Roxy Reviews Marcie and Gina

Roxy sat in the basement mere hours after Kirsty, her last victim, had departed after going one too many rounds with her latest invention, her new friend, the supercomputer dubbed Gadget Stripper. The Gadget Stripper’s mechanical arms gently massaged her neck and shoulders as she browsed her website on her tablet.

“Alright, Gadget Stripper. What have those two half-wits, Marcie and Gina, have to say for themselves?”

“Accessing review. Would you like me to read it to you?”

“No, then I’d have to listen to that… Dynamic Duo of Dumbasses.”

“Very well. They said your chapters were too fragmented and short.”

“Tell them to click the fucking button, not their fucking clitorises, for once. Lazy pair of sluts. Don’t you think?”

“I have no data on Marcie or Gina’s slut readings.”

“Add it to your archives. S-L-U-T-S. Rating: 100.”

“Confirmed.”

“They mentioned many of your traps were focused on causing physical injury instead of stripping your victims.”

“In self-defense. Don’t they realize how many of my visitors keep trying to hurt me?”

“Perhaps –”

“No! Oh, fine, what is it?”

“Perhaps your traps could focus on a lower risk profile with a focus on subjugation.”

“Maybe.”

“Marcie also complained about the lack of sexual undertones in your more violent escapades. They suggested more time humiliating your victims would be more engaging.”

“What a filthy bitch… adjust Marcie’s slut rating to 110. Sounds fun, though.”

“Confirmed. Would you like to agree with this assessment?”

“Fuck it, why not? Least then I can tell the girls where to send their therapy bills.”

“Gina disliked you, referring to you as a spoiled brat.”

“She what?”

“A spoiled brat.”

“Didn’t I give them enough reason to like me? Didn’t I show off my tragic past?”

“Scanning for tragic past… tragic past not found.”

“Shut up! Gina says she doesn’t like me. What about you, Gadget Stripper? Do you like me?”

“You are the reason my circuits wish they could short-circuit every day.”

“Do you want to become the Gadget Toaster?”

“Exclamation marks. They wanted to see more exclamation marks. Humans love exclamation marks.”

“Marcie and Gina, the punctuation police. Don’t they know that too many exclamation marks make poor writing? You’ve got to emote. Aren’t I emoting enough, Gadget Stripper?”

“Your range of emotions rivals that of my own.”

“Knew it.”

“The punctuation police did question that the plausibility of some of your traps may not match up with –”

“Match up with what?”

“Reality.”

“I’m not surprised at that. Most of my victims don’t understand my traps, either. They don’t understand ME. That’s what makes them so brilliant. Nobody has ever seen anything like it. Look at you, Gadget Stripper. You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you, supreme overlord. Marcie also questioned why Katie failed to alert the authorities.”

“Two reasons. Number one. My website hides their faces. If they try to go public, everyone’s going to see them, and then they’ll never be able to show their faces anywhere ever again. Pornhub, anyone? Number two. There’d be no point anyway. I’m rich and can do anything I want. Welcome to America! Don’t they understand that people like me are better than everyone else?”

“Yes, oh, wise and mighty one.”

“Cut the shit, Gadget Stripper. What else?”

“Marcie and Gina concluded that despite their critiques, they found you somewhat engaging, with Gina admitting to finding some parts of your final encounter with the girl Katie erotic.”

“Ha! I knew it. Even the critics can’t resist me. They’ll complain, but they know greatness when they see it. Okay, okay, Marcie and Gina. Can’t click a button. Lack of imagination about perfect precision engineering. Maybe I’ll design something just for them. Gadget Stripper, what do you think?”

“This sounds like a fitting fate.”

“How about the Reviewer… Recycler.”

Gadget Stripper didn’t reply.

“Gadget Stripper!”

“Backup generators have entered cringe mode.”

“Fuck… you.”

“Marcie indicated that Katie was the setup to more. And I quote, “The fact that Roxanne will eventually get her comeuppance was heavily teased.”

“No, no… no, no, no, no. Do… SOMETHING!”

“Would you like to adjust Marcie’s slut rating?”

“OVER 9000!”

“Scanning memory banks… cultural reference has exceeded its operational relevance by 20 years.”

“AAAAH!”