Reed Richards Takes Ben Grimm's Advice

"H.E.R.B.I.E.," Reed Richards announced in his lab. "Activate private mode."

"Activated," the robot said.

Mr. Fantastic took a deep breath. "I need a precis of all oral sex techniques involving women. Full database spread, internet, and dark net. Rank by complexity, and efficacy as far as sexual satisfaction. I want a neural download prepared for learning these techniques."

H.E.R.B.I.E. paused.

"Processing this request will take considerable time," the robot said.

"Activate quantum computing functions," the hero said, knowing it would mean devoting nearly all of his lab's computing power and borrowing additional processing from alternate universes. "And cross-correlate with medical data. I want to be able to understand how these techniques actually function on female anatomy."

Reed Richards spent the afternoon playing with Valeria and Franklin. His smile was easy as he showed them how to build things in four dimensions with simple tesseracts. Enjoyed their smiles and laughter. Sue Storm, freshly back from wherever she disappeared to in the afternoons, came in and joined them. By the time for dinner, the four-dimensional cubes formed an ornate tree that covered most of the living room.

Ben Grimm appeared with fresh pizza. Reed and Sue put the tesseracts away, folding them carefully as the kids ran for the pizza. He smiled at her as their fingers touched. For a moment, she smiled back—and then her gaze gew distant, unsure. She pulled her hand back too swiftly.

After dinner, Reed announced: "I'm going to be rather late in the lab tonight. Don't wait up."

Sue smiled at him. That long-suffering smile of someone who had long ago ceased waiting up. It made Reed's heart hurt to see it.

"I won't," she said. "Have fun."

Mister Fantastic's steps to the lab were heavy. His smile dropped. He could almost feel himself losing her. This called for heroic measures.

The chair sat in a not-often-used part of the lab. A project based on Cerebro and the mental programming devices used by the Squadron Supreme. Capable of directly rewiring the brain and nervous system, as well as reconfiguring muscle fibers. To instill not just knowledge, but muscle memory. A novice could become a grandmaster in mere moments.

"The download is ready," H.E.R.B.I.E. announced.

Reed settled himself in the chair. He let the helmet settle over his head, blocking out his vision. The neural contacts brushed against his skull, and he adjusted his brain and skull for optimal fit.

"Do it," Reed said.

A not-inconsiderable portion of the sum of human knowledge was devoted to oral sex. Even limiting the topic to pleasuring women left a vast media to sift through. Hundreds of thousands of hours of video. Millions of pages of text. Billions of images, from ancient clay erotic figures to high-resolution digital images. All of which was distilled across computers on dozens of words, translated into a single package.

Reed Richard's fingers gripped the arms of the chair, his lips peeled back to bare his teeth, entire elastic body suddenly rigid as his body and mind were reprogrammed for the task at hand. Ten thousand years of human sexual knowledge were burned into his brain, until his lips and tongue could recognize the shape of a pussy in his sleep and bring a woman to climax through pure instinct.

There was a cost—there was always a cost to such things—as the massive re-wiring was forced to overwrite certain of his own memories, especially those involved with oral sex. Whatever pitiful skills he once had were gone, replaced with the cold precision of the skill software being downloaded into his grey matter. His tongue shifted through different shapes, sizes, textures, and Reed knew that while he would have greater facility with shaping his tongue, lips, and mouth to the task at hand, he would have to re-learn how to do all the funny voices when he read stories to Franklin and Valeria.

It was, he hoped, worth it.

Well after midnight, Sue Storm woke to see her husband stagger toward the bed. His eyes were bloodshot, burned out as though he had been staring at screens all night, but there was a strange smile on his face.

"Darling?" Sue asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, as he pulled the sheet away to stare at his wife. Sue wore only a large Fantastic Four t-shirt to sleep, not even panties. His eyes traced her bare legs hungrily. "I'd like to do something for you. Something I haven't done nearly enough in our married life. Sue, darling, would you mind if I ate your pussy for a while?"

Sue Storm blinked. This wasn't just a rare occurrence. It was practically unique. Her eyes narrowed.

"Mister, you better not be a Skrull," she announced.

Mister Fantastic gave that tired smile as he knelt on the bed, crawling toward Sue's crotch.

"No, darling," he said. "I'm not a Skrull. Please. Let me show you how much I love you."

The Invisible Woman's mouth twitched. She had no idea what was going on here. The Reed she knew was an amateur who hardly ever ate her out. Still...what was the worst that could happen? A few licks, a fake orgasm, and marital peace maintained.

She sighed and spread her legs, letting the shirt ride up and exposing her slit.

"Alright, darling. How could I refuse you?"

Reed smiled...and got to work.