Ryan doesn't actually have a plan

"Well, we gotta be together first. Do you teleporty thingy to me," Ryan says on the phone.

"Um, I don't even know where you are," you respond.

"I'm at home, duh!"

"Yeah, I need a little more than that. I've never been to your house-" You're interrupted by the sound of a message on your phone and you see it's a selfie from Ryan in his house. Hanging up, you activate your magic ring and teleport to Ryan, who's just standing the middle of his living room in shorts and a t-shirt. He's not exactly dressed for a bachelor party, but neither are you.

"So... what's the plan?" you ask.

Ryan laughs and walks over to you, throwing an arm around you as he takes a selfie with you together. "Oh man, where do I even begin?"

"How about start with where we're going?" You're intrigued, but also a little annoyed. Then again, it's not like you have any other guy friends at this moment and Ryan is your best bet.

"Well... I was thinking..." Ryan starts to say, leaving your side and starting to walk around the room. You're pretty sure he has no plan, but you decide to let him continue to improvise.

"Uh huh..." you say.

"Well, you already that awesome beach party orgy, so it's not like going to a strip club would be even more fun. In fact, it would be less fun because you're not allowed to touch," Ryan says.

"I'm the Ringer. I can do what I want..."

"Exactly! So why just do that? Right? Why not do something crazy?"

"Like what?" You smirk and raise your eyebrows.

"How about a devil's threeway?"

"What's that?"

"You know, 2 guys and a girl," Ryan explains, holding up his hand and making a horn sign with his fingers.

"And you'd be the other guy?"

"Yup! Exactly. Think about it! 2 best buds connect through 1 woman! That's brotherhood and a celebration of... life!" Ryan exclaims, his eyes lighting up.

"And the woman would be... Blake?"

He shakes his head immediately. "Oh, no. No. No, she doesn't not like devil's theeways. Trust me. She would rather just do you."

"Are you offering?" you ask with a grin.

Rather than look offended, Ryan actually seems to be giving your joke serious thought, but he shakes his head in the end. "Nah. I mean, I could ask her and I'm sure she would say yes. She raved about you on the beach by the way," he says in his classic rapid Deadpool talking style, "Loved that cock. I didn't even dare to ask how I compare. But, no. Dude. Bro. That's nothing special. You can bang my wife any night. No, you gotta bang the unbangable." Ryan's eyes go wide like he's suddenly thought of a good idea.

"The unbangable?"

"You know, the unbangable! Like, someone you wouldn't be able to bang normally."

"I'm not sure if you know this, but Kate Middleton's right now back at my mansion and I can-"

"Oh, I know. Alex told Blake and Blake told me. Jealous, dude. I'm going to want pics. So you banged a princess. But have you banged a queen?"

You snort in derision. "That's gross. The queen's like 80."

"90, actually, I think. No, not the queen queen. Something like a queen."

"The first lady?" you suggest.