Rode-Side Diner

“And can I do the caesar salad?”

Eliza smiled up at the waitress. She and her new husband, Jack, sat in a booth in the Rode-Side Diner, taking a break from their honeymoon road trip. Eliza had insisted they stop somewhere for lunch rather than go through another drive-thru and they’d followed a sign on the highway to this 1950s-styled establishment.

Sandy smiled down at the couple. As soon as they’d walked in she’d taken the measure of the couple. The blonde, who she’d learned was Eliza, was a small, voluptuous woman had just married the gangly nerd, Jack, and he was pulling way above his weight class. She’d done her makeup, even for a roadtrip travel day, and fit right in with the decor of the restaurant. The mid-century housewife look was good on her. She wondered how these two had met.

“Sure thing honey.” Sandy, the waitress, smiled back at her as she walked away. She walked back over with a glass coffee pot with a blue plastic spout. She poured some for both of the couple and wandered off to put in their order.

–

“Who got the blue coffee?” Mac, the owner of the Rode-Side Diner, raised an eyebrow at Sandy as she got back behind the counter.

“Booth 4.”

“Oh she’s pretty. She’ll be perfect.”

“Her new husband is over there too. They’re on their honeymoon.”

“With all that makeup on, I bet she has something special planned for him tonight.”

“And I think we have something special planned for them.” Sandy replaced the blue coffee pot and grabbed her usual red, caffeinated, and green, decaf. She looked over as Eliza began to sip at her drink.

–

“I can’t wait for tonight.” Jack touched Eliza’s hand and smiled at her across the table.

“mmHMM.” Eliza nodded as she drank her coffee. She wasn’t nearly as excited as Jack.

She took one big gulp out of nervousness. A feeling started to overtake her. She was warm and fuzzy. She smiled, maybe she was more excited than she’d thought…

Jack looked at his new wife and saw her pupils dilate. She positively beamed back at him. He smiled back, glad that his wife was starting to share his enthusiasm for their new life together. He started to feel a little warm and a little hazy. That’s love, he thought dreamily.

–

Sandy watched as the couple started to slouch in their seats and look dreamily off into the distance. Smiling, she returned to the couple with a fake check.

“I’m hope y’all enjoyed your meals.” She handed them the check.

“What? Oh… Yes, of course. They were delicious.” Eliza looked up at her waitress with saucer-sized pupils.

Jack by rote rifled through his jeans for his wallet and handed the waitress a card. He didn’t even look at what they’d supposedly eaten.

Sandy walked back to her register and immediately returned. This was her final check on how well the **** had worked.

“I’m sorry sir, your card has been declined.”

“Oh?” Jack looked confused. “How?”

“And your second card has also been declined.” She didn’t move from where she stood, checking to see how warped their sense of time was.

Eliza looked horrified at her husband. What kind of man had she married? “Jack… what’s going on?”

Sandy looked between the two. “Unfortunately your third card has also declined.”

“I’m sorry, I don't know what’s going on.” Jack started to look frantically between the two. How had three of his cards declined?

Sandy reached into one of her apron pockets and pulled out two sheets of paper. “Sometimes this happens, especially when folks are traveling and forgot to notify their banks. We’ll have you work it off.” Smiled and handed the couple the documents. Two couldn’t tell what was written on them, but they were happy not to have the cops called or something. “If you’ll just sign these so you can be considered independent contractors for today I can give you some quick training.”

Sandy wasn’t strictly speaking lying to them, but the document also signed over a lot more…