Scene 19

Reaching over to the side of the bed Jackson clicked dismiss on the phone alarm as his phone sang its morning jingle to wake him up. Pulling himself free from his friend's grip, Jackson gave him a small shove so he knew his displeasure of the man cuddling into him. He felt a bit off, gassy and as he stood in the dark room he rubbed his asscheek with one hand, realizing one of the reasons he felt off his ass… his anus was incredibly sore. Not just that, but he was pretty sure he felt something leaking out of it. Moving quicker than he ever had this early in the morning he darted into the master bathroom, throwing the door shut as he sat down on the toilet. His awareness only let him in on the fact he was completely naked, well naked except the breast forms glued to his chest.

Sitting on the toilet he pressed his face into his hands as his body expelled things from his body. It felt both odd and painful as gas passed out of his system. ‘God I hope I didn’t shit the bed.’ Jackson thought to himself, worried he had let out a wet fart in the night and that was what was coming up. “What did I eat last night?” He felt incredibly hungry and couldn’t actually remember having dinner. “I came home after with Linc, Maddy wasn’t home and we…” Jackson’s eyes went wide as he parsed out something that happened through his hazy memories and hoped it was just a dream. He stood up from the white porcelain seat, flicked the light on to the bathroom and looked in the bowl. Seeing inside a small amount of waste, some blood and something whitish. The sight confirmed his hazy memory and made his sore rear end make much more sense. “Nooo, I didn’t, we didn’t.” He said trying to deny the truth.

Opening the bedroom door the light spilled into the dark room, Jackson dry swallowed as he looked at his friend in the bed, his back to him now. “Linc, LINC!” He called out, waiting only to see his friend stir before he continued. “Linc did we? Last night?”

Rolling over in bed Lincoln looked sleepily across his bedroom, he couldn’t really see Jacqueline other than the outline of her backed by the assaulting light from the bathroom. “Last night? What?” He licked his lip, his waking mind trying to get into gear an hour before his alarm normally went off. “Yeah.” His eyebrows went up as a thought hit him. “Did you want to do it again?!” The only reply he got was the bathroom door slamming closed. “Guess not… hope I didn’t fuck something up or do a bad job or…” His voice trailed off as he looked at the door with the light streaming in from the crack at the bottom. “Way to go, fucking things up already… or maybe I wasn’t good enough.” Lincoln closed his eyes again pondering just that.

While on the other side of the door Jackson pressed his forehead against the door, leaning on it as he squeezed his eyes closed tightly as he could. ‘What happened? What happed? What happed? Dunn!’ Opening his eyes once more he felt his stomach heave and the desire to vomit. Yesterday he had given a blowjob to his boss and then the man had told Lincoln that they had to be together as a couple or… he wasn’t sure if Dunn suspected their relationship wasn’t actually real or if Lincoln had thought he was on to them. “How would Dunn even know if we… shit, shit.” Jackson shook his head, stepping closer to the shower, wincing in pain with every step. He didn’t want to think about this. He didn’t want to think about how Lincoln had rammed his cock into his ass, how he remembered despite the pain that it had felt good, really good or the fact Lincoln had jerked him off while fucking him. “Fuck… fuck. Is Linc gay? No… its Dunn, god I hate that man.” Jackson whispered to himself as he turned the shower on wanting to scrub his very skin off.

The hot water on his skin felt practically rejuvenating as it and the steam brought his mind to full consciousness. The previous days events all coming to him, he wasn’t sure if the medication was supposed to affect his memory or not, or if it was a side effect of upping his dosage, but right now he could go for a large helping of forgetting everything and slip into a **** and **** induced coma. He held onto that thought as he got out of the shower and patted himself dry, he was ready to wrap the towel around himself to go fetch his purse and the pills within when the feeling of his now dry skin made him reach for his lotion. When that was done he wrapped a towel around his hair into a turban, not wanting to take the time to blow dry it before he got access to his pills, he opened the bedroom door surprised to see his sister sitting on the now blanket and sheetless bed. Maddy was dressed in a pair of incredibly small jean shorts and a yellow cami shirt.

“Good morning little sis.” Madison said with a big knowing smile on her face.

