Salutations

((Author's Note: The paternity leave ended up a bit longer than expected for a variety of reasons that more or less came down to slowing my writing pace to less than a chapter per two weeks. I have now realized that that isn't a problem if I do monthly chapters while working on getting back up to pace, so that's what we're doing now. Aside from a small calendar snafu, that means I'll now be publishing chapters on the first Wednesday of the month until further notice.

If you would like to support my work, or just want to read more than one chapter today, feel free to check out my Patreon))

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“Can I at least convince you not to call me a saint, whether you’re talking to me or someone else?” John had largely given up on talking her out of it entirely, thanks to Gaia’s timely intervention. At least the notion was unlikely to survive the gnomish pinkette realizing that John was sexually involved with both Marisa and Qhila. “Actually, since she only sends Quests and communicates through my powers, the details may be covered under the oath in the first place…”

“Yes s- sir! I’ll get my gear so we can get started right away!” Charlotta seemed to have recovered from the religious awe fairly quickly, returning to the energetic enthusiasm that had dominated her demeanor since it sank in that John could save her dream from the limitations of her race. Meanwhile, Marisa was still giggling on the floor.

“Hold your horses!” John’s words came out more forceful and commanding than intended as a result of urgency. Charlotta already had a hand on the doorhandle in the moment it took to say three words. She stopped in her tracks and looked back at him, eyebrow and ears angled in quizzical confusion.

“I’m interviewing for Apothecary apprenticeship on Wednesday, and since my odds of success mainly comes down to knowledge and a few Skills, I’m focusing my free time on that until then.”

“But the Lady gave you a Quest?”

“Yeah, but she gave me one for the Apothecaries too. Well, strictly speaking it is more general and the Apothecaries is how I chose to complete it. In any case, I’ve got a couple open Quests right now, look.” He opened his Quest Log and pulled up a bunch of them, though he skipped over the sex related ones, hoping the perky gnome wouldn’t ask about those.

“Here’s a thing we might get on before Wednesday though.” He opened the tooltip for a lesser rare candy and slid it over. “I have a few of these, and we’re trying to confirm that they’re safe for mundane use. If you’re willing to eat one-”

“Yes!” She thrust out her hand enthusiastically.

“-while L- Christie’s father checks if it’s safe for her to have them,” he finished his sentence, causing some of her enthusiasm to be replaced with confusion.

“Why wouldn’t it be safe?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but it’s something about noticing magic. She’s, practically speaking, a mundane right now, and for some reason it’s dangerous for her if that changes too fast. Also, her father is an Abyssal nobleman and I get the feeling that he has got a lot of enemies that wouldn’t balk at attacking him through his daughter.”

“How does an Abyssal have a mundane daughter?” Marisa had finally managed to pick herself up from the floor, and unlike Charlotta’s wide eyed curiosity, the frost fencer’s tone held clear suspicion.

“Adoption. But also she’s not actually mundane, or at least she doesn’t have the Veil. But he has made it very, very clear that noticing magic is dangerous for her if not handled very carefully. No word on why that is, but I suspect it has to do with some sort of trauma.”

“Still sounds sketchy,” Marisa opined, “but I suppose there isn’t really a way for an Abyssal kid to end up needing to be adopted that ain’t gonna make them a little fucked in the head. Still, how sure are you that you can trust this guy?”

“Trust him to prioritize his daughter’s wellbeing? Very. Beyond that, not at all. But he’s a Demigod, and as far as I can tell probably closer in power to Wentworth than Lord Brighton. So the only thing I can realistically do to make sure he doesn’t hurt people around me is be friends with Christie.”

“Well, shit, Johnny, you really jumped in the deep end there.”

“If the Lady wants you to help his daughter, he can’t be that bad,” Charlotta commented in a tone of ironclad optimism.

“Well, he did all but tell me outright that he has had someone skinned, though if I read the implications correctly, that someone was a child molester. So, uh, in total I’m not certain that he isn’t an evil piece of shit but I’m not certain that he is one either. Regardless, his daughter is possibly the kindest person I’ve met.”

“Maybe if he is evil, she’s the path to his redemption then?” the gnome suggested. “In any case, I’m on board with the candy test.”

“Great. There is one more thing we should cover sooner rather than later, but I need to go talk to someone first and I can’t really ask you to just sit on standby…”

Charlotta thought about that for all of a fraction of a second before turning to Marisa. “Can I open a barrier to practice in your back yard?”

“Sure, knock yourself out.” Marisa shrugged, then threw John a sly smirk while the gnome was turning towards the door. “Actually, I’ll tag along. Can’t spar with ya, but I’ll take a look at your form. Word on the street is you’re mostly self-taught.”

---

“I found us a tank! Or well, Marisa did most of the finding, but still.” John triumphantly entered the barrier in the basement where they had set up Qhila’s lab equipment.

“A tank? What are y-” The exact moment where she recalled the video game terms from conversations while grinding was marked by her expression changing from confusion to alarm. “You did what!?! You are aware that until we’ve got a guild at our back, anyone we tell about us, or worse yet, your Innate Ability, is a huge risk, right??”

“Yes, I’m well aware. But she swore a blood oath of secrecy before I told her anything.”

“A blood oath…” Qhila rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. “So she’s bloody nuts but at least she’ll keep quiet. Where the hell did you find someone willing to swear a blood oath to someone they just met?”

