Epilogue: Blaze's Suicide Squad: Mission Maternity

"Whitebird, the perimeter is clear," Flagg spoke into the mic. "Do you have eyes on target?"

"Copy that, Whitebird," Harley Quinn said. "I can see everything."

"Harleen," Lois Lane huffed. "If you're recording this I'm going to shove that camera down your cockhole!"

The Daily Planet's Greatest Reporter was naked, sensors strapped to the belt across her massively gravid belly. The nurse had just finished complimenting Blaze on what a lovely job she'd done shaving her wife before the big event. The demon, in her human form, held the reporter's hand and massaged her shoulder as another contraction hit.

It was hour four of the labor.

Outside the delivery room, King Shark and Killer Croc stood guard.

"I'm just sayin', my mom did a water birth," King Shark said. "It's a beautiful, natural thing."

There was a scream from within. Sensitive nostrils flared and drank in the scent of amniotic fluid.

"Here we go," Croc reached up and tapped his earpiece. "Bluebird. The party has started, repeat, the party has started."

"Copy that, Bluebird," Flagg said from the rooftop. He stared down at the street nearest the delivery room. "Won't be long now, so keep frosty."

Twenty-Four Hours Earlier

Amanda Waller steepled her fingers, elbows resting on her desk. Rick Flagg stood at attention.

"You want to utilize official government resources to protect Blaze's wife while she gives birth," the black woman said.

"Yes, ma'am. We've received some intelligence that could suggest—"

"Cut the shit, Flagg," Waller said wearily. "Since that devil has joined up, we've had three unexpected pregnancies to contend with."

Flagg started. "Three? I know Katana, and Poison Ivy..."

Waller grimaced. "I just found out myself. Thought I was too old."

Flagg swallowed. The less about his commanding officer's sex life he knew, the better.

"She's been a valuable part of the team, ma'am," he said. "No fatalities in nine missions. That's a record. On top of that, we do have actionable intelligence of a superhuman threat. This is Suicide Squad business."

Waller sighed, and gripped the arms of her chair. Was it Flagg's imagination, or was her stomach protruding a bit more than normal? He couldn't tell, and tried not to stare.

"What kind of threat are we talking about?"

Now

"Ah shit. This is Blackbird, we've got movement in the maternity wing..." Captain Boomerang pulled out his boomerangs. Screams preceded the naked, shambling corpses that had emerged from the stairwell, many of them still displaying the Y-shaped incisions from their autopsy.

"Redbird checking in. Tentacle cultists in the emergency room," Katana slid her magic blade free of its sheath, especially conscious now of the slight swell in her own stomach.

"Greybird checking in. There's a truck offloading at the loading dock...some kind of scientist-geek is riding what looks like a giant squid." Deadshot said from his sniper's nest. "I've got a shot."

"Take it!" Flagg said. "Take the shot! All points, engage!" he yelled...and only then did he smell something, like a teenager's crusty sock and the reek of decaying meat...and turned to see rotting ninjas, the skin hanging off their dead erections as they closed in on him.

"Aaaaagh!" Lois screamed. "It hurts!"

"It's okay, sweetmeat!" Blaze said, her whole body giving the lie to her soothing words as she sought to comfort her wife. "You're doing great!"

"Fuck!" the doctor swore. Blood spurted out and sprayed her mask and goggles. "Where's the anesthesiologist?"

"I don't know!" the nurse said. "The whole hospital is on lockdown, it's like we're under siege!"

"AAAAARGH!" Lois screamed, and arched her back. Her pregnant belly lurched as she thrust her pussy at the doctor's face. "Get these fucking things out of me!"

"Oh god," Harley said, the camcorder shaking. "Oh, I am so not showing this to Pam...this is some Eli Roth shit..."

There was a commotion in the hallway. The rip and tear of flesh, horrible stomps and cracks, loud booms. Harley looked back and forth from the video to the door...and making up her mind, tossed the camera to the nurse and ran to pile furniture against the door.

"Get a close-up!" the clown princess of crime shouted. "I want to see how far her perineum rips!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!" Lois Lane's scream pierced the air...and then choked off as new, harsh cry, high pitched and new to this world, split the air.

And a few minutes later, a second.

After

"It was really great that the Justice League showed up when they did," Harley said, and sipped her tequila. "But we had the whole zombie situation under control."

"You weren't there," Captain Boomerang said with a shudder. His hand was wrapped tight around an Australian lager. "Some of the zombies were pregnant. I...urgh. I had to do things." He took a deep pull. "Hey, are there any brothels in Metropolis?"

The bartender leaned over and scribbled some directions on his napkin.

"We should all count our blessings," Katana said, staring ruefully into her virgin bloody mary. "Some of the patients and nurses couldn't outrun the tentacles. Where are they now?"

"Waller decided to put them in protective custody. Off the grid. Until she can figure out who spilled where Blaze was and when to strike. I think she's...got a lot to think about, these days. About how **** we are, if they decide to strike through our families." Rick Flagg held Katana's hand tightly. He hadn't let go of it for a long time.

There was a knock at the door. Hands went to weapons...but the owner just casually strolled out from behind the bar and opened it, letting in Killer Croc and King Shark with the stacks of pizzas. Deadshot followed behind with a cake.

Flagg relaxed a little, then stood up. "Well, Blaze is with us in spirit...so let's have a toast: to new life!"

"New life!" Came the ragged cheer.

After After

"A fertility charm? Really?" Lois said. She was still on bed rest, recovering from the birth. But from here she could reach out and rock the double-crib that held the twins. Blake and Blair Blaze-Lane. Even their little horns were pink.

"Nothing that would compel her to have sex, or even to keep the baby if she did get pregnant. Just something to guarantee that if she did suffer a...lack of judgment...that conditions were right to ensure conception," Blaze said. "It wasn't ****, exactly. Some people would say it's a blessing."

Lois snorted. "Angie. Did this charm make her so horny that she'd let someone mount her without a condom? Or maybe forget that she's not on birth control?"

The demon smiled and massaged the back of her wife's neck. "Maaaaybe."

The reporter chuckled. "You're so bad, sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Blaze said. "I was bad all the time, before I met you."

"Hmm. Don't I know it." The reporter closed her eyes. The demon could see how tired her wife was. Absolutely exhausted bringing their children into the world.

"Angie?"

"Yes, sweetmeat?"

"I want to taste your dick."

Blaze sighed. She was far too lucky.

"You know you don't have to. You're exhausted. Why don't you get some sleep, and when you heal a bit..."

"Love?" Lois said, her eyes opened to slits. "When I tell you to fuck my face, the only thing I want to hear is 'Yes ma'am, how far do you want my cock down your throat?'"

Blaze smiled. Not her Mona Lisa smile, but a real smile. The one only Lois could bring to her face.

"How far do you want it?"

"I want to feel those big babymaking balls on my chin," Lois said...and yawned. Before she could stop, the demonic dickgirl was feeding her crimson cock into the gaping maw.

Angelica Blaze-Lane didn't know what tomorrow would be like, or the day after. Yet as her balls slapped against the chin of the most beautiful new mother in the world, the demon knew that this was a new chapter in her life. Demon, Wife, Suicide Squadder...and now, Mother.

She couldn't wait to see what was coming next.