Looking at his sister Jackson took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Maddy, don’t, don’t start.”

“Aww, don’t be like that. The fact Lincoln tossed your sheets in the washer tells me we both got lucky last night and if you are anything like me you should be in a fantastic mood.”

“I didn’t get… Maddy I’m not talking about sex with you. Please don’t talk to me about your sex life, we don’t now, nor have we ever had that type of relationship.”

Crossing her arms Madison gave her sibling a small pout. “Fine, be that way, I just hope your man has at least half the stamina Callie does. Now come on then, I made sure to get home early to help you get dressed. Maybe today you should pick out what you are going to wear and I will approve and then before you know it you can dress yourself like a big girl.”

“Maddy…” Jackson stopped himself, deciding it was best to ignore her. She had literally picked out his entire feminine wardrobe so it wasn’t like he could pick something he actually liked, not that he liked wearing any of the girlie clothing. No matter how nice and soft some of it felt. Ignoring her he found his purse on the dresser, taking the pill bottle out he stopped, looked at his sister again. “Where is Linc?”

“Other shower, he said something about wanting to get in before you stole all the hot water like the other day.” Jackson nodded, taking two pills into his hand and dry swallowing them. He wasn't sure if he could look at his friend without a panic attack washing over him like a tidal wave. They had sex, his mind prompted him with that fact and that he had enjoyed it and he knew he shouldn’t. ‘It was just physical, it has nothing to do with desire, just a body acting to stimuli. I’m not gay, I like girls… god I wish I was with Callie last night or Lilian and even… anyone that wasn’t male.’

“Come on you, pick out what you are going to wear and then I will get your corset on.” Madison said as she got up from the bed and gave her siblings towel a tug a partial second before her own mind reminded her that despite appearances she had a brother not a sister.

By the time Lincoln came back into his bedroom to put on his shoes, the rest of his clothes for the day khaki pants, a light blue polo shirt and dark blue blazer already donned, Madison gave him a wave and motioned to the mostly dressed Jacqueline. Who wore her long black pencil skirt, with a nylon turtleneck ribbed knit burgundy sweater. “Hey again Madison.. I mean Maddy and Jacqueline, wow you look lovely as ever.”

Madison gave the man a wink before exiting the bedroom to leave the lovebirds alone. It was funny to her how her brother acted like he didn’t want this, didn’t want to live as a female. He had said how he was skipping work and drinking the day away and it had only taken a small reminder that she was in her first ninety days and could be fired for any reason. If Jackson didn’t really want to be Jacqueline a bigger fight would have taken place. Jackson often did what Jackson wanted, and considering what she had seen, Jackson wanted to be Jacqueline and Jacqueline wanted to be with Lincoln. Linc was bigger that Jackson, but not by enough to **** something to happen and even then it wouldn’t account for what she knew the two had done before. She gave a few final shakes of her head before heading into her own room, unlike her little sister she was taking a half day from work, wanting to get a few more hours of sleep after a long wonderful night.

In the master bedroom Jackson tilted his head to the side to put in the heavy thick cheap golden hoop earring into one ear, a small pleasant smile on his face. His rear still hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as bad after a few aspirin and now that his medication had kicked in everything that happened seemed a lot less like the sky is falling, doom is upon us and it all just fit better into perspective. Or it did when the pills first started to kick in, Linc and him did what they had to do for their role. The villain was Alexander Dunn, Lincoln did what he thought they had to do. He was playing the part of Jacqueline and it was okay for it to feel good. Things were just so much easier to put in their places when he wasn’t worried and stressed out about everything. He didn’t remember being this high strung before, that was Linc’s job and soon Linc would have an amazing job, Jackson just had to help him get there so his friend could help him. When the pills really started to take hold though the problems from before were mostly forgotten as unimportant as the world felt more and more dream-like.

