Reed Richards Finds The Porn in the DVD Player

"Hmm? What's this?"

Mister Fantastic frowned as he stared at the garish disc revealed. The press of a few buttons swiftly confirmed that it was exactly what it looked like. Yet who...

"H.E.R.B.I.E.," Reed asked quietly. "Who was using the DVD player before me?"

"Mrs. Susan Richards," the small robot responded automatically.

"This disc?" Reed asked, for clarity.

"Yes. Mrs. Richards left the DVD in the player when she was finished," H.E.R.B.I.E. confirmed.

Reed twiddled the DVD on his finger, frowning. There were no cameras in any of the bedrooms or bathrooms, no way to see what Sue had been up to during the time she played this disc. For that matter, there was no way to tell where she had gotten this DVD. Reed Richard's frown deepened as his mind made several intuitive leaps. It wasn't like Sue to watch pornography, much less lesbian pornography. Yet before he broached the subject with her, he required more information.

The empty DVD tray retracted into the player. Reed Richards brought the DVD into the lab and set it into his Media Analyzer.

"Scan. Extract. Extrapolate," he said aloud, and lasers played across the surface.

Surface-level scans revealed fingerprints. Deeper scans revealed details of the physical manufacture of the device. The data content was extracted and analyzed. Internet searches identified all actors, production companies. Reed Richards sat back, fingers steepled together, his brown eyes reading the data as it emerged.

On the surface, the data showed a low-grade, independently produced pornographic DVD involving no familiar actors and no traceable production company.

Scans of the actors turned up a few hits. One of them, Reed noted, was Dr. Karla Stone, Sue's new psychiatrist. That was interesting.

Deeper scans, however, revealed something truly alarming...