Reed Richards Goes To Tony Stark

"...and there were Doombots, Tony," Reed Richards finished his explanation. "Whatever's happened to Sue, Doom's behind it."

Tony Stark was dressed in his latest version of the Iron Man armor, face plate open and eyes attentive as Mister Fantastic told his tale. Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm hovered around the edges of the conversation, offered additional details, careful not to touch anything in Stark's laboratory.

It was the day after their arrival. Since their ominous retreat from their home, Reed's first stop had been to Agatha Harkness' house outside of Salem, to make sure Franklin and Valeria were safe. Oddly, the old woman didn't seem surprised at Reed's whispered explanation, but agreed to keep the children safe until the situation was resolved. They had ditched the Fantasticar, since it was too easy to track, and made their way to one of Tony Stark's secret laboratories. There to wait impatiently for Iron Man to arrive to Richard's distress call.

"Gotta be mind control or somethin'," the Thing added. "Ain't no way Suzie could act like...I mean she was..."

"My sister's not a cheating slut!" Johnny Storm said. He bit his lip. His voice didn't have the same confidence as his words.

"She is," Tony Stark said flatly. "That's part of the reason it took me so long to answer your call. Sue had called Pepper and others to meet her. She's getting her version of the narrative out there in front of the superhero community—and I think you need to see this, Reed."

Iron Man's hands moved in mid-air, typing rapidly at a holographic keypad. The table they sat at hummed to life. From the crystal surface, a dozen holographic windows opened. Reed watched and grimaced. In real-time, Mister Fantastic saw bank accounts being emptied, accounts locked out, alerts tagged on Reed, Ben, and Johnny's profiles on S.H.I.E.L.D. and other databases.

"Officially, you're now fugitives," Tony said with a frown. "The charges are spurious—overdue library books, unpaid parking tickets, allegations of tax fraud—but warrants have been signed for your arrest, and since you're superhumans, enforcement has been kicked up to S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Overdue library books?" Ben's stony brow furrowed with a sound like rocks grinding against each other.

"I, uh, have a few under my bed," Johnny confessed. "I was studying an ancient tantric technique..."

"Tryin' to suck your own pecker," Ben shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"There's more," Tony said. "Look at this."

A single window opened, pushed the others out of the way. It was a long-range view of the Baxter Building's roof. A pink, overweight humanoid with a distinct porcine head was visible, smoking a cigar. Stark pressed a button, and the imaging switched to some kind of multidimensional scan. The body pulsed with strange colors.

"That's an extradimensional energy signature," Reed said. "The same one we were trying to track down!"

Stark nodded. "Doom's...associate...isn't from around here. He probably set up that **** in Central Park specifically to draw you out. Sent you on an interdimensional wild goose chase. Isolated Sue while she was ****."

Reed and the others grimaced as they realized how they had been played.

"So whatta we do? I mean, this guy don't look so tough," Ben said.

"By himself, no," Reed said. "But there are Doombots. And if Sue is truely suborned, her power..."

"...might not be an issue," Tony Stark said. "If you still have a sample of that radioactive isotope that inhibited her powers."

Mister Fantastic blinked. "You want to weaponize it?"

"Seems like the best option. I can provide AI-run armor to engage the Doombots, Ben can handle this character, and you and Johnny can grab Sue. Once she's secure, we can work on figuring out what they did to her...bring in telepaths, clear out any **** or nanobots are in her system, whatever is necessary," Stark said.

"I dunno, Stretch," Ben scratched his chin. "I mean, you figgered that radioactive doohickey would depower any woman supe, right? Ain't makin' a raygun that depowers only women sorta lettin' a genie outta the bottle? Lot of the superladies ain't gonna like that."

"Ben, please," Tony said. "Doom and his associate have already weaponized this isotope. We're just leveling the playing field. Once Sue is back to her old self, we can sort this whole thing out. After all, with two geniuses at work, what could go wrong?"