Tying one of his shoes Lincoln mentally tried to build up enough courage to talk about last night. He couldn’t get it out of his head that he did something wrong or was just a bad fuck. Everything was wonderful if not a little confusing for him, but he wasn’t the person going through a massive change and wanting to explore their sexuality. He was just afraid of the truth, he wasn’t big enough, or didn’t last long enough or just didn’t know what he was doing. With one deep breath he looked over to Jacqueline who had her head tilted to the side, looking in a mirror as she put on her second earring. “Jacqueline, honey.” He paused to see if she would reject the nickname, but when she didn’t say a thing he continued, taking note that she at least was looking at him through the mirror. “I wanted to talk about last night, did I do okay? Did you enjoy yourself? What can we do better? And do you even want to do it again?” The questions came flooding out of his mouth one after the other, he wanted to get them all out before he lost his nerve. He was not the confident type, most of what confidence he had was bluster that he had sort of grown into. When he was younger, a senior in highschool he had asked a single girl out for prom and lost the nerve to ask another after the first rejection, ending up going with his cousin. His friends thought he had a date, but all he really had was a cousin a few years older that refused to let her favorite and only cousin go stag.

The mention of the night before made Jackson’s smile shift only slightly, his ass twitching as the memory of something inside of him pulsing. There was something psychological about the act, how Linc hadn’t hesitated there didn’t seem to be any shame, just openness and even now he was asking questions so it could be better. All of that mixed with the off putting notion of having sex with a man and his own shame. Moving away from the mirror Jackson patted his friends cheek, he wanted to reassure him that nothing was wrong, when he knew there was. Lincoln was just doing what he thought they had too, but he needed to think it over the words and how to same them to Linc were just too far out of his grasp at the moment. “Everything is fine… later okay?”

A hesitant smile came to Lincoln’s face, growing wider with each passing second. He took Jacqueline’s hand, her standing and him still sitting, he kissed her fingers gently. ‘Everything was fine, and she wants to do it again later!’ Standing up he put one hand on her hip and looked into her soft brown eyes. “Later, yeah, yeah. Maybe after work or… we can use the supply closet again.” He grimaced thinking about what his boss had told him about being discreet. “Well not at work, but that would be hot right?” He took her smile as a yes and he excitedly handed his girlfriend her purse so they could start the day.

Getting to the office Jackson gave a small peck to Lincoln’s lips without thinking about it as they parted ways, him saying something about a day of virtual seminars and maybe something else, it was hard for him to focus with the much needed double dose of Lexapro in his system. He had even had a conversation with Lilian that morning with Linc at his side, but only a few minutes later he wasn’t sure of a single thing they had spoken about.

Stepping into the breakroom in the morning the **** induced smile on his face increased in volume as he saw Tabitha along with some of the other office staff and her holding out an already made cup for him. “Tab! Thank you!”

The petite blonde gave her friend a wink. “Figured I would save you the time.”

Taking the mug of offered coffee Jackson leaned against the counter next to her and let out a sigh of contentment at getting to see the girl's sexy smile everyday. Having to dress the part of an attention seeking secretary, right down to the unprofessional five inch heels was horrible, getting to spend time with Tabitha was like a balm to sore skin. “You look sexy… I mean beautiful today Tab.”

The blonde administrative assistant raised a single perfectly arched eyebrow at the statement. “You are a doll, I needed that this morning. I swear I had to wrestle with my hair this morning. Sometimes I love my long hair, other times I want to go and chop it all off. Do you think I would look good with the same lob as you?”

‘Doll, hair…’ It took a moment for his mind to catch up with the fast spoken young women, but before he could answer she shook her head.

“Your right, your right.” She held up her hand. I would regret it later. Now enough about me, well…” she took a partial step closer and leaned in a little closer, Jackson able to feel her hip touch his as she half whispered. “The heavens know I could use a few more with the caliber of man I have been pulling.” She gave a small shug before leaning back, but didn’t back away. “Now you tell me, anything fun planned today or night?”

“I have to get Mr Dunn his coffee.” Jackson said holding up the mug she had given him, causing Tabitha to roll her eyes.

“Unless that is a euphemism for something, I meant fun. My last date was a total bust, the man or man child lived in a converted garage at his parents house and streams video games for a living.” She made air quotes at the word living.

Taking a breath in with his upper chest thanks to the tight corset Jackson smelled a mix of the pretty women’s perfume and the coffee, both smelled delicious. “Umm… Abe. I mean Mr. Downings is going to cook me a real German meal tonight. I swear I haven’t had anything to eat other than a pair of diet shakes in the last two days, I’m famished.”

