Reviews, Rebukes, Restorations

Caoimhe

“I like Hazel and Blue!” Gaia exclaims as they complete the Harem Hotel: Dungeon Crawl marathon through their first challenge. Caoimhe can see why the temporary lion-girl likes those two contestants in particular. Hazel as the head of a hippie commune appeals to Gaia’s “return to nature” predilections. Blue has a chaotic energy that surpasses the former terrorist’s similar attitude in intensity.

Caoimhe, on the other hand, was focusing more on the rule sets, the scenario design, things that may help them navigate their version of the show.

“I get that, but what do you think about the hidden clauses of their transformations? Is that something we should be worried about?”

“Huh?”

Of course Gaia didn’t notice. When Caoimhe explains it, the former terrorist repeats herself with a different tone, “Huh.”

“That all you got?”

Gaia shrugs.

“Well, let me talk through it. So, their Host hide a significant portion of their transformations from them. The hidden bits were designed to push them into fetish archetypes. I have not noticed any changes in myself outside of what is implied by the text of my transformations, but I can’t trust my perception of myself for this sort of thing. Have you noticed anything different about me the last few days?”

“Ahh... you’ve been hanging out with Winter more?”

“We’re dating.”

“Okay,” Gaia states, accepting that as fact, “Congrats. Mona and I are dating too.”

Oh. Well then. “You okay with what Ootah did? Or Tegan?”

Gaia shrugs again, “I mean, Mona’s relationship with us is going to be very non-traditional. But those traditions are dumb anyways. We should be like a den of lions, all supporting each other. If Ootah makes Mona happy, who am I to complain that she got a cool ring? Tegan was out of line, but Mona didn’t ask for help and Ootah got to do the cool ‘protect your girlfriend’ move before I could. Are you saying I should have done something more?”

“Not necessarily,” Caoimhe stutters, “I just want to make sure that this doesn’t blow up like what happened this morning.”

“Okay then. Have I been acting weird?”

“For you, no.”

Gaia looks a little offended, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You are a bit of an odd duck? Not a bad duck, just an odd one.”

“But I’m a lion today.”

Caoimhe lets the non sequitur sit there. “Okay, we probably don’t have to worry about hidden extra effects. That House Rule transformation Kevin got seems powerful. The command power Mona got seems very constrained in comparison.”

“Mona can command us?”

“It’s more like Craig can be commanded. You don’t pay attention to everything that happens, do you?”

Gaia again shrugs, “I’m not the brightest star in the sky. I let the thinky type tell me what to do when things get complicated.”

“Well, I am going to write up a summary for Mona. How do you think that our hangout time went?”

“Pretty good. I’m going to find a spot to roll around in the dirt then nap for about half an hour before dinner. Don’t forget to tell Mona how cool Blue is!”

Caoimhe watches the lion-girl go, then stands up to stretch. She sat through a lot of Harem Hotel and she’s going to need to sit through more. The drow exits the Media Room, planning on asking for a standing desk somewhere so she can type up her report while not being so idle. I have so many more of these to go...

Tegan

Mona: -20 BP

Mona is a terrible shot.

There is no other conclusion to draw. Her fiancée is an embarrassingly bad shot. They started by Tegan working on finishing her longbow expertise. The star-eyed freak set up a so-called “run-n-gun” range. It is somewhat similar to the training circuit back at the team center: a long mile-long loop with targets interspersed. Of course, it is a cross-country running path instead of a skiing circuit, but the principle is the same. Run, get to a shooting position, fire at the target, keep going.

The big difference is, of course, the freak is firing back, using some kind of perverted aphrodisiac paintball gun. She gave a few seconds for Tegan to try and get the shot off before returning fire. The amount of time varied; the astral elf didn’t want Tegan getting comfortable.

The point of the lesson was to work on speed and accuracy while under pressure. Tegan saw that her training has conditioned her to function more as a sniper than an assault rifle user: she wants perfect conditions to nail a perfect shot. In real combat, she needs “good enough” conditions for “good enough” shots. The target drops almost as readily from a stomach shot as one straight through the eyes.

Tegan feels pretty confident about her results. She even got enough upcasts of Hunter’s Mark to reduce her ridiculous breasts down to a less disgusting E-cup. Good session.

Mona: Daily task complete! Walk for 30 minutes and cover 5 K steps +10 BP

Tegan: Training Session Critical Success (14 XP / 10 XP)

Tegan: +7 XP, Longbow expertise (Training Session)

Still, the results speak for themselves. Mona is slathered in paint (and other juices). The gun-nut is clean and dry.

