Rowana & Azzie Read "Well At Least I’m a Magic Pirate Now" by Jerynboe, Part 2

The toilet flushed. Rowana waddled back to the living room, after checking in on Bebe. He and the cat were gently sleeping in the room that was going to be the nursery. Her fingers drummed on her stomach. The hobbit hole was going to need some expanding.

Azzie was back on the couch, and the pregnant ex-ranger settled among the pillows.

"So when we left off," she said. "Emrys was reborn aboard a pirate ship in a Pathfinder game. I was wondering on the potty if he just popped into existence fully-formed, or if there's a history and family involved?"

"We get an answer," Azzie said. "He basically took over another dude's life."

Maybe I’ll look up his family if I am ever free. Who knows, maybe having people that rely on me could be nice; I don’t exactly have a lot planned outside of missions to level up. If nothing else, drow girls are hot. Evil, but hot. Just gotta remember the fourth law of being a harem protagonist: Don’t fuck your sister.

"While that is a good rule, I thought the character sheet said rakshasha?" Rowana said.

"I think they're actually a drow and the sheet is wrong," Azzie said. "Not that we have drow in Middle-Earth."

Another excellent use of darkvision: impressing girls.

"This is good character development," the pregnant woman said. "I like little details like this."

autopilot, how much does a ship like this cost? A lot? I’ve never been in the market for one. More than 3000gp, that’s for damn sure. (Appraise 10+2=12) Fair enough.

"Fantasy roleplaying game economics are bullshit," the Uruk-Hai said with a shake of her head. "You can't do an exact comparison between like gold/silver/copper and pounds/shillings/pence or dollars/cents or whatever, but it's best to set a relative standard so that the audience gets an idea of value."

"And most game economies are set up to discourage crafting or doing a profession as opposed to adventuring and looting corpses," Rowana pointed out.

“Yep.” She nodded gravely, “I’m religiously obligated to go to the tavern and convince people to buy me drinks.”

"Is it wrong to point out that if she was being completely honest this would be more compelling than the current storyline?" Azzie said.

Rowana slapped her wife's left tit. Just hard enough to sting. And make it wobble. "Don't be like that. The storyline is progressing. Emrys is thinking more like a rogue than a sorcerer, but the storyline is shaping up. Though yes, completely honest, someone religiously obligated to have a good time because they're a paladin of a god of parties or something would be vastly entertaining to read about."

Reefclaw has struck Rosie. Rosie is grappled
Rosie has missed reefclaw.
Owlbear has grappled Reefclaw. Rosie is no longer grappled.
Syl has struck Reefclaw.
Reefclaw has struck Syl.
Reefclaw has failed to strike Syl.

The Uruk-Hai stood up and took off her pants. Rowana raised an eyebrow. The tit-slap had put the short green woman in a mood, she could tell.

"There are a lot of ways to handle a combat scene," Rowana said. "I prefer narrative action, but in a LitRPG sense, this is functional. What do you think, babe?"

Azzie stood up with her pussy bared, the faint lines of mithril glowing. "I'm going to hump your bump!"

I felt very naked without my magic;

"I want to make a joke about how this would be more funny if it were literally true, where every time a spell was cast they lost a piece of clothing, but I am currently distracted by my wife running her hairless pussy over the swollen stomach carrying our unborn children," Rowana said, voice dry as Mordor in the summer.

The Uruk-Hai, for her pair, now straddled the pregnant women on the couch, legs akimbo, tits swinging back and forth as she rubbed her warm, wet slit against the taut stomach, her clit catching the outie naval on each up-stroke. It was distracting from the review.

"I'm sorry I punched your boob," Rowana said.

"Apology accepted," Azzie said. "But I'm not stopping until I finished. Keep reading."

“Now, heal yourself.” Plugg commanded.

"There's an interesting story to be written about a submissive cleric that embraces being a healslut," Rowana observed.

Azzie didn't respond. She was busy moving, steadily, and the friction increased on Rowana's stomach. It wasn't doing much for her, and to her credit the Uruk-Hai wasn't putting much weight or pressure on the great gravid baby bump, but the swinging breasts were almost hypnotic, and the half-orc twins inside the ex-ranger's womb seemed to realize someone was knocking on the wall, so to speak, and began to kick.

It shouldn't have been erotic. Yet as a trickle of moisture from her wife's pussy ran down the swollen curve of the pregnant belly to pool in that little spot at the base of her sternum, Rowana could feel herself getting wet.

I methodically worked my way through the procedure I’d been drilled on back home. Using a flat, relaxed tongue, I licked from the base of the vagina to the clitoris. Teasing, gentle. More pressure could fire me out and I didn’t know how long she’d keep me down here. She was appreciative, though. I’d hardly begun and her breath was already hitching, her hands clutching the edge of the table. Must not be orally pleasured very often. (Perform: Sexual 16+4=20 great performance). With that in mind, I started extremelt gentle when I reached her clit. I took it in my mouth and sucked with a sustainable, consistent level of pressure. She wrapped her thighs around my head and whimpered, so I knew it was the right choice. Then she surprised me.

"I'm not sure I really like the game mechanics in a sex scene, but at least it is a sex scene," Rowana said.

Azzie huffed. She was positively dripping now, and Rowana's nipples grew hard in her shirt in response. The Uruk-Hai could feel the twins shifting around inside the cramped womb, and that was turning her own, making her move faster, leg muscles bunched as she built up speed.

