Qingyi and Zhu Yuan, officers of New Eridu Public Security

“Through this door is the in-house botanical garden. Through that one is the reptile house. Through that one is VR golf. That one is a private cinema. That one is a modern arcade and that one is a retro arcade. Through there is the casino and through there is one with casino decor but it's really more for a stage show.”

The tour seemed endless. The Loverboo explained each door in passing, pointing them out with its heart-tipped arrows and barely spending a moment on one before moving on to the next. If this was a video game, he'd be complaining about the length of the guided tutorial. "Is there even going to be time to use all of this? I think you may have vastly overestimated the number of women I know, if you think you're going to pack a hotel this big with them."

"And I think you vastly underestimate how long it may take to get all of you into a happy harem. I can't have anyone getting bored. We pride ourselves on our amenities."

“Amenities? These all seem like date spots. This is starting to feel less like a hotel and more like a… actually, I don’t know any place that would have all of this. A theme park, maybe,” Wise remarked.

“Oh, we haven’t even gotten to the really fun ones yet. Those I’ll show you once we begin the contests.” The Loverboo stopped in front of a smaller door, gesturing for Wise to go inside. “Though, this one isn’t bad. After you, darling.”

Wise was barely paying attention on the tour, instead focusing on the constant question of how he and the contestants were going to make it off the island. As such, he wasn’t looking at any signage on the door, and the room he was in barely registered until the door shut behind him. It was… a bathroom. A very nice bathroom, to be fair. There was a floral fragrance in the air, another scattering of red rose petals, and even a little Bangboo attendant with towels and mints by the door, but all of that sort of clashed with the fact that this was a bathroom with four stalls and two sinks. The fixtures were a little less gaudy than in the rest of the building, with black, featureless exteriors to each stall, lightly illuminated with pink from the glowing floor tiles. In other words, this room wasn’t really intended to be anything arousing. It was just a public bathroom.

As another figure approached from where she’d been sitting over by the sinks, he realized that this restroom was different and exciting compared to bathrooms he’d been in before in one key way: it was a girl’s restroom. That explained why there were no urinals, in hindsight.

“This confirms my theory: Wise is the designated ‘Master’ after all,” the girl chuckled to herself, raising one gloved finger in a “Eureka” type gesture. “Because only a blind man or a supremely confident man would stroll into the women’s bathroom as casually as you just did.”

“What’s a robot doing using the bathroom anyway?” Wise asked with a dry chuckle, using banter to hide his embarrassment as he felt for the door handle behind him.

The robot in question was Qingyi, a member of New Eridu Public Security– or NEPS– typically stationed in Lumina City. Her dark, greenish pigtails swished mesmerically through the air as she shook her head– she was one of those types whose every simple motion seemed somehow mesmerizing, perhaps because she was also a martial arts master. “I’m not using the bathroom, obviously. I’m human-like, but I’m not that human-like. Sorry to disappoint you– you seem like you were hoping to catch someone in the act.”

Ordinarily, the two were on pretty good terms, but being walked in on the bathroom would make anyone angry. The girl was fairly short in stature and not particularly muscular or filled out in any sense, but her blue uniform, with shorts and a tactical vest, identified her as a police officer with recognized authority in the city. It was a little strange that she got away with exposing her belly and wearing shorts up past her thighs as a police officer, but perhaps rules were different for robots. Besides that, as mentioned– martial arts master, in addition to being a powerful android. It would probably be smart for him to make his apologies quick.

“Sorry, the Loverboo sort of tricked me into walking in here.”

“Do you know the expression: ‘actions speak louder than words?’” Qingyi asked, putting on a friendly smile.

“Of course.”

“Then you know what you should be doing right now.”

Wise laughed awkwardly, then finally grabbed the door’s handle to push it back open. It seemed to be stuck– it felt like someone was holding it on the other side. It wasn’t quite as stuck as the front door to the hotel had been, but it was definitely going to be hard to do by himself. “Qingyi, I’d like you to help me open this, but first, I actually have something else I want to do.”

“Something else you want to do in the bathroom, as a man with a woman? I can’t help but speculate.”

“No… I just wanted to confirm we’re on the same page.” He sighed, lowering his voice to a whisper and releasing his hold on the door. “I’m guessing you’re one of the contestants here too. I’m designated the Master, but I didn’t choose to be. I need us all to work together to get out of here, even if the format is a contest. Will you be willing to help me?”

“I am willing, of course. It’s my duty to protect all citizens. As such, allow me to protect you right now.”

“Huh?”

Qingyi suddenly grabbed onto Wise’s shoulders hard with both hands, catching them in a metallic vice grip that didn’t match her girlish appearance, and pulled him down towards the floor tiles. Nobody wants to touch the floor in a bathroom, even one looking so freshly clean, but Wise found his face thrust down into it before he could block himself with his hands.

At the same time, a sort of stringy twang sounded out from behind them and a pink laser beam fired into the bathroom through a small crack in the door he'd stopped holding. The laser bounced across the reflective surfaces inside the bathroom like crazy, drawing colorful lines in the air like someone's over-tuned screensaver graphic. Qingyi held Wise down from behind, bearing down on his back with her body to keep him from rising into the team's trajectory. Finally, the beam bounced over one of the stalls and seemed to cease its path after hitting something inside with a metallic clang.

