours you stood up in protest.

"Was that picture taken from the nurses office?! I wasn't made aware that indecent pictures were being taken of me, what the fuck is going on miss Sato?!" You feel red beginning to tint your cheeks as you then realize that the woman sitting across from you had just seen you naked in perhaps the most compromised position you had ever been in your life.

"Relax Mr. Alex, I am trained professional. Nothing I haven't seen already, you know? And beside, you signed the forms and granted verbal permission to Mrs. Simmons to take measurement." She said in a soothing tone that shouldn't have worked, but you found her disarming tone to diminish your outrage nevertheless somehow.

"But... But why do you even need that information? And why would it be on my University file for any teacher or onsite worker with clearance to see? Surely this should only be on my medical file or something?" You tried to reason, however Hina just leveled you with her black eyes, shaking her head with a soft smile.

"No Alex, things are as they need to be for the course to work. But enough of that, we are getting distracted I think. This day is supposed to be about you; I see here that you had to be resuscitated after drowning in class the other day, let us begin there." She moved on with the session without giving you another chance to protest further; you were really starting to grow curious as to what this contract was exactly that you did sign if even teachers can see your wiener now at the click of a button... But anyway, you supposed it wasn't the end of the world.

"Yes, I drowned." You affirmed, still not wanting to expand on how or why yet despite knowing that you were perhaps only acting in your own worst interest by doing so.

"And then it say that Nova Pink, your swim buddy saved you? She must be a very competent girl." The woman praised, which you almost couldn't stomach. Involuntarily your mouth twitched at the mention of her name, even, and unfortunately for you - that action hadn't gone unnoticed by the shrink.

"You don't like this girl? You feel animalmossity to her?" She again spoke in broken English, and you assumed she meant animosity.

"Yes, I dislike her." You finally admitted.

"Why? Girl save you, you dislike?" She raised a brow.

"No, I don't dislike her for saving me, I dislike her for being a bully. She's always picking on me and I feel like I can't tell anyone about it." You blurt out, however Miss Satō didn't seem too convinced.

"Wrong does not wash out good, Mr. Alex. Do you think she bad person?" She asked, sighing you nodded your head.

"Yeah, I think she's a bad person. So what, you think because a bad person does a good thing then they should be forgiven?" You fire back.

"I think that the path to happiness rest in forgiving others. She bully you, then she save you. This good person who make up for bad thing, and even if she no do good thing; at least you should forgive her and move on. Dwelling on past is insecure behavior Alex, it not good for your psyche." You almost jumped out of your seat again when she called you insecure.

"I'm not insecure at all! She is an evil, abusive woman who enjoys my torment! How is not standing for that behavior insecure of me?!" You then realized that you were practically shouting at her and felt a rush of blood to your cheeks in embarrassment that she had managed to rile you up this easily.

"Ahh, so you have some insecurities that we need to address first and foremost." She began writing down in her little notebook. "What would you say is your biggest insecurity?" You looked at her incredulously and then sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. Fine, you were gonna play her game and see where it went.

"I guess I wish I was a little taller." You admit, whilst certainly true you could think of something a little more personal that you didn't feel comfortable enough to share with this woman yet.

"Height, on your file it say 5'8, is 5'8 not an average male height for American?" She asked with a discerning look.

"Yeah, more or less." You agree.

"No, you're not insecure about height. What are you really insecure about? This is place for truth, you cannot heal without truth. Please tell me, I am here to help you - not make fun." She saw right through you. Looking at her you could tell that she wasn't about to accept any other bullshit reason either. Thinking back to the pool, how Nova had treated you and all of the comments she had made about your cock - you began to open up to the Asian lady sitting before you.

"Fine." You grumble, your last line of surrendered resistance before you truly opened up. "I guess I've always been insecure about my... About my penis, about it's size." You could feel your cheeks flush red again at the admission, it felt so embarrassing finally admitting it to anyone - let alone an attractive Asian lady who was in all regards a complete stranger to you.

"I see, well from my file I see that at 4 inch erect that you are certainly under national average, are you scared that another will take your girlfriend away from you or something?" She asked pointedly, you almost didn't want to acknowledge the question but decided better against it.

"No, Stacy and I are in love. I don't worry about losing her because of my size, but I'd be lying I guess if I said that I don't feel like she might sometimes deserve better..." You shift in your chair uncomfortably as you admit much to your shamefully hidden feelings that you've had welling up inside of you without conscious consideration all this time.

"Do you think that bigger penis make for a better lover? Do you think Stacy would want bigger cock?" She asked you yet another pointed question. Thinking about it for a moment and actually picturing Stacy with a larger cock in her hand in your minds eye; you felt a sudden stab of pain as well as a flash of excitement - which you quickly subdued with a shake of your head.

"No?" You said it as more of a seeking question than as a resolute answer.

"I think you know that bigger is better, that why you're insecure for being small. Am I right?" You hadn't noticed when Miss Satō had scooted her chair so close to you, but you could practically smell her lavender conditioner she was so close now, gulping you looked away as her proximity was starting to make you stir a little downstairs for some reason.

"You watch lot of porn Alex?" She asked suddenly, looking back up at her with a shocked face, her piercing black eyes bore the truth right out of you with just a look.

"I guess so, at least I used to before I started dating Stacy." You admitted. It was true, you had been an absolute porn addict from your teens all the way up to your enrollment.

"And in those porn, do the women have sex with smaller cocks or bigger ones?" Her hands were on her thighs, almost parting them for you to look between - save for the knee high skirt that obscured what lay beyond. You could feel your heart racing for some reason, all these questions and the sudden change in atmosphere had you acting up and you didn't know why. Thinking back to all the porn you had watched, you realized that there had been a pattern the entire time. All of those women had slept with extremely hung men; pretty much every single one in fact.

"Bigger." You admitted, your eyes downcast and barely able to look back into her abyssal orbs.

"Bigger." She echoed in agreement. "Does that frustrate you? That those women in porn video would never choose you?" You nodded your head slowly.

"But why frustration? You already picked, Mrs. Stacy chose you no? Why frustration when you should be grateful?" She questions, and you supposed she was right; even if the statement felt a little insulting given the context. You were grateful; but what happens when Stacy no longer chooses you? Should you still feel grateful?

"I am grateful; but what if she becomes like those women in the pornos and starts only wanting big cocks?" You asked her, still unable to meet her gaze.

"Will you still love her? Even if she does?" She asked you. You thought on it for a while before you answered.

"Yes, I'll always love her." You admit, you couldn't even imagine a world where Stacy wasn't in your life any more. Just then you heard the alarm go off on her desk, signaling the end of your first session.

"This was good today Alex, I think we touch on some pretty important limiting factors you have, next appointment will be same time next week where we continue to develop treatment for these insecurities you have." Smiling Miss Satō got up from hew swivel chair and shook your hand for one final time before leading you out of her counseling chamber and back outside into the suddenly quite humid air. You supposed it was time to head back home, or do some grocery shopping to pick up a few things for Stacy first.