Running the Gauntlet, by wrynn

“Uggggghhh…”

“Gina please.”

“It’s another cow-guy story!”

“Yes, but…”

“What, Marcie?”

“It is set in the same universe as the pirate story we covered recently.”

“...so?”

“Is that not exciting?”

“No.”

“We can compare the two and make fun of wrynn for being inferior.”

“Oh! Yeah, I guess, that’s pretty fun.”

“Thus we are reading Running the Gauntlet, by wrynn.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Ok, first chapter is just some random nerd bullshit. Is this the devil story all over again, Marcie?”

“Come now, Gina. The pirate story started out like that too. And you liked that one.”

“I tolerated that one.”

“That is good enough for me.”

“Ok, what the fuck is this actually about? I don’t speak nerd and I understood fuck all about the pirate story, except that it’s about a guy wanting to become Pirate king.”

“Well, the gist is that a mysterious company called “The Company” forces people to playtest their games. These games are all about capturing girls and having them fight for you while leveling up.”

“So, it’s basically Pokemon but sexy.”

“Pretty much.”

“You know who made a sexy Pokemon story once?”

“Well, that is an odd tangent to…”

“FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!”

“Gina, please focus.”

“Alright, alright. You can dress it up as much as you want this is basically a story about a guy with a **** device who enslaves and sell girls. Awesome. What a swell guy.”

“To give full disclosure here. It is (technically) possible to enslave and sell guys too.”

“Uhu and is that actually going to happen?”

“Well, the story is called Waifu Catalog not Husbando catalog. I actually think this branch is a more orthodox example of the general premise of this story.”

Next question, what was my key quest in this world? Bringing up quests on my smart device showed me. Main Quest: Princess Quest, capture 5 or more Disney Princesses. Rewards granted for each capture as key quest milestones.

“Another Disney mention. Wow, this is what? Like the sixth story in a row that does that? Kinda creepy.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call this one a mere mention, Gina. It is a whole new world of Disney feature films. Somewhat like the Kingdom Hearts story we read.”

“Don’t mention that abomination.”

“Moving on with this story.”

"But of course." I swung free of my horse and landed before him, then showed him my signet ring. "I am Prince Guy of Fawkes. I have come seeking Prince Henry to beseech his help in a quest my father has sent me on."

“I want to **** this fucker already.”

“Our guy, literally called Guy, starts out relatively harmless by saving Cinderella from her evil step-mother. Cinderella is of course very grateful for that.

"That's fantastic, you're an outstanding servant Ella, and I accept your love. Go fetch the small square flat object in my bags that looks like it's made of glass."

“That’s his reaction to a love confession. What an asshole.”

“Yes, our guy certainly does not let morals hold him back from enslaving girls. He does treat her nice at least.”

“I mean, yeah, as nice as you can treat your brainwashed fuck puppet.”

“True, the **** rings Guy puts on his victims not only makes them submissive and in love with the master, they also suppress any negative thoughts they could have about their fate of enslavement.”

“With one princess done Guy quickly moves on to the Evil Queen from Snow White. She’s a pretty iconic villain, so she should be a bit of a harder catch, but of course she’s not!”

“True. The Evil Queen and Snow White fall almost obnoxiously easy to Guy and his wily schemes of...sweet talking them into putting on the **** bracelets.”

“Oh yeah, this shit is absolutely the fucking devil story all over again.”

“Well, let us not be to hasty, Gina.”

“Seriously, Marcie. We should just link to that one and call it a day. I know exactly how this is going to go. Our Mary Sue protagonist is waltzing into each and every Kingdom and enslaves the princesses there. Effortlessly.”

“Uh...surely there will be some tension. Eventually.”

"Great, work on making a potion that would greatly increase the size of a woman's breasts.

“There’s your fucking tension.”

“You know how I feel about breasts jokes, Gina.”

“And you know, wasn’t Snow White supposed to be super ultra beautiful or something? Like of all the Disney princesses, you change the one that is literally supposed to be the picture of beauty?”

“Maybe it is the Rachel Zegler version?”

“Ok fair, but Guy Sue isn’t just satisfying himself with princesses either. He adds some villain into the mix as well. Like the Evil Queen obviously but there is also Gothel and Maleficent.”

“It does get crowded fast.”

“And these villains are not treated equally. Not sure what Guy’s hate boner is with Gothel but fuck her in particular, I guess, which he doesn’t do. He just hands her over to her daughter for some **** play. Check another fetish off the list, Marcie.”

“And speaking of his fetishes...Gothel.”

“...what?”

“GOTHel.”

“Ah.”

“The pun writes itself, but does wrynn do anything with it? Nooo, he rather transforms Snow White into a goth. Where is the Goth pun in Snow White, huh? There is no Goth pun in Snow White! In fact Snow White would be the exact opposite of a Goth!”

“Eh, I’m pretty sure wrynn forgot Gothel exists halfway through this.”

“Which only adds to his crimes.”

“Oh you want to talk crimes? Ariel.”

“What about her, Gina?”

“In the movie “The Little Mermaid” there is canonically a shark(He’s called Glut) so, allow me to ask: WHAT THE FUCK COW-GUY? WHY THE FUCK DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID SECTION NOT INCLUDE GLUT? YOU FUCK?”

“Since we are on the topic of Ariel, I feel it important to mention that during the capture process they shoot Scuttle out of the sky.”

“I always hated that fucking annoying bird, so whatever.”

“Yes, but I still feel that Ariel is oddly nonchalant about her friend getting severely injured at best.”