“What was that?” Wise whispered, feeling his heart hammer in his chest. He wasn't used to personally being in the middle of gunfire, not like the agents serving as contestants here tended to be. Usually, if there was ****, it'd be him remotely controlling the Bangboo inside of it, not him risking his own life and limb.

“An arrow,” Qingyi responded, slowly lifting her modest chest off of his back. Despite her being a robot, she turned out to be rather light in weight. “Probably Loverboo's, although I only saw it poking through the entrance. It had the same heart-shaped pink tip.”

Wise couldn't believe it. That had to be at least a bullet, if not a hi-tech laser beam– nothing could be launched at that velocity by a toy bow and arrow like Loverboo's. “Why would the host shoot at me?”

“In hindsight, I suspect she had a different target. Based on the arrow's trajectory and speed, she knew that I would react and protect you. The probability of firing a projectile into that small slot above the stall door with a random shot is below 0.001%-- it was premeditated. Therefore, I suspect the culprit's intention was…” Qingyi paused, placing one hand thoughtfully at her chin.

"... Was?" Wise urged her, slowly lifting himself up to his feet while watching the bathroom door for any sign of another arrow.

"Look out, Wise! It's a bomb."

The young man, to her surprise, returned a dubious expression. "No, it's not a bomb."

"How do you know?"

"I'm sorry, Qingyi, but your acting skills aren't up to snuff. When I was nearly shot by an arrow, you sprang straight into action. Now, when it's a bomb, you just verbally warn me?" he laughed, placing one hand on her shoulder. "Look, we're in this together. Whatever's in there, I can handle it." Ignoring her next attempt to protest, he walked past, pushing the stall door open with one hand. "It's... Officer Zhu Yuan?"

The woman inside was instantly recognizable by her stature. Officer Zhu Yuan was a little taller even than Wise, both statuesque and glamorous, with a figure that made her the star of the police **** and the wet dream of many citizens. Her hair, black with red streaks and styled in an up-do ponytail, was stylish as ever. Her outfit was pristine, with a familiar blue-and-green checkered tie, stately white button-up, and everything covered over in a blue uniform jacket, black tactical vest, and extremely tight fitting black pants...

... Actually, that last part wasn't quite how it usually was. Her tights were down, pooled around her ankles and embedded in the tile floor by an arrow, still vibrating with the **** of its impact. The red-faced officer had one hand on the arrow, trying to pull it free, and the other crossed between her bare legs to hide her sex, which she knew would be visible as soon as the door creaked open. Her knees were knocking together in embarrassment as the sight of her, seated to pee with her pants pulled down her legs and irretrievable thanks to the arrow, was revealed to Wise.

"Officer?" Wise repeated dumbly, his brain slow to react.

"Just Zhu Yuan is fine! A-and close the door, please!"

He slammed it shut, but it wouldn't quite stay closed-- it seemed the arrow had bounced off the lock before embedding in her pants. "What are you doing in there?"

Qingyi sighed, shaking her head. "I think you know the answer to that question already. There's an expression: 'a gentleman never asks and a lady never tells.' You shouldn't make her say it."

"Wait! That's making it sound like I was doing something bad in here! I wasn't doing anything but... but you know..." Zhu Yuan defended in a shaky voice, sounding on the verge of tears.

"First off, I apologize, sincerely. But also, why didn't you just say something?! I wouldn't have looked if you spoke up and warned me," Wise called out to the stall, as he crossed his arms and turned his back. His face was nearly as red as hers was-- this whole thing, from walking into the woman's bathroom to peeking on Zhu Yuan, was pretty much his fault.

"As an officer of the law, I have an image to uphold. I can't let citizens think of me as..."

"As someone who urinates?" he asked incredulously.

"Correct! I-I was waiting for you to leave the room! I didn't want to pull my pants up because all of the metal I wear on them would drag on the floor, so you'd hear it. I didn't want you picturing me on the toilet!"

"If only you hadn't hung around, Wise. Loitering is a punishable offense," Qingyi joked, smiling in amusement and looking like she was having a hard time stifling a laugh.

"Okay... We're just going to pretend I didn't see anything. That will make it easier for everyone," Wise laughed, trying to defuse the tension. In reality, he had gotten a pretty clear view of the rare sight of Zhu Yuan's bare skin-- her hand between her legs had just barely managed to hide her grooming habits. Then again, it wasn't like her usual pants left much to the imagination. Wise checked behind himself once again to make sure the bathroom door was shut, then cleared his throat. "I'm going to need both of you to help the group. This whole thing is framed as a contest, but we can only escape if we all work together."

Nicole and Anby had both affirmed that while they wanted to help, their loyalty to each other came first. Grace and Koleda had essentially done the same thing-- even if it was for the good of the group, he couldn't ask them to do anything that would jeopardize the safety of the ones they cared about the most. As for Qingyi and Zhu Yuan...