The grin on Tabitha’s face turned into one more wolfish. “Oh, you are Mr. Downings huh? Well don’t starve yourself too much or you won't have the stamina for what that six foot tall drink of water has for you.”

Just thinking about the food in store for him Jackson licked his lips. “That will not be a problem, I’m ready for it all.” The blonde girl gave a merry laugh at their barely disguised conversation, Jackson’s mind unable to grasp the thinly veiled words or realizing how many other admins were fluttering about the area and hearing everything that was being said.

“Alright well you go euphemism with your boss and I will message you later.”

Walking out of the breakroom Jackson gave a single knock to the partially opened door to his bosses office before stepping in. He had taken a single step in when Dunn looked away from his computer screen. Jackson reflexively gave a bright smile back at the man when his face lit up as he came into the private office. “Shut the door, would you sweetcheeks.” It had been phrased as a question, but it was anything but.

Turning to do as he was told, the coffee mug still in hand Jackson stopped moving as his long nailed fingers touched the door handle. Looking over his shoulder, Jackson turned away from the door, leaving it open as he walked over to the desk. ‘Solved that.’ Jackson congratulated himself, happy that his muddled mind remembered what had happened the last time the door had been closed. Moving just a few more steps Jackson placed the coffee on the desk, the swirl of the dark liquid as it moved reminded him that while talking with Tabitha he hadn’t gotten any for himself.

Distracted the feminized man didn’t notice Alexander slide his chair back from his desk and pat his lap. “Come on over here and take your seat.”

“Hmm?” Jackson looked up from the mug of coffee he blinked slowly once. “Oh…” Turning his head slightly Jackson glanced at the open door before moving around the desk, sitting slowly on the older man’s lap. It wasn’t the first time Jackson had sat in Dunn’s lap, but every time brought a similar uneasy feeling.

“You know, yesterday was a lot of fun.” Alexander said as he moved his right around to wrap around his pretty secretaries side and rest on her stomach, while his left lightly caressed her thigh through her tight pencil skirt. “Do you like working for me Jacqueline?”

The answer was no, in a profound way, but that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. With a small swallow Jackson nodded his head, ready to give an interview-like answer that he was happy to have a job at Mega Corp, but movement outside the open office door caught his attention. It wasn’t much, another office girl was just picking up some file folders from his desk, but she had made eye contact with him. The sight of the young woman had shifted what little focus he had from the question, it completely forgotten. ‘She saw me sitting… What was her name?’

Alexander smiled seeing the pretty thing in his lap nod, she had opened her mouth to say something then looked to the door she had purposely left open. ‘She left it open on purpose and then didn’t say what she wanted, afraid someone would overhear… did she leave it open for a thrill?’ He felt his dick twitch as she shifted slightly, thinking the little vixen was in a teasing mood, but they were past that. “You know Jacqueline, I think I am going to need a little extra effort from you. With things changing around here there is a lot of pressure and stress, do you think you can help me with that?”

Feeling himself being pulled tighter to the suited man Jackson placed his palm on his chest, wishing he could push to give them some space, but sitting in his lap there would be none of that. ‘Extra work? So long as it gets me away from you.’ He thought, as he smiled, looking into Dunn’s blue eyes. “You know me, happy to help!” Jackson said cheerfully, his foggy mind already thinking about fetching files and making copies of things before putting things together in binders with color coded tabs.

“I knew you would, leaving the door open like that was on purpose wasn’t it?”

Pressing his lipstick covered lips together in a line Jackson nodded, unable to contain his smile for long, happy his plan as simple as it was, had worked.

“Perfect, just perfect.” Alexander wanted to stand the girl up so she was facing the open door and bend her over his desk to fuck her, but that wasn’t something that could be done to the little minx with her coy smile. “Then the first thing I need you to do is crawl under my desk, do you think you can fit in there?”

