Epilogue: Blaze's Suicide Squad: Eighth Mission

"...and I found Ivy on the couch, eating those little plant fertilizer sticks and watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," Harley said. Her baseball bat caught one of the ninjas right between the legs, and there was a satisfying crack.

"Pregnant women get cravings," Rick Flagg said. "I mean, Katana, she's started sending me out at three in the morning for sardines and feta cheese."

There was a burst of automatic fire. A half-dozen ninjas collapsed...but there were more. Young white men in black pajamas, foot-long erections bared as they sought to bring the intruders down with the sheer weight of numbers.

"You can't fight the Cock!" They yelled.

"Dammit," Rick said. "Where is Blaze?"

Twenty-Four Hours Earlier

Amanda Waller looked tired. The heavyset black woman's eyes were baggier than usual. She surveyed the team without enthusiasm.

"A fraction of the Guild of Assassins has broken off and set up operations in Newark, New Jersey," she said. Even her voice was tired. "They call themselves 'The Cock.'"

"I cannot have heard that correctly," Deadshot said.

"You did, unfortunately," Waller flicked at her tablet, and photos appeared on the screen. "They're passing themselves off as ninjas and recruiting from the local population of disaffected incels, men's rights activists, and frat boys. Preaching male superiority and mystical penis-based martial arts. I wish I was kidding about that last part, but apparently it works. According to our sources, the most skilled initiates can channel their chi to make their penises literally as hard as steel."

"Oh, gross," Harley said as the next slide slid into frame. It was a dead man, a hole having been **** into the center of his skull.

"I don't understand," Captain Boomerang said. "If you're going to skull-fuck someone, why not go through the eye?"

Everyone in the room turned and looked at him. "What?"

"Regardless. Local authorities have asked us to nip this in the bud." Waller said. "Any questions?"

"Yes," Katana asked. "Where is Blaze?"

Now

"Mrs. Lane, your wife is fine. She's not in labor yet. They're just Braxton-Hicks contractions. Those are much more common with twins, and you might expect more of them over the next few weeks," the doctor said with a smile. "Both of the babies look like they're doing fine, and if you're lucky, they might go the full forty weeks. However, I'd like to ask you to come in again every week, just so that we can check. If there are any problems, we might have to induce labor...or deliver by Caesarian."

Angelica Blaze-Lane squeezed her wife's hand. "Thank you, doctor. This is a first for both of us, so I might be a bit...anxious."

"Perfectly understandable," the doctor assured her.

They took their time exiting the hospital. Back at home, something in the vicinity of Blaze's ass buzzed.

"Babe?" Lois asked. "Is that your smartphone?"

"Yeah, I put it on vibrate."

"Might be work."

"Right," Blaze said and pulled it out. "Oh, it's Harley. I wonder what she's up to."

"You were fools to think you could contend with the power of the Cock!"

Cock ninjas held Harley Quinn, Rick Flagg, Katana, and Deadshot on their knees. The leader, a silver-haired Asian man whose prodigious dick hung down to his knees, strode in front of them.

"Costumed fools. You will serve as an example to our enemies. They will learn to fear our power. You pathetic women will die on our rigid members...but you men...you will join us in our crusade! You will come to understand the true power of the Cock!"

"No homo," Flagg said.

"Not that I haven't seen one up close before," Deadshot said. "But how do you expect to do that?"

"Fool! Ours is the secret of cocknosis!"

The elder took up a horse stance before Deadshot, legs bent and set wide. As if on command, the elder's cock began to swell and rise. The ninja's face was a placid sea of calm, but his gaze was focused inward, all of his internal power being channeled into his oversized genitalia.

"You will see...everyone will see...the age of Yoni is cumming! Soon, all will acknowledge the majesty and supremacy of the Cock!"

Acolytes were now pressing their smaller dicks against Harley and Katana's foreheads, their hands clamped tight as they prepared to thrust their steely schlongs straight through their skulls. The tips of the penises began to glow.

"You know," the clown princess of crime said. "I really never thought I'd die this way. Honestly, I just never saw it happening."

A crimson hand reached from between the elder's legs and grabbed his shaft. It was so thick, her fingers couldn't quite close around it...but when she sank her talons into his flesh, he screamed.

"Wow, length and girth," Blaze said. "I'm impressed."

There was a sound like a steel beam snapping, and a tree being torn by the roots during a hurricane. The elder did not have time to scream. His life's blood poured out in the gaping wound between his legs, eyes already glassy as his knees hit the floor.

"Now, " Blaze said as she surveyed the rest of the ninjas. "Who wants daddy's belt?"

After

Katana rubbed her stomach irritably. "I want a beer."

"Honey, we've talked about this." Flagg said. "Pregnant. No ****."

"I don't care. I want a beer. I want to forget that ever happened."

"What if I treated you to sushi? There has to be some good sushi place in Newark, right?"

"I'm not gay," Deadshot said. "I'm like a 2 on the Kinsey scale. You know how lonely it gets in prison?"

"Dude, it's okay," Harley gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Trust me, I get it. The shit that Ivy and I used to get up to in the showers in Arkham Asylum..."

Blaze took a sip of her beer. It was good to have friends. Then her brow furrowed between her horns.

"Hey. Didn't you say Captain Boomerang was with you?"

Back in the Former Headquarters of the Now-Defunct Cock

Captain Boomerang awoke dangling over a pit. He wasn't sure where his pants were. Instinctively, he tested the ropes, but whoever had tied him up had known what they were doing. The villain shook his head to clear it. There was a painful lump on the back of his skull where somebody or something had hit him. The last thing he could remember was someone that looked like a male porn star had wandered off of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles XXX Parody set had tried to club him with his dick.

The Captain looked around, rotating slowly. There might be enough give in the rope to start himself swinging. He looked down at where he would land.

A forest of steel dildos stared back up at him.

"Somebody," he said, and raised his voice. "Help?"

After After

Lois Lane was on her side. She was sleeping near the middle of the bed these days. Had to, with this huge belly. Sleeping on her stomach or back was out of the question. Her hand caressed the stomach that stuck out in front of her like a full-sized watermelon. Unable to believe it was all her.

Thirty-six weeks, she thought. Home stretch. I can't believe I'm going to be a mom.

Angie slid in behind her. Lois smiled as she smelled the familiar scent of sweat, beer, cordite. The Suicide Squad always celebrated after a successful mission.

"Everyone survive?" Lois asked.

"Hmm-hmm," Blaze slid her hand between the reporter's thighs, and Lois obediently lifted her right leg to give her wife access to her cunt. The demonic dickgirl slipped in, and Lois let out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Honey," Blaze slurred. "I'm home."