“Did you even try to hit her, Mona?”

“Yes! And I had fun! Thanks, Mattie!”

The freak chuckles. “Glad someone appreciates my hard work. Anything you want to add, Ire Bags?”

Tegan stares in disbelief until she sees Mona looking disappointed. The vicious vixen mumbles out something that could be construed as a thanks, then heads to change out of her armor.

The Dawn T-shirt sits a little looser around her front, now that her breasts are closer to respectable. She idly wonders if that bird-freak’s shop has adjustable sports bras. Panties and tracksuit pants soon follow. That blasted itchiness returns, like the inside of her clothes is covered in loose hair. She scratches and grumbles to herself. Didn’t I specifically ask the freak to make sure my clothes were cleaned while I trained?

Mona waited. The gamer girl looks pensive but hopeful as she asks, “So, what now?”

“Now we do what you should have done last week. You are buying me an engagement ring,” Tegan declares. “That way, none of them will be confused about how you are mine.”

Mona’s demeanor turns serious. She furrows her brow, not quite resigning to her status as her fiancée. Instead, “Tegan, I have two fiancées now. And a girlfriend. I will probably have more by the time the week is done. I have no problem buying you a ring; in fact, I want to. But I am not going to treat you like you are above the others. Also, you have been scratching; are you okay?”

Tegan’s eye twitches. She keeps scratching. “I thought we went over this. You are mine and I am yours. We are supposed to be together, exclusively, forever. That is what you promised.”

“Well, that promise doesn’t make sense if keeping it exactly the way you want hurts everyone else. Also, the way you treat me like a burden instead of a blessing hurts me. So, let’s go buy you a ring, if you want, but I am getting one for Ootah and I will be giving one to everyone else if they want to be engaged to me. That understood?”

That hurts. Tegan’s ears are flat against her skull and her tails are drooping. The itching stops bothering her for the moment, “You really think that I view you as a burden, Mona?”

“Well, yeah. You always define whatever this is based on duty and promises to be kept. How can I not feel like a burden?”

“But...”

“Tell me how you feel about me, here, now, not the toddler who promised you something way back when.”

“You are mine and I am yours.”

Mona’s sigh cuts Tegan to the core. “Look, Tegan, I really do like you and I want to do whatever I can to make you happy. But, until I hear that notification ding when you say something like that, I won’t feel like you want me.”

Tegan feels her face scrunch up in anger. “Ding?”

“There is XP for romantically committing to me. Points Ootah earned this morning by asking me to propose to her.”

Tegan snarls, her blood beginning to boil over. Mona actively proposed to her? Why I oughta... Suddenly, there is a fox plushy shoved in Tegan’s face. Mona commands, “Hold this until you are done raging. I am so tired of always angry Tegan.”

She’s... tired of me? Tegan instinctively squeezes the stuffed fox. She feels calmer, almost detached from her emotions. Mona looks halfway to tears. The gamer girl says, “Our date is in two days. Maybe, instead of attacking the ones who want me as a real partner, you should figure out what I actually mean to you. Because current you is asking me to do something incredibly cruel to people I love and I won’t stand for it.”

Mona starts to walk away. Tegan whimpers, even with the numbing effect of the toy. What does Mona mean to me?

Mona: Weekly Bounty Update – Spend one-on-one time with every contestant (4/10)

Andromeda

The gardens are beautiful, even if they are a little strange. Jenny seems to be having an engaging conversation with a carob tree. Andromeda stays back and watches. The tiger-woman Nyadia stands back too.

“Is she going to be okay?” Andromeda asks, “I don’t understand the depths of her distress, but I do know that they are beyond me.”

“She likely will be,” Nyadia replies, “Her time on her old season was quite stressful. Her elimination was unjust and designed for maximum cruelty. She needs assurances that she will be safe and cared for with you all; that will take time.”

“If I may be so bold to ask, what was your time on the show like?”

The lazzorkat chuckles, “I am not the one to ask. I was incorporated into the harem on the last date of the season. Tyalangan and Josie rescued me from slavery, took me to see my goddess, and then we were basically already at the endgame. So, my time on the show was downright a blessing. The others can give you a more accurate description of it.”

Andromeda blinks, needing a moment to process. “Wait, you were enslaved? Like Mineko?”