Jackson cocked his head to the side slightly before glancing down at the enclosed space under the solid wood desk, unsure exactly what the task was. ‘Not a lot of space under there, way more than under mine. Abe has a bigger desk then I do… heck my cubicle had more space but.. Well those desks are more like tables.’ His mind rambled on, happily getting off the man's lap and squatting down on his heeled feet to peek under the desk. “Not a lot of space…”

“You will fit just fine, turn around and back yourself in.” Alexander said, interrupting her, his hand reaching out to his assistant’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Okay, I guess.” He said scooting back having to get onto his knees. There was enough room for a person to kneel under the desk if they bent over and a little space on either side. ‘Oh no! No, no, no, no.’ The voice in his mind dwindled as it finally occurred to him what was going on. Extra effort, stress… getting under the desk and what that all had meant.

“Hiring you may have been one of the best decisions of my life.” Alexander said as he moved his chair a little closer to his desk, spreading his legs wide as he looked down into the girls wide soft brown eyes. His hands unbuckling his belt and opening his pants. “No one can see you down there, with the door open it still will be our little secret.”

The floaty feeling that accompanied the double dose of the Lexapro didn’t subside in the situation, and it didn’t allow for panic to take over or extremes of any emotions. It didn’t make him an unthinking, unfeeling robot, but it did make things seem better, especially mixed with the estradiol, the combination keeping serotonin lingering in his brain. When the semi erect male member was freed from the pants in front of him, Jackson’s eyes looked left and right. There was no escape. The options for freedom seemed limited to ****, yelling for help and doing what was wanted. The first two options would end everything, the last would put more than just a bad taste in his mouth. “I, I, I…” He started to say out loud, mentally completing the sentence. ‘I don’t want to do this.’ But flashes of himself, Linc and his sister all sitting on the curb homeless because they couldn’t afford a place to live all because of him.

‘I’m… I’m Jacqueline, I’m Jacqueline Hart, just a bimbo secretary. Just a bimbo… till Linc is in charge… then I will be… NO! Don’t think about that, we have to focus on now!’ Without any real thought Jackson’s long nailed fingers had only taken the semi flaccid dick in hand as his mind stuttered with almost every word it thought of as he almost lost track of himself looking a the monster in front of him. Leaning closer Jacqueline opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue to take dick-tation from her boss.

The word no repeated over and over in Jackson’s mind, along with wishing he would just hurry up and cum. Despite wanting no part in the sexual act he was very much a part of as the dick twitched, grew harder and the man above grunting in pleasure along with the happy little chemical floating around in his brain told him he was doing a good job. With precum swimming around in his mouth Jackson felt both disgusted and happy at the same time.

“That's it… ha… that's it.. Ah, ah, ah. Oh, yeah Jacqueline you are the perfect little cocksucker. Yeah…” Alexander whispered, one hand under the table helping the girl keep her rhythm as she took to her duties like a duck to water. “I’m tempted to farm out your work and just have you do this all day… god that feels good.” The word of praise didn’t help the situation, but the way they interacted with the increased levels of happiness and optimism from his ****-addled mind gave Jackson a confusing sense of pride at doing a good job, but didn’t change the overall feeling of disgust.

When things were over, Jackson climbed back to his shaky feet, one hand on the desk and the other taking Dunn’s hand to steady himself he let out a small whimper. It made Alexander smile hearing the girl make the forlonging sound, sad that it was over. He pulled a tissue from a box and handed it to her so she could wipe the corner of her mouth where some of his seed and dripped from her mouth. ‘I know she…” Alexander looked the girl up and down, seeing no trace of who she really was, or who she used to be. “How was this broad ever a man, never much of one… are all people like her cock hungry? No, I think I lucked out with this one.’

Without a word Jackson wiped this mouth, wiping away the last remaining traces of lipstick and freeing his mouth and chin of the white sticky fluid. His stomach churned as he took the mug of coffee he had brought into the room and took a large gulp of the now much cooler liquid before turning around and mincing out of the office, wanting to get to his desk and purse as quickly as possible. Getting there Jackson opened his bottom desk drawer retrieving his small purse and taking out another pill and swallowing it.

Sitting down in his chair Jackson clutched the purse to his stomach, it was only Tuesday and he had given two blow jobs and had been fucked. It felt like the worst week of his life and as fucked up as it was he was somehow still feeling like he was in a good mood. Opening the purse he pulled out a business card for Kimberly. He needed to call his therapist, he needed her to say everything was going to be okay… somehow he would be okay.