“She’s a gnome who really wants to be a knight. Enough so to give up her home to try to join the GRO. But because of the whole feeble races thing, they said no to taking her in for a combat role, which she was pretty broken up about. I offered to help her become a knight protector of healers instead, if she helped me become the best healer, apothecary or otherwise, I could be in return, but she’d have to keep quiet about things early on. Then she swore the oath on her own initiative.”

“Nuts it is,” she declared firmly, with a muttered addition of, “guess that makes three of us.”

“If it helps, she has accepted fully that we aren’t going to work on Leveling her until after the interview with the Apothecaries, with possible exception of a rare candy test with Lord Chastain-Wessel. I do think you two should meet though, as it's only going to be more awkward the longer we hold that off…”

Qhila hesitated for a long moment, then sighed. “... I guess we should. But not in the lab. I’ll put up a new barrier in the living room.”

---

Charlotta hadn’t had time to actually start training. She had just gotten changed into a set of armor that conspicuously lacked a breastplate, leaving her torso clad in just cloth. Her chest looked notably smaller as well, presumably the result of a compressing bra.

Thus, he walked a half-armored gnome through Marisa’s garden and his own, quietly thankful that the barrier exit grace period saved him from having to explain that to the other neighbors if anyone saw.

“Charlotta, this is my friend and recently roommate Qhila. Qhila, this is Charlotta.”

The aspiring knightess had contained her excitable energy well enough on the walk, but that ended as soon as they were inside the barrier where Qhila was waiting. Charlotta broke into a half-run while John was still speaking, grabbing the stunned looking Qhila’s hands. “Salutations! I can’t put into words how happy I am to meet Saint John’s first disciple! I am Charlotta Selrhana Minwyn Eiliceli Priwyn Welli Celdysa Minfi Venfi Faetina Pripine Fapplestamp Zeddlereddle Hinggetesamp Daepatis Bafflehold Gosgrasanell Salbebidors Sprocketeer Tuknai, Abyssal Knight Hospitaller to be. I hope we will be the very best of friends!”

All of that came out in such a rapid fire pace that it took John a full second of digesting to actually understand a word of what she had said. Complete non-comprehension was written plainly on Qhila’s face, which was very understandable given her modest grasp of English.

“Charlotta, remember to talk slowly and clearly. Like I said, Qhila is still working on her English. And please stop with the ‘Saint’ stuff. Qhila isn’t my disciple, she’s my friend.”

“Saint? Disciple?” Qhila’s expression and tone made it clear that even though she’d been able to actually catch the words at John’s slower pace of speaking, they were not words that she actually knew.

“[Saint and Disciple. Gaia popped into the party chat while I was showing her the ropes…]

Qhila sighed at the explanation of that, which did nothing whatsoever to deter Charlotta from presenting a revised introduction with the same enthusiasm as before, but in a more non-native English speaker friendly pace, at least. “Salutations! I can’t put into words how happy I am to meet Sa- ehrm, a friend of John’s. I am Charlotta Selrhana Minwyn Eiliceli Priwyn Welli Celdysa Minfi Venfi Faetina Pripine Fapplestamp Zeddlereddle Hinggetesamp Daepatis Bafflehold Gosgrasanell Salbebidors Sprocketeer Tuknai, Abyssal Knight Hospitaller to be. I hope we will be the very best of friends!”

The deluge of middle names had already seemed long in rapid fire, and being presented in an otherwise sane speaking pace, the length of her name just seemed ridiculous. Part of him suspected it of being a joke, but on the other hand this certainly explained why the Developer had put [...] in between the first and last name in her nameplate and Observe.

After a moment to digest the, now intelligible, introduction, Qhila replied, “Let us not decide friends before we know how get along…”

The kobold took a step back, removing her hands from Charlotta’s, and turned towards John. “Did you put plate on Auction?”

“I didn’t. I thought we should get it appraised first, to set the minimum bid. But I never got around to asking how discreet we could trust Karason to be. Now though, you’re right, we have a much better use for it.” While John responded, Charlotta tilted her head quizzically, evidently undeterred by Qhila’s hesitance to declare immediate friendship.

Instead of answering the aspirant knightess’ unspoken question with words, John put a finger on her arm and willed his inventory to put the Plate of the Hound on her. Charlotta hit accept on the prompt without hesitation and the steel plate with pug-head pauldrons appeared on top of her clothes.

While the gnome patted the armour all over as though she was making sure it was actually real, her ears started wiggling wildly in joyous excitement. Then, she practically jumped at him, wrapping her arms as far around his midsection as she could reach. “Thank you, thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou.”

Apparently oblivious to the fact that she had just essentially pressed her face against his groin, she let go and turned to presumably tacklehug Qhila as well. The bottom heavy kobold had clearly come to the same conclusion, and if her raised hands were anything to go by, wasn’t too keen on that.

John put a hand on Charlotta’s shoulder at the last moment, holding her back lightly. Not enough for her not to tear free in her excitement, but the momentary resistance was enough, combined with Qhila’s gesturing, that the gnome did stop halfway between Gamer and kobold.

“I… I guess I got a little carried away. Sorry.” A blush spread on her cheeks as she spoke, while poking the tips of her fingers together.

“Don’t worry too much about it, it is an awesome armor.” John chuckled and slid over its item description. “Especially when you see the enchantments.”

While Charlotta’s happy ear wiggles revived, John smugly added,