Restful Saturday

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I wake up feeling the most rested I have in days. {if pill_production=true} The morning tingle is back, and it might actually be what woke me up, but the discomfort is fading fast. {endif}I try not to think about anything, no **** plots, no money concerns, no wild fantasies about treating my surprisingly cooperative neighbor like a hooker.

I make my bed in peace, allowing myself to get back into the comfortable routines I have been too rushed or tired to maintain. All I need to do today is go to the gym, make a delivery for Victoria, then update my resumé. After that I can fantasize or worry about what comes next. After making the bed, I look at my pile of dirty clothes. It is getting too large. I had better add that to my afternoon’s plans. I go to the kitchen and make an omelette with my last eggs. I sigh, realizing I can’t ignore that my groceries are getting sparse. Add that to the list, too. Suddenly my Saturday is looking pretty full, but I can still relax as I get everything done. After eating, I get my gym bag together and head out, glad to have a reason to do a long session again.

Arriving at the gym parking lot, I see wind is still going strong and judging by the fast-moving clouds, it looks like it might rain soon. Inside the gym, I spot Cesar immediately. He is working with Lenard again, so I try to keep our conversation brief.

“Hey! Amigo! Give me the news!” He looks cheery today.

“Morning, Cesar! Hi, Lenard.” Lenard nods between reps. If I start telling them about the crazy night I just had with Kaitlyn, I’m going to be thinking about it all workout. I am committed to keeping things zen today, so I refrain from getting into it. “Nothin much this week, but I’ve got things developing... It will probably lead to a good story. How about you? Got a story for me?” Cesar’s wide grin turns to a full smile.

“You know it, brother.” He waits until Lenard finishes his set and racks his weights. Cesar steps closer to me and speaks at a less public volume. “My ex gave me a drunk booty-call.” It has happened before, usually right after she had a breakup. Cesar’s infectious smile tells me there is more to it this time.

“Sounds familiar. What happened this time?” Usually there is some sort of argument involved, a domestic disturbance in the worst cases. I hope things worked out better than that this time. I see Lenard smiling, too. He has probably heard the story a couple times already.

“I told her to come over.... But I didn’t tell her that Lenard was hanging out with me. When that bitch is drunk and horny, she won’t say no to anything.” The two of them pounded knuckles.

“No way!” I look back and forth at them. They both nod.

“Yeah, bro. We stuffed her good. She had’t even had a break-up this time, just a fight. So we helped ’work out her stress’, You could say.”

“That bitch went home a new woman after we were done with her,” Lenard adds.

“Woah—Don’t talk about my ex like that, bro.” Lenard raises a hand in apology. “He is right, though. The bitch loved it,” Cesar admitted.

I shake my head. “You two should be marriage counselors.”

“Yeah! Now you are thinking on my level. I’ll start putting up flyers in coffee shops.”

Lenard laughs. “When we are done with you, you won’t have any fucking problems.” They laughed.

“Shit. That story is going to be hard to top. Still... I think I might have you beat, but you’ll have to wait for it.”

“Oh, you think so?” He looks doubtful, still basking in the glory of his own encounter. “I can’t wait, amigo. I want a story so good that they carve it onto a monument.”

Oh, it will be monumental alright. Although it might be carved on a headstone if everything blows up in my face.

I let them get back to their workouts and I start mine. I shake off the bawdy conversations and try to focus on a solid, full-body workout. I hit the abs hard, then move to glutes, then chest and arms. I’m about to start on quads when I get a text.

Mindy: Help!!!

I stop what I’m doing and wait for more information, heart starting to pound for reasons other than exertion. I mentally prepare to change gears. After five long seconds, I go into the locker room to grab my bag.

Then I get a finally get a followup text. It is a pic from her of a grocery cart full of chips, crackers, cookies and ice cream. She is on a full-blown junk food shopping spree.

Warren: STOP!!!

Warren: Ditch that cart and start over!

Warren: But put the ice cream away first.

Mindy: BUT I WANT THEM!

Warren: No you don’t. That cart is a fail. Start over.

Warren: NOW!

Mindy: Grrr... fine.

Mindy: But I’m keeping the ice cream.

Warren: Go get a smaller container then.

Mindy: You are no fun.

Warren: Whatever. I am having all kinds of fun at the gym right now.

Mindy: I doubt that very much.

I decide to send her a selfie of how much fun the gym can be.