Rogue, by Grayice

Miri receives a new bracelet from her boyfriend on Valentine's Day, then is transported to a magical world DnD inspired world.

“THIS SHIT AGAIN!”

“Gina please.”

“NO! GINA NOT PLEASE! GINA MAD!”

“Look, this time the protagonist is female. That is a plus right?”

“We are doing this for over two years now, Marcie. I have learned to be careful when the main character is called a “girl”

“We are reading Rogue, by Grayice. My, going from the longest title to the shortest. That is quite the mood whiplash. Incidentally, the last record was…”

“Squirtle, by FUCK YOU SARCKLE!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

Miriamelle crossed the threshold of her doorway and hugged the man. “You look so cute, Anders!” She said with a smile. After a passionate hug and kiss, Miri grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the house.

“Those roses look so beautiful! Let me put them in a vase.” Miri squealed, bouncing across the living room to the kitchen.

“Can’t say they’re the prettiest thing I see.” Anders said following her at a measured pace. “That honor belongs squarely to you.”

“You’re so sweet, love.” Miri responded sweetly while filling a clear plastic vase with water.

“I want to vomit already.”

“Not everyone can have such a great relationship as us, Gina. This is how the regular people do courtship. Don’t judge them, they don’t know any better.”

“So, basically Miri is taking out by her fly guy to a night in town.”

“Indeed.”

Hand in hand, they left Miriamelle’s apartment and walked toward the Italian Restaurant. Not much was verbally said as they held hands, but an undercurrent of lust, closeness, and nervousness kept them engaged with each other. Halfway to the restaurant, they came across a bridge over the Columbia River. Dusk was fast approaching, painting the overhanging willow trees in a muddled array of red, violet, and orange. The greenbelt they traversed still glowed with the heat of the day. Green grass along the left side of the path gave way to a brilliant kaleidoscope of colors as the river reflected the dying rays of the Sun. A low overhang of blue sky faded to darker colors where the cloud cover wasn’t so thick. Stopping in front of the bridge, Anders pulled out his phone.

“This author sure fucking loves to describe shit doesn’t he? Ok, maybe unkown not doing fuck all on that front makes this come across as extra bad but wow, this is gonna be a pain.”

“It is rather verbose, true. There is a reason for it, though. The bridges happens to be an important locale.”

“Ugh...the two lovebirds might be more perverted then I gave them credit for. They are doing some buttplug anal stuff on the bridge.”

“That is an interesting choice for your first erotic scene. But it becomes quickly very apparent that this author really likes butt stuff.”

“Eww! Don’t suck at the thing once it was in your ass!”

“I am sure she cleaned herself properly, Gina.”

“I do not care, Marcie. After this disgusting showing they go to the restaurant and Miri gives him a footjob under the table! These two are horny as fuck, like holy shit calm down you two nymphos!”

“They do appear to have a rather huge appetite for exhibitionism. Now they are having sex in public.”

Anders’ camera picked up the slick sounds of her wet pussy, “Schlick. Schlock. Sch lick. Ooooh, yeaaa. I’m so horny right now.”

“pfft.”

“Glad you at least are having fun. When are they going to the fantasy world, Marcie?”

“I was thinking the sex would trigger it, but apparently not.”

“Instead two thugs interrupt the sex, knock out Anders and try to Miri. Oh. NOW we are getting a trigger warning! Wish we got that for the butt shit!”

“Speaking of triggers. Imminent triggers the Isekai. Well, I suppose it is a bit more original then a truck.”

“Finally! Took fucking five chapters but we have finally arrived at the premise of the story by chapter six."

"Which is curiously titled Chapter 1."

"Mirri gets transported to some fantasy jungle by the bracelet. The bracelet can also talk and is a pervert.”

“A true stable of fantasy. The bracelet, Aiano, requires sexual energy to transport Miri back to earth.”

“I don’t know what you think you are, but I’m not a slut! And I’m loyal to Anders!” Miriamelle yelled defiantly, raising her left-hand, so she could properly shout at the offending bracelet.

“Bitch, you are probably the sluttiest slut we read so far. And that’s a fucking impressive accomplishment.”

“I’d say it’s a tie with Stacy from “There’s freedom in friendship” But your point stands. Usually female protagonist tend to be more reserved compared to their male counterparts. It is honestly a quite refreshing change.”

“Maybe if there was actually lesbian sex in this I would agree.”

“There is a bit of a running joke where Miri complains about all the sexual stuff, while it is very evident she absolutely loves it. I admit, it is rather funny.”

“In general she takes the whole situation rather well. I mean, even disregarding the whole alternate world thing, her boyfriend was last seen getting bludgeoned to .”

Miri sensed that retreat was the better form of honor

“That is an almost impressive bastardization of the saying. Please don’t just put words in for the sake of it, author. Think about what you write.”

“Miri then comes across something scary and wonders half the chapter what it could be. Unfortunately the chapter title already spoils the fact that it’s a dwarf.”

“This is something I despise when it comes to reading CHYOA. Unfortunately this author firmly belongs in the camp who spoils the story via chapter titles for the sake of choices."

"What choices, Marcie? There aren't any fucking choices in this fucking story!"