“Oh come on, Marcie, do this sluts even care about anything beyond sucking Guy’s cock? They certainly don’t seem to have any opinion about anything, no matter what fucked up crimes the guy commits.”

“Like when he sold Prince Philip, you mean?”

“Yeah, talk about a waste. I don’t mind turning him into a catgirl. But at least keep him, you fuck!”

“Hm, yes I concede that the girls personalities default a lot of time to supportive and somewhat lewd girlfriend.”

“By now Guy has grown himself a sizable harem of powerful beings. And as expected, this is all done with zero struggles. Like, they fight Maleficent who can turn herself into a fucking dragon and it’s like the most boring shit ever.”

“You know the videogame trope were the powerful villain joins you and is then suddenly very weak.”

“No.”

“It is like this here. Just the opposite.”

"What I do with my retinue will now appear normal to outsiders. If I choose to have you suck my dick on the ballroom floor no one will bat an eye. Though they may still applaud your skill." I leered at my lusty Queen, who blushed at the thought.

“Like for fucks sake! That’s not interesting! Guy having to fuck one of his bitches in a broom closet so the baroness doesn’t get wise to his perverted antics is interesting. But does he do that? Nooooo.”

“Hm Gina, would you say this is worse then unkown’s Kingdom Hearts story after all?

“Not even close.”

“Let us continue then.”

"Next up on the chopping block are the girls from Frozen, probably for more ****. He also sends Ariel back at home, to nab some of her sisters. Also for ****.”

“There is certainly a surprising focus on **** this time around.”

“That and breasts. Basically every girl gets a breast upgrade.”

“No lactation so far though. Very surprising.”

“Pretty weird, given this is cow-guy we are talking about. Not that I care about that.”

"It's lovely!" She said as I handed it over, and she clasped it on her arm without second thought. Well that was far too easy. "Come with me." She grabbed my hand, leading us all towards the castle. "Elsa's going to love you!"

“Geez, you don’t say. The hardest part is waiting for the fucking timer to tick down, which we got to witness in excruciating detail since Guy checks his magic band five times per chapter.”

“With the Frozen sisters, Guy has enough Princesses to move on. But he still wants to snag a few more to make future worlds easier.”

“Because things aren’t enough of a cakewalk already. Next is your favorite, Marcie.”

“Ugh...at least the accent is subdued this time.”

“Merida falls. Super easy, barely an inconvenience. Time for the last one. Jasmine. This is the big finale, and the desert got hyped up a lot as that ultra hardcore final boss area, so will there finally be something resembling a threat for our guy?”

“Well, there is a giant crocodile.”

“Which gets one shotted.”

“There is Jafar.”

“Which gets tricked into putting on a **** ring. Effortlessly.”

“A Djinn with unlimited cosmic powers.”

“Which Guy’s wive slaves obtain for him. Off screen.”

“Ok, but to be fair,…”

“What, Marcie?”

“The company limits the power of the djinn so he can’t just wish to win the game.”

It would take time to fill my ranks, as only so many would drift in per week, but having a lair for them to be drawn to would help. The best part is that each of these boosted my Heritage abilities as well. The Artist's Lair would give me Aesthetic Talent, making me an actual artist, not hugely useful, but a jeweler's skills would give my Princely Persona more credibility. More useful though, was the Covert Talent I got from Libertine Service, boosting my already pretty good skill at deceiving people. What's more, now I had Talent Sharing for Athletics, Covert, and Performance Talents, so all my Waifus and Minions gained them. Better still, Fighting Flowers gave Talent Sharing for Martial and Wild talents, so now all of my companions could rapidly gain combat and wilderness skills. It also would have given me Martial Talent as well, but since I already had it I got a rebate instead. Now Minions didn't work very well on their own, they needed me to lead them. Unless I bought The Lieutenants. Now I could put appropriate companions in charge of different groups to good effect. Cassandra, for example, could lead my Mooks in battle just fine. Snow and Ella could even make the normal Minions passable maids with their direction. There were other specialties for other types of Minions, but that was enough for now. Last thing, I went and bought Dungeon, which would upgrade my hideout to full capability so I could establish portals to my house and other boosts I could buy with Devotion, and I had a lot of companions I could set to that work instead of just twiddling their thumbs back home.

“Yeah, maybe. You know, my mind just blanks out during nerd shit like this.”

“Well, on the positive side, we are almost done.”

“Thank fuck. After Jasmine, Guy is finally satisfied with his harem full of overpowered sluts and moves on. About forty chapter after he should have.”

“And with that Guy completed World 1 and we completed our read. Everyone has a happily ever after, well except the guys Guy sold into slavery.”

“I’m not happy either, Marcie. I’m livid.”

“Gina.”

“No, fuck you Marcie! This is just the Devil story. Again. As I said! At the beginning!”

“Hm, well, I do concede that the complete absence of any stakes makes this a slog to get through. In story this is justified as this being only the first and thus easiest world but if that is the case we should have not spend over 50 chapters on what is essentially the tutorial.”

“The pirate story was better. Like it has actual quests and shit like saving a zombie from zombie island. The only thing these two have in common is an absence of sharks.”

“Well, this one does win in the sex department. Although wrynn is one of those writers who enjoys the idea of sex more then actual writing it, so a lot of sexual intercourse is over and done with very quickly.”

“Unbelievably, we had worse, so I’m not even giving cow-guy shit for that.”

“Maybe this could be the tag line for this, Gina? We had worse?”

“Oh just close us off, Marcie.”

“Well, in closing this might have been a rather negative review but when all is said this was the best Disney story we ever read.”

“Uhu, Out of two and the other one was literally worse then Wish.”

“Good night, everyone”