Roxanne Perez vs Lyra Valkyria: Paddle on a Pole Match

The AHW audience murmurs as they await the next contest. The match graphic pops up on the large broadcast screen and they immediately cheer with excitement: Roxanne Perez versus Lyra Valkyria in a Paddle on a Pole match!

AHW’s staff immediately go to work, pulling a gigantic pole from what feels out of thin air and attaching it to the top right corner of the ring. One of the crew members uses a ladder to climb up to the top of the pole and attach a wooden pink paddle to the pole via a hook. Within roughly a minute, the ring is set and the match can begin!

First one to step onto the stage is Roxanne Perez, who by the time the camera pans to her has her back turned to it. As the beat to her theme song drops, she whips her head around and gives the camera operator a seductive stare with a vicious smile. The camera operator circles all the way to the front of Roxanne, before she finally turns to face the booing audience and makes her way to the ring.

“Well this should be an interesting contest, King. Two of the fastest, hottest rising stars in the wrestling business today are about to go head to head for the first time in an AHW ring! And it seems this crowd is letting Roxanne know their opinion of her early on.” states commentator Mark Madden.

Mark’s colleague Jerry “The King” Lawler replies with a simple, “You can say hottest again!”

Roxanne looks at the audience in disgust, almost like she could hear old man Jerry’s comment. She walks up the steps, then basically jumps feet first into the ring between the top and middle rope. She looks across the ring at the paddle hanging high above before climbing the opposite corner to stare out at the audience.

The woman who calls herself “The Prodigy” unzips the long jacket she is wearing to reveal her gear: a black top and trunks combo, with fishnets underneath her shorts with star designs across them. She throws her arms out in arrogance, silently telling the crowd she believes she is better than them. Roxanne hops off the ropes after a few seconds, and takes off her jacket before handing it to the ring attendant.

“With that long, flowing jacket off, Roxanne is now ready for the match,” states Lawler. “But I do have to wonder how much that big butt of hers would be hit with that paddle.”

Almost on queue, the cameraman gets a shot from behind Roxanne as she paces around the ring. Her shorts hug her hips and backside, the bottom of her cheeks hang out and are accentuated with each step.

As Roxanne’s music fades out, the dramatic entrance song of Lyra Valkyria sounds throughout the arena as shouts of “WOO!” from the crowd fill in the silent gaps of her song. Suddenly, the smoke from the stage slowly fades and Lyra appears on camera for the first time in AHW, posing for the fans and the cameras. She yells “come on!” as she amps up the crowd and herself, as cheers rain down while she walks to the ring.

Mark Madden says, “Lyra and Roxanne both have had fantastic careers so far. They’ve won the same championships and even had matches for those belts against each other. Neither of these women, though, have been in a match like this.”

“I agree, Mark. These ladies have achieved a lot in their career. However, none of their accomplishments will matter when one of them will be walking out of here with a spanked heinie tonight! Ah! I can’t wait!” exclaims Jerry.

Lyra slides into the ring, a smile on her face as she looks out towards the audience while they call out the signature “Woo!” to her theme once more. Her black and blue gear matches her lights shining around the arena, and she throws her hands up once more for her signature pose in the center of the ring.

Roxanne stands in the corner with her arms crossed over her chest, unimpressed by her competition. Lyra finishes her pose and goes to the opposite corner in the top left of the ring. Her music fades and the lights go back to normal. Both women stand across from each other with the referee in the middle. The referee calls for the bell, and this match is officially underway!