School comes back to haunt him

“So… how will you be training me?” John asked, eyeing the undead soldier with a mix of amusement and disgust.

Bagof shrugged his spectral shoulders. “Don’t rightly know. I’ve never taught anyone before, you see. And I think you ought to know I don’t want to teach anyone either.”

“Right,” John sighed, “but I’ve been **** here, and it sounds like you have too, so it looks like we’re stuck with each other until I’ve learned something.”

“Here’s something: I am very depressed,” Bagof sighed. “There, now you’ve learned something. Off you go.”

Thinking it couldn’t hurt to try, John cast Escape I.D.; nothing happened, as expected. “Welp, I’m still here. Looks like you’ve got more to teach.”

Bagof blinked at him with his one good eye. "Oh… you tried to cast a spell, did you? I thought you'd try to kill yourself. That's what I'd do, given the body to do it with."

“You really don’t want to teach me,” John observed.

"You think? And Goddess of All Creation decided I'd be the best teacher. Horrid isn't it? She could have at least given me a body that wasn't rotting like it had diarrhoea."

John was getting very impatient by this point. “Yeah well… can we just get on with it already?”

“In a hurry are we? Perfect,” Bagof nodded. “My old drill sergeant used to say ‘experience is the best educator’, so why don’t we start with a duel?”

“Sure,” John replied glumly as he drew his sword. His hopes for the exercise being time well spent were diminishing by the second.

He waited for Bagof to do something, but he just stood there, staring at John. “Oh…” the undead soldier said in a deadpan voice, scratching at a gaping hole in his kettle helm and raking out what looked to be brain matter from his head. He examined it with a blank expression before sticking it back where it belonged. “I don’t have a sword… I must have dropped it when I died…”

“So how are you going to train me?” John repeated, this time with a touch of sarcasm.

“Well… I suppose you could just swing your sword at me,” the ghost continued in a drawl. “I can just stand still like one of those straw dummies, and you can hack and slash at me all you like. Don’t worry about hurting me, I won’t feel a thing.”

So John did just that, and his sword swung uselessly through the soldier’s spectral body. Bagof gave no further instructions, so John just continued to swing the sword, feeling increasingly foolish as he did.

“Incredible,” the soldier said. “You’re even worse than I thought you’d be. I’d laugh at you… but I don’t particularly feel like it.”

John heard Saccharine guffaw from the sidelines, and he growled in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.

“Unless you truly intended on learning the old fashioned way,” continued Bagof; “I suggest we make a swordplay skill.”

It irked John that he hadn’t thought of that before.

Skill Unlocked: Swordsmanship (Passive)
The Gamer’s expertise with a sword. Increases damage with swords by 1%.

The creation of the skill led to a slight improvement in John’s ability, but it was a noticeable one.

“You know about my powers?” John asked.

“My spirit was only roused from the dead for the sole purpose of teaching you,” Bagof sneered. “Did you really think I wouldn’t be informed on who I’d be teaching?”

“Fair enough,” John sighed as he resumed the exercise.

"Much better," Bagof noted while scratching his spectral bum. "You're actually holding the sword with the correct grip now. Your steps have improved too. I'd be amazed, but your hand is being held by the Goddess of All Creation, so it's not actually all that impressive you're a fast study."

The soldier then relapsed into his blank stare. If he had kept silent, his pantomime of a training dummy would have been impeccable. “Well… this is rather dull,” Bagof said sourly. “Truly, it’s more entertaining watching the worms feed on your own corpse. You can stop now.”

“Wow, it almost sounds like you’re having more fun than I am,” John shot back as he caught his breath.

“‘Fun,’ he says,” Bagof grumbled. “Called from the grave just to be mocked by a boy with his lungs still intact… do you really think combat is something to enjoy? A misstep and you will be killed,” the ghost gestured to his own translucent body.

“You’re right,” John admitted before the dead man could go off on a longer tangent. “So can we get back to the training?”

“Urgh, we’re not done?” the teacher groaned, turning his gaze to the heavens. “What more do you want from me, damn Goddess?” he asked without breaking his monotone. After a long silence the soldier finally let out a heavy sigh; “Fine, it looks like we’ll be addressing a part of combat you’ve been neglecting: defence.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong. John’s current combat style essentially amounted to swinging his sword, dodging, and casting the occasional spell. He’d bought a Mana Shield spell, but truth be told, John had almost forgotten about it. He hadn’t used it once; when the opportunity to do so arose, he’d always just been able to use Dodge.

“I do have a shield spell. I’ve just never had to act defensively,” John admitted. “Most of the things I’ve versed have been too weak.”

“Just because you haven’t needed to use it doesn’t mean you won’t in the future,” Bagof scolded.

Again, he wasn’t wrong, especially since John’s life was on the line. Still, John hadn’t exactly heard anything earth-shattering to reflect the 59 wisdom Bagof supposedly had.

“So now we will focus on defence,” the spectral soldier continued. “I will attack you while you defend.”

“But that leads us right back to the problem of you not having a sword,” John pointed out.

This paused the soldier. He stared blankly at John while thinking of a solution. Then, after a bit of thought, the undead soldier let out another heavy sigh before his form became more tangible. "Oh, how I hate the feeling of being corporeal."

