Restless

My night had been restless, I had spent hours tossing and turning, going over my experience with J again and again. When I had crawled into bed Katherine had still been sitting on the couch, her eyes locked on her phone. She hadn't talked to me for the rest of the evening and I was sure that I'd be hearing about sometime in the future. When she had finally come to bed I had pretended to be asleep, pulling the cover halfway over my face and laying as still as I could. Eventually, when I did drift off to sleep, my alarm awoke me abruptly at seven in the morning, forcing me to get up again and face another day.

Katherine wouldn't start work until an hour after I had already started, which gave me some strange comfort. It meant that I could spend my morning on my own, going through my usual routine without the distraction of anybody else. After eating breakfast, showering and getting dressed, I sat on the couch tying my shoes, ready to leave. Suddenly I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, a new notification popping up. It was from Grindr and again I cursed myself for forgetting to turn off the notification for the app once more. Looking around suspiciously, half expecting Katherine to pop up out of our bedroom, I opened the app to read the message. It was from J.

"Heyy, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed yesterday and I hope we can do it again some time, maybe even meet up someplace where we can have some proper fun..." I read the message about four or five times, thinking that I might just ignore him and delete the app all together. Eventually I decided against it, the butterflies in my stomach getting the best of me as I began to write my response.

"I had a good time too, haven't been able to get it out of my mind. What do you have in mind when you say 'proper fun'?" I stood up and grabbed my coat, taking my keys out of the bowl by the front door and stepping outside, my phone still in my hand.

J responded very quickly and I stood frozen outside of my apartment for a few seconds, waiting for what he had to say. "Well, I'm not sure if you're into all that, but I'm going to a sex-party Friday night at an underground club in the old movie theater in town. I've been before and it's always a lot of fun. Lots of hot guys, private rooms, glory holes and cocktails... If you'd like, we could go together? I'm sure they'd all be very happy to have a stud like you show up." Slowly I walked down the stairs, reading the message over and over, putting my phone in my pocket and staring blankly at walls passing me by. Downstairs I wandered into the small car park outside of the apartment building, finding my car and pushing my key into the door. Sitting down behind the wheel I tried to weigh the pro's and cons of J's request, my mind completely jumbled with panicked excitement.

After catching my breath, right before pushing my key into the ignition, I began typing back. "That sounds like a very big step for me, I'm not really that experienced when it comes to this whole scene. I'm honestly not sure what to say." I felt it best to just be honest with him, I mean, I'd had the guys dick down my throat, what would be the point in lying to him?

"I understand baby, I had gotten that feeling yesterday, it's totally fine if you don't want to go, but think about it because I'm very sure you'd enjoy it. Btw, what are you doing for lunch today?" I shook my head and smiled, knowing that I had woken up this morning with some very specific, hopeful plans for my lunch break today...