"You have our full support," Zhu Yuan answered, seeming eager to regain her credibility as a police officer. "Everyone here is a citizen of New Eridu. It's my job as a public safety officer to make sure you all make it home, whatever it takes. To that end I recognize that I may have to... act a part that would ordinarily be considered immoral, indecent, or unbecoming of an officer in the days to come. Don't worry-- I'm committed."

"Me too," Qingyi added, then smirked teasingly. "Even if my 'Master' is a goofball who barges into women's bathrooms and straight into the stall of a shy girl who's trying to relieve herself."

Wise and Zhu Yuan both shivered in humiliation, each looking for another topic to serve as a description. They each got their solution as monitors flipped out from the tiles in the bathroom walls, bearing Qingyi's face. Loverboo wasn't around to explain what was happening, but they'd been through enough introductions by this point to get the gist.

"Contestant number five is Qingyi! A mysterious robot found in the ruins of ancient civilization, she's devoted herself to becoming an acclaimed police officer. Along with Zhu Yuan, she patrols the streets to protect the citizenry and stamp out crime with her skill as a martial artist. Robots are fair game for harems, as everyone knows! They can be reprogrammed just like humans can, maybe easier! With a mind like a mysterious old hermit's, a body like a young woman's, robotic strength, and a bit of a bisexual streak, she's certainly a unique contestant. Her dream is to support Zhu Yuan until they weed out corruption in the highest echelons of New Eridu's ruling class! Her charm point is her slender body... it's kind of slender in a different way than Koleda's. Her best personality trait is her wisdom, which, combined with her natural intuition, makes her an ideal officer. Her worst personality trait is her know-it-all behavior and the way she never takes it easy on beginners in any games she plays."

"I won't be pulling punches here, either," Qingyi smirked, looking proud to own up to her supposed worst trait. "Not that my goal is to win the harem game. But if it was... I'd win for sure. These contestants are all kids compared to me."

"A-Are you saying you have romantic experience?" Zhu Yuan asked from inside the stall.

Imagining her expression made Qingyi grin. "I'll hold that secret for now."

Wise rubbed his chin thoughtfully, trying to imagine who'd taken a life-long police robot's first kiss, if it had indeed ever been taken.

"Contestant number six is Zhu Yuan! This popular police officer turns heads all around town with her flashy gunplay and her near-flashing tight pants that let you see just about everything. She tends to bounce back and forth in the esteem of her employers-- she's photogenic, dutiful, and absurdly hard working, but she also has a tendency to stick her nose where it doesn't belong into their shady business. We'll see how she likes Wise sticking his nose all up in her business! Her dream is to keep all of the people of New Eridu safe-- that's it. Really. Her charm point is-- I don't think I have to say it-- her ass. Her best personality trait is her ass. Wait, that's not a personality trait. I meant it's her straightforward and honest nature-- while she seems a little intimidating at first, she's become popular with the city due to her kind attentiveness. Her worst personality trait is that she's a prude and a big stick in the mud when it comes into anything not straight by the books."

"Devoting two different lines to my body shape was pretty tasteless," Zhu Yuan sighed, sounding dejected. She had to deal with a lot of cat calls even outside of the game. "Their description of my personality was also rather insulting. I'm not a prude or a stick in the mud..."

"Mm hm. Not at all. Also, they didn't even mention how fun you are to tease," Qingyi added.

"W-Wait a minute, Qingyi. Did yours say something about bisexuality? You've never talked to me about that before."

"It's not my duty to divulge my preferences, is it?"

Sensing a pretty private conversation coming up, Wise coughed into one fist and moved back towards the door out of the bathroom. "Sorry again for all the trouble, officers. I look forward to meeting you two again under less stressful circumstances. Thanks again for your help-- you two don't need to shoulder everything alone here. I've talked to the others. They aren't planning on acting totally selflessly, I should warn you. Grace has to look out for Koleda. I'm sure Koleda will do likewise. Anby and Nicole are definitely going to prioritize each other's well-being."

Qingyi gave him a blank look, tilting her head slightly. "Yes, of course. That much is obvious."

"Are you two not feeling the same way? You are partners and you do seem pretty close."

"I understand why you'd think that, but we'll put the citizens first," Zhu Yuan answered. Qingyi's expression was unreadable and she remained silent, but she nodded along regardless.

Wise wondered if that sense of duty could really hold up to the types of modifications that Loverboo had talked about making. He'd just have to keep his fingers crossed. For now, he left Zhu Yuan to fix her wardrobe malfunction and Qingyi to help her, as he moved back to the lobby where the remote-controlled Bangboo was waiting.

Its expression seemed to grin at him despite a lack of a mouth. "Ha ha ha! The look on your face! I'm sorry! I can't resist a prank," Loverboo giggled, holding its chubby sides with both of its nubby paws. "Priceless. Ah, but you should know... if another host was in charge of this event, you'd be meeting the girls all in lingerie or stark naked. She should be happy you didn't find her topless as well as bottomless. I am quite merciful."

"It's no lie when I say I appreciate that," Wise spoke through his teeth, growing tired of the antics. Speaking of growing tired... there were still more contestants to meet, somehow.