Curiosity got the better of John, causing him to poke Bagof’s leg with the tip of his blade, leading to a hunk of meat to spill out where John made the puncture. The soldier narrowed his one good eye, or at least, John thought he did. It was hard to say since the hair on Bagof’s brow had long since rotted off. “Was that truly necessary?” he asked.

“Quite.”

“Typical of a mage, really,” Bagof complained. “They never treat the dead with respect.”

All thoughts of a reply flew out of John’s mind as Bagof grabbed his left arm and yanked it off his shoulder. The arm went limp, but the fingers that hadn’t yet rotted off would occasionally twitch.

“So you’re going to beat me with your own arm?” John asked, unable to hide the disgust in his voice. There was no way he was letting himself be touched by that thing.

“Do you have a better idea? Because I’d oh so love to hear what a child with almost no real combat experience has to say.”

John didn’t quite grasp how that excused the absurdity of using his arm as a weapon, but whatever. “Fine. What do you want me to do?”

“I will attack you, and if you can’t figure out what to do from there, Gaia truly should give up on you,” the soldier drawled as he brandished his arm like a weapon.

John nodded and, after taking a brief moment to familiarise himself with Mana Shield, prepared to cast the spell.

Mana Shield - Level 1
Summon a temporary mana shield that is capable of blocking weak physical and magical attacks. 10 mp activation cost, then 1 mp per second of use.

‘Man, I really do need to level this up to make it more efficient,’ John sighed as he activated the spell and focused on generating a new skill.

New Passive Skill: Guarding
When using a shield or defensive spell, 1% more incoming damage is blocked.

Another passive that improved incrementally. ‘Fantastic,’ John thought as he turned his attention to warding off Bagof’s rotten arm. It wasn’t exactly a difficult task. The blows were slow and delivered without any enthusiasm. Really, the hardest part was not throwing up every time the arm squelched against the transparent shield or a chunk of meat sagged and fell off the bone.

Bagof hummed as he watched John closely. “Your technique is fine, but you seem to be failing to recognise a very important utility of your spell.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are too passive,” Bagof criticised. “You hide behind that shield and wait for your opponent to attack you.”

“I thought this was an exercise in blocking?” John asked irritated.

"No, this is an exercise in defence," the soldier snapped back, suddenly attacking John with far greater speed. John was **** to take several steps back to avoid getting hit by the bony arm. "One who hides behind his shield has no hope of winning. Defend, yes, but always do so while planning your next attack. Your spell allows you to summon a shield. Why not use this to surprise your opponent? Summon it at the last second before an attack lands, and seize the opportunity their confusion causes to land a counterstrike."

John could see the logic behind what the undead soldier was describing. He didn’t have a deep enough mana pool to do it on a regular basis, but it would certainly be useful in a pinch. As the bony arm swung in, aiming to backhand his face, John executed the move. The Mana Shield formed, causing the hand to bounce away upon contact and leaving Bagof’s guard wide open for a Counter.

Unfortunately, the soldier had become corporeal so that he could physically interact with John. So when John’s schiavona pierced the soldier’s stomach, it actually did damage, causing Bagof’s semi-liquefied bowels to spill onto the ground.

“Well now look what you’ve done,” Bagof sighed, glumly looking at a portion of his intestine dangling from his belly. “I do hope you’ve learned something because I refuse to fight any more like this.”

Achievement Unlocked: First Lesson
You completed a regime under a basic proficiency teacher. I bet you won’t ever be able to look at the skeleton in biology class the same way again.
+1 Stat point

Quest complete: Beta Tester
Dungeons Tested: (2/2)
Rewards:
750 XP
A Sticker

Item Acquired: Star Sticker
A star sticker for a super star. Given to John Newman by Gaia for being a good boy. Placing it on an article of clothing will consume it but will raise Charisma by 5 when that article is worn.

‘Nice,’ John thought, sticking it on his leather armour without much hesitation. Sure, you shouldn't be frivolous with one-time use items, but he got the sense that in the long term a difference of 5 wouldn't be all that great.

“Gaia seems to think I’ve learned enough,” John told his teacher. “I can go now.”

“Hurray,” Bagof said with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. “I can finally go find a hole to fall apart in.”

“Oh?” Saccharine called from the sidelines. “You two are finally done prancing like little girls and poking holes in each other?”

"Yep," John agreed, not in the mood to let her bother him.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” the fairy cried, springing into the air and gliding over to him. “Can we go kill some shit now?”

“Sounds good to me,” Red chimed in as she joined them.

“The sooner we can get out of here, the better,” John agreed, before turning to his undead teacher one last time. “See you later, Bagof.”

“Come now,” Bagof groaned, “don’t say that. I don’t want to ‘see you later’, I just want to die - again. So go away and don’t come back.”

The thought of meeting Bagof again wasn’t particularly thrilling for John either. “Yeah, I’ll try my best to avoid you,” he said before leaving the arena.

Author’s note: I forgot to add Mana Shield to John’s active skills way back when he got it in chapter 14. I won’t be going back and editing the sheets because its a pain in the arse and nobody seemed to notice anyway.