School's in for Rachel?

Ok, this is creepy. Why is it saying it's targeting Rachel? What even is it? Random remote? That means nothing to me.

I try to get it to turn off again. With no obvious power switch, or even a charging port, the other button seems a good a bet as any to turn it off.

The screen starts spinning slot-machine style, too fast for you to focus.

Shit, maybe pressing the big red button is not a great impulse when something is 'targeting' my coworker.

The screen finally settled while I was panicking, bringing my attention back to the remote with a soft chime.

Identity: SCHOOLGIRL

Attribute Received: THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

The Target will begin wanting to learn more about the world, finding themselves more willing to read and research for the sake of knowledge.

Well it didn't explode, or call in an airstrike on the pizzeria. Just gave me some sort of... horoscope? Actually, Rachel dropped out of college, didn't she? Something about the history department being run by a "useless sack of mierda," as I recall. Maybe she's thinking about going back to finish her degree.

I slip the remote into my pocket and leave the cooler with the packs of meat. Quickly prepping a bin, I join Rachel at the toppings station. The rest of your shift is uneventful, although Rachel did say she'll "look into that" after I asked a question about why onions taste better when they're cooked. Usually, she'd just laugh or make a brief guess before moving on.

My shift ends when Jacob came in, but taking off my apron reminds me of that weird device in my pocket. I'm definitely going to keep it, after all there's no sign of an owner.