“Anyways, Miri meets Dazar, a dwarf.”

“A perverted dwarf.”

One, there is a certain je ne sais quoi about you.

“Pray tell, why does the fantasy dwarf suddenly speak French?”

“Was it better when he spoke English?”

“That at least got explained via a translation spell later on. But therein lies the issue Did the spell just use this somewhat popular saying? But how did it decide that it was appropriate? What was the equivalent in fantasy speech that it causes the system to determine, oh yes, we will require french to properly convey this point.”

“Marcie, I am speaking for everyone who is reading this. Nobody cares about your obsession with french stuff in fantasy stories.”

“Ehem. Point being, Dazar decides to bring Miri under his wing and instruct her in the arts of being a Rogue. Cue the title. Although in all honesty, he puts far more emphasis on the erotic arts. I suppose there is no Prostitute class in Dnd

Soon the air filled with a “Glock, glock, wrea, glogck, glog, glog, wrea.”

"HRRRRCCHHLLKK!! GGLLLRRRKK!! Grrk! Grrk! Grrk! Grrk! HRRRRCCHHKKK!!!!”

“The sad part is, we read worse.”

“Despite the copious amount of fantasy stories we covered so far the only author degenerate enough to feature dwarf sex was engin.”

“What follows is sex. Lots and lots of sex in the woods with the same dwarf. I swear, if I have to read about Miri being bodacious one more goddamn time…!”

“It took to chapter 22 until the group finally gets out of the forest. As a reminder we entered the forest at chapter 6. And these are decently long chapters. That is a lot of fucking a dwarf in the woods.”

“But out they get and you never guess what happens next. More sex!”

“Nobody can fault this story for a lack of sex scenes.”

“This time Miri has to fuck three guards as a bribe and I’m getting really confused about the dicks here.”

“Story of your life.”

“That’s not what I meant! Who’s dick is who’s? Didn’t the orc have the big one? But then it switches to the blond guy. At least mustache guy is the one that is tiny. I figured that out in that confusing mess.”

“Ok, Gina.”

Moaned the man, gently inserting his elephantine cock.

“Do elephants have…”

“Yes, Gina.”

“I’m not looking it up!”

“After this fun sidequest, we take our leave from Dazar and Miri goes solo for a bit. Oh, look, Gina. A lesbian scene.”

“Miri goes to the bathhouse and runs into a sexy elf. The whole chapter is basically just buildup for the next chapter in which Miri goes to the bathhouse and...hold on.”

“What is it, Gina?”

“Did that chucklefuck actually upload the same chapter twice?”

“Not quite. At first it reads like a shortened version of the previous chapter before eventually expanding to a full blown sex scene around the halfway point. Most likely the author has accidentally uploaded the first draft of the chapter.”

“Wow. That’s another first for this goober. Good job author, there may be a lot of people screwing in this story but no one screwed up as much as you!”

“Nice one, Gina.”

“Thank you, Marcie.”

“But what do you think about the sex scene?”

“The author use bodacious five times in this chapter alone.”

“Eh, yes.”

“And there was more butt stuff.”

“Not answering my question.”

“Fine! I got a bit aroused, ok? But definitely not enough to actually get off on it.”

“Hm, disappointing, but not unexpected. And on that note, chapter one comes to a close.”

“No, Marcie. That was a lot more then one chapter!”

“Err, yes, bit of a weird way to name the part. The author then makes the unfortunate decision to ask the readers what they want to see more in the story.”

“When will these idiots ever learn?”

“It appears the readers mostly want to see prostitution and gangbang. Meanwhile, humiliation is trailing far behind. This strengthens my thesis that the readers of this site are tasteless simpletons that must not be trusted for any literary decision.”

“Didn’t need two years to figure that one out. Anyways, we are done?”

“There are few chapters left, but since the author bothered to close up chapter one like that, I do think this is a good stopping point.”

“Thank fuck!"

“So, Gina what do you think?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“I mean there was a lesbian scene in it.”

“Yes, Marcie there was a lesbian scene in it, but the constant focus on the butt stuff was a huge turnoff. It doesn’t help that she does her licking trick a lot. I just couldn’t enjoy it.”

"I suppose your history with buttplugs is somewhat complicated..."

"Who's fault is that!"

“Well, I repeat myself from our last review but there is nothing wrong with writing about your fetish. But if it is featured so prominently there should be a clear indicator.”

“Beyond that, there was just too much fucking and too little progress. Did we really need that five chapter long intro?”

“On the other hand, grayice did put quite a bit of characterization into Miri. She also has a decently fleshed out backstory. Miri might be a slut, but she is a well written slut.”

“I guess, this author somehow managed to be both incompetent and not incompetent.”

“You mean competent?”

“Yeah sure, maybe cut down both the gross stuff and the filler stuff, so the actually good part of your writing can shine.”

“There are also a few smatterings of typos here and there and some questionable word choices as I alluded in the review. The author did cut down on the verbosity as the story progresses, so there is a decent chance for improvement now that the plot is past the early birthing pains.”

“Gross, Marcie.”

“Hmm..then how about this? This story is like inserting a butt plug. It feels difficult at first but once you…”

“WE ARE DONE!”