Round one!

“First question: Name every state that borders the Pacific Ocean!”

“That’s… California, Oregon, and Washington, right?” Paul said.

“And Hawai’i and Alaska,” Carlos added.

“Done and done!” Yuki quickly tapped in their answer and hit Enter.

After sixty seconds, the waitress began speaking again. “Looks like we caught out a few of you with that one! Don’t worry, the next question’s right around the corner! Who holds the eleventh place record for women’s 800-meter freestyle swim?”

“Katie Ledecky,” Mary offered. “She has, like, the first dozen records. She’s very good.”

“What’s the name of the coffee shop in Friends?”

“Central Perk,” Yuki said.

“How many keys are on a classical piano?”

“88,” Carlos said.

“Well, the teams are starting to distinguish themselves- but there’s still quite a few with perfect records! Let’s speed things up a bit.”

“Where are the Beatles from?”

“Who invented the World Wide Web?”

“What was the original name of the clothing brand Nike?”

“How many states does the Appalachian Trail cross?”

“What do you call a group of otters?”

“When was the first Indy 500 held?”

Despite the rapid-fire questions, MPCY was still holding on to a perfect record; as the screen above the stage showed.

“Still got a team at a perfect ten! I think that deserves a reward,” the waitress said, looking around the room, then directly at the four. “Do you want a reward?”

“Yes!” Yuki instantly slammed the big pink button on the tablet, a hungry look in her eyes.

Carlos had his eyes shut tight.

Paul and Mary looked at each other confused.

“All right, then! Time for our first pink card. Now, don’t you move- your food hasn’t even arrived yet! Everyone else… how many penises do MPCY collectively have?”

“What?” Paul yelled. “What sort of-” But his mouth closed against his will.

Trying to **** it open, Paul looked around the table. Yuki was bouncing eagerly in her seat, Carlos still had his eyes shut, and Mary was seemingly trying to open her own mouth too.

They couldn’t get up from their seats, either. As the clock ticked down, the waitress read the results. “And the most popular result is… six!”

What? Most popular?

“Well, the actual answer is two. But I like you guys’ answer more, so let’s make it so!” As the woman snapped his fingers, the screen turned pink, and Paul felt a swelling sensation in his crotch.

His body was rearranging itself- his penis shifted to the left, as he felt a new one grow in right next to it.

The sensation was almost orgasmic, despite the insane situation- or maybe because of it.

“Aw, only got one,” Yuki said.

“What the fuck is going on?” Paul asked, infuriated. “Did you know about this?”

“...kinda? We’ve been here before, but we’ve never gotten Pinked,” Yuki said, leaning away.

“You knew and you still dragged us into this? This magic freakshow?”

“Oh, that’s mean!” The waitress said. “You want it to be a show? Here you go!” Drawing another pink card, she read it out. “Everyone else: Should we be recording and broadcasting MPCY? Ten seconds!”

“Shitshitshitshitshit… why would you do this to us? Ruin us just to indulge in your own fetishes?”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Every show, the winning team gets to choose to undo everything and go back to normal,” Yuki said.

“You mean we have to keep going?” Paul asked. “We can’t just leave and undo this mess?”

“And the results are in! Most popular answer is… constant livestream! Good choice!”

“What?”

“The url for the stream should pop up on all your devices. Take a photo, and save it for later!”

“This just gets better and better.”

“Here’s your food,” said their waitress. “pastissada, mussels fra diavolo, sausage risotto, and penne alla vodka, with a boulevardier and pisco sour.”

“Why didn’t you warn us about this?” Paul asked.

“We do ask for consensual participation,” the waitress said as she passed out dishes. “And if you’re going to be angry with us, please don’t do so on an empty stomach.”

“Is there magic in this too?”

“No, it’s just very good food. Would you like any drinks yet?”

“Just two waters.”

“Now, let’s get back to the game! Anyone think they can knock MPCY out of the top spot?”