We kept going for two more rounds, at which point little Emrys just couldn’t rise to the occasion anymore. Round four was all autopilot; I wasn’t able to deliver anymore pleasure, so I let my body tease out one last orgasm from Syl before finally collapsing next to her after her final climax.

"I really appreciate," Rowanna huffed. "How Emrys doesn't feel the need to describe having an elephant's trunk between his legs. Even if the description is a little sparse—"

"Urnngh!" Azzie grunted, as a perfect explosion of liquid coated Rowana's quaking belly. She slid forward, grabbing the tablet from Rowana's hands as she straddled her pregnant wife's face.

It was an invitation the ex-ranger couldn't refuse.

We need to clean ourselves off, but we also just fucked on the food preparation table. I definitely need to clean that off.

"Isn't there a cantrip for cleaning shit?" Azzie muttered. "Like, you think one of the non-virgin sorcerers in Pathfinder land would include a cantrip for Remove Sex Stank. Prestidigitation for fucking anyone?"

My man! This one is more my speed, but not by a ton. A thousand different chicks? Seriously, if this is a game that number was chosen to pad out play time. I doubt I’ll be picking up chicks left and right when I’m middle aged, so that’s… about 35 girls a year if I want to finish this out by 50. That means I need to meet, seduce, and fuck 3 girls a month for 30 years straight.

"Skill issue, Emrys," Azzie said as Rowana's nose nuzzled her wife's nuzzly bit. "Although I prefer quality over quantity. I wouldn't trade my wife's pussy for a thousand sluts. Also, isn't Emrys a drow? Isn't he going to live a thousand years? Why should he care about maxing out that stat? Is it all power and glory, or panty-drops and blowjobs?"

Extra nasty biscuits and fish slop?

"Spoken like someone that's never been in the navy," Azzie said. "Weeks out to sea, people would blow their own mothers for better food."

"Mwahn mweh yhoun inna nabhn?" Rowana's muffled voice came from Azzie's muff.

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

This makes me desire crime.

"While I am enjoying the story so far," Azzie said, he tight green buttocks bunching as she pressed her mons against her wife's face. "The combination of modern lingo and Ye Olden Pirate Times setting is sending me a bit. 'Strike team leader'? You can't find some naval terminology to fit? That should be a sign."

In this light she looks almost like one of the matriarchs.

"I think," Azzie said, as she slowly began to hump her wife's face. "That I don't like the Autopilot. I get why it exists, because otherwise dude was isekai'd into a strange world with no cultural context, but it means there's this serious disconnect between how the character should act and react to a given situation and their actual feelings, and the actual feelings tend to be a lot less interesting than if Emrys was scaroused because this woman reminds him of his danger mommies."

Rowana's tongue pushed inside and curled, looking for a particular little spot that would drive the Uruk-Hai crazy. She was dangerously close to getting a clitoris up her right nostril in the quest for the elusive g-spot.

Sandara was stripped and chained to the mast again.

"This is insufficiently sexy for the context," Azzie said. "I mean, I get not everything about a woman being stripped, chained, and tortured needs to be a sadistic fap-fest, but if it's there already, it would be more interesting if something was made of it."

"Mgwghh," Rowana added.

"Alright, so we're long past the point where this is primarily an erotic story; it's a LitRPG adventure with occasional erotic elements," Azzie admitted.

Have any of you ever killed a man?

"First rule of **** club: you do not tell anyone you're in **** club," Azzie said. Rowana, beneath her, gave a thumbs-up. She had apparently abandoned the search for the g-spot and instead shifted her head and neck so that she could suck on her wife's clit.

What if she’s in some kind of pirate heaven?

"Emrys keeps bringing up ideas that are cooler and more interesting than the actual story he's in," Azzie said. It was a complaint, but it was hard to sound upset when someone was sucking on her clitoris.

I sautéed the onions and didn’t worry about the big picture

"All bitching aside, this story straddles being a LitRPG-style adventure and Cozy Dungeons but on a Pirate Ship, and the balance is a bit awkward," the Uruk-Hai said. "That's not a diss on Jerynboe, who is trying to tell a solid story here, but it still feels like this dude is more interested in the mechanics of the world instead of just, y'know, experiencing the world. A quest for a mermaid blowjob is slightly more interesting than a 2nd-level sorcerer trying to start a mutiny. That might just be me, but it's a common problem with LitRPG stories in general, where so much of the focus is on the mechanics. Who is giving Emrys missions? Why? Does he even care? Why does he care about leveling up, or maxxing out his sex stat, or any of it? He seems to have ambition, but the ambition is vague and mercurial in the context of the story."

Why do you know so much about the whore economy?
Personal experience on both sides.

"Emrys, drow manwhore," Azzie tried the phrase on for size. "Well, maybe Jerynboe will do a sequel at some point."

second hand body market

"This would be a great concept for a cyberpunk LitRPG story. Here, I'm just wondering how the thriving port of Goatshead can sustain one," Azzie said.

Rowana tapped the Uruk-Hai's ass. The greenskin, satisfied, rolled off her wife's face. Rowana came up for air.

"I need to pee again," the ex-ranger said. "The resurrection seems like a nice place for it."

"Hmm. Alright," Azzie said, and helped her wife up off the couch. She could see the little dents as the babies kicked inside of Rowana's womb. They would be strong like their mother.