“Not the exact same slavers and not under the exact same circumstances, but yes. They burned the forest that was my home and captured me. Forced me into being a sex gladiator. Mineko was born and raised into slavery. That is a big difference. I knew the taste of freedom; she does not. I know you all are already on it, but help the girl; she wants to be better and there is so much for her to learn.”

“Of course we will,” Jenny answers, walking over to them, “by the way, that tree has a bit of an attitude. Ready for our little test?”

Neither of them did great. Still, it was enough to get Jenny her skill.

Andromeda: Training Session Mixed Success (4 XP / 5 XP)

Andromeda: +4 XP (Training Session)

Jenny: Training Session Mixed Success (8 XP / 5 XP)

Jenny: +4 XP, Nature proficiency (Training Session)

Nyadia returns to tending to the garden as the two of them walk away. Andromeda is only vaguely aware of the warmth of the afternoon sun. Jenny seems to bask in it.

“So, how are you feeling now?”

“Honestly, a lot better. Thanks for looking out for me, Andromeda.”

“I don’t think I did all that much.”

“Well, sometimes, all you need is just knowing that someone cares. You did that for me today. Want to go relax with the bunnies until dinner? They are soft and mostly not wanting to eat me.”

It takes a few steps until Andromeda processes that, “You are joking, right?”

“I wish. At least that bunny asked first.”

Soon enough, they are both sitting at a table in the bunny bistro. Kevin is standing at a high-top table, seeming to be writing some kind of report? He briefly waves, then gets back to work. Jenny has a big glass of dirty water (apparently, it has potting soil added to it), which she is sipping as she pets a couple of bunnies hopping around the table. Andromeda gets just a hint of the softness of the rabbit fur; even with a couple of Level 3 spells embedded in her skin, her sense of touch still isn’t at 100% of what it was. The android arcanist tries to savor it anyways.

“You okay, Andromeda?”

“I’m fine."

“You don’t seem fine. You seem, I don’t know, a bit sad? Way too sad, seeing that you’re petting that little cutie pie.”

“Sense of touch is still a little numb.”

“Oh. Transformation trouble? I get that. But are you sure that’s it?”

Andromeda shrugs, “I am also not great at being a person.”

Jenny squeezes one of Andromeda’s hands. The look the woman gives her is one of concern. She notes, “You did well enough today. So many of us are a little messed up, huh?”

Andromeda thinks about that. I know that I am abnormal, despite what Scarlet said; I need to work on it. Jenny is still traumatized. Tegan is still an angry little ball of rage; today felt like a backsliding from what little progress she has done to solve that. Mineko is a mess from her terrible childhood. I am sure the others have issues, too.

“I suppose that you are right.”

Jenny smiles into her glass of soil slurry, “Of course I am. The question is: do you think that we can help work on each other together? I would like to think that I can.”

Andromeda nods. She needs to believe they can help each other.

Jenny continues, “Good. I need people that make me feel safe and cared for. So, how can I help you?”

“I found out this week that playing Leylines helps me socialize.”

Jenny furrows her brow. “Where have I heard about that game before? It’s a thing with special cards, right? I had someone tip me this weird card of a flesh cube floating in a cave once?”

“Wait, you got a Mana Vault as a tip once?”

“The nerd said it was a trash rare?”

Andromeda’s eye blinks in and out. It feels like a twitch in her brain. It’s fine. She doesn’t know. Jenny offers Andromeda a pat on the hand. “I guess I said a dumb thing?”

“It’s restricted in vintage and banned in legacy.”

“I don’t know what that means, but if you want, you can teach me at some point.” The bunny Andromeda was petting hops into her lap. Jenny giggles then sips her water.

Winter walks in to kiss Kevin. He asks the bull-man, “How goes the Hotel season report?”

Andromeda watches Jenny tense up. It’s Andromeda’s turn to offer some comfort. She squeezes the dryad’s hand. Kevin sees the reaction, too. “Hey, Jenny, I asked to make some reports so we can navigate the game better. Apparently, Mona is heading to a wedding? I’m doing the work for those seasons first. Tyalangan promised that some of these seasons are nice. Any of you three want to help me after dinner?”

Andromeda answers, “I would not mind helping if you want me. Jenny, would you feel okay watching a supposed nice season?”

Jenny relaxes ever so slightly, “Can I think on it? Maybe after dinner?”

Nodding, the group starts to put bunnies back and pack up notes. It’s nearly time for everyone to congregate at the canteen.