He's connecting the dots

“No. That’s fine”, I grabbed into her purse, rudely taking all the cash inside.

But she offered me the money, so is it really rude take it? No, probably not. But I also grabbed her boob hastily rubbing over her nipple. And that, that was rude. That wasn’t a normal thing to do. Why am I acting so strange today? And why is everyone else acting even stranger?!

“Oh good. I wouldn’t want to underpay you.”, she looks at me a smile on her face. But when she sees the frown on mine, her smile falters. “Don’t look so grim, I can’t blame you for it.”

Oh, finally some sanity! She’ll forgive me for my immature touching and-

“I know the feeling when that sweet tooth acts up and everything around yourself starts looking like tasty treats. But if you can stomach it for that long, there is a great ice cream store on the other side of town!”

Ok, no sanity in sight.

“It’s really a relief that you are also here for the sugar rush. I always see your friends over there lurking at me like some perverts. I mean, boys will be boys, but I’m glad I just get ogled at lunch by two instead of three boys. Could you tell them to tone it down a bit? That can be really uncomfortable, you know?”

Of course. She is a fricking ninja, of course she realizes we only eat here to stare at her net-boobs. Even for normal women that must have been pretty obvious, let alone for one with special senses. BUT WHY DOESN’T SHE REALIZE I NEARLY HONKED HER GAZONK? Sorry. I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Sure, I’ll tell those rascals”, while saying that my own eyes slowly wandered downwards from her face.

“Thanks”, she gulped down the last bite, stood up and jumped on the nearest building.

Gone was the kunoichi, gone were the net-boobs. But my goosebumps remained and maybe, just maybe I peed myself a little. Only one drop! Maybe two. In my defense, Net-boobs is scary as hell! Or she used to be, before she turned oblivious today. Anyway, I had no desire to have Aguri and Daichi laugh at me for being rightfully scared and my body acting accordingly. So before getting to the two of them and boasting about grabbing a handful of net-boobs, I needed to get inside and change out of my boxers first.

Turning my head to tell the others, that I was- THOSE TWO AREN’T EVEN LOOKING? AGAIN?! I really need to get myself some new friends…

A little grumpy I went inside and straight into the bathroom. Pants down, boxers down. I threw the boxers into the bin next to the door. While washing my hands, I hear a toilet flush behind me. My pants are still on the ground and my junk swings free, but who cares what the guy behind me thinks? It will be awkward for a moment, he’ll wash his hands and be on his way. In a way HE is the awkward one. Who voluntarily does number two in a public restaurant? Or sit down to pee? Just use the urinal man.

With that thought I look around me for the first time. And there are no urinals.

No urinals.

This was not the men’s bathroom.

My eyes clenched shut and for a moment I tried to wish myself away. Which didn’t work. And behind me the doorknob turned, followed by the clacking of heels. But surprisingly not a scream. My eyes cautiously opened again and through the mirror looked into the face of an attractive blond girl. She only gives me a *huff* when she notices me staring and goes back to freshening up and retouching her makeup.

She is wearing a kind of violet get-up and is giving off some serious ice-queen vibes. The type of vibes you only get from ninja-chicks. It’s not like normal girls would react nicer in this situation, on the contrary. The normal reaction would be to yell at me and throw me out of the bathroom. But somehow her rarely reacting to me at all stung on another level. And that she didn’t seem impressed by my dick also didn’t help my mood.

“The weather is nice today, isn’t it?”, oh please shoot me.

She did another *huff*, rolled her eyes and left. She didn’t even answer me. Arrogant bitch.

“Dude, you really even tweaked her nipple?”, Daichi was audibly proud of me.

“Cut it, he didn’t say that! He barely touched her boob, let alone her nipple...”, Aguri was audibly envious of me. I didn’t only bath in his anger that I just won another bet and another batch of his hard earned money, but also in beating him at touching his unattainable kunoichi-crush.

“A boob is a boob, a bet is a bet and I, my friends, am the stud of our group”, with a swing of both my arms I pulled the cash on the table towards me. It wasn’t really enough money to make the gesture look cool, but it sure felt cool.

“The stud of our group? You’re so full of shit Nijito. You touched a clothed ass and a clothed breast, so what? That doesn’t seem so special for you. And didn’t you just tell us that when you took a leak in the ladies room, that girl basically scoffed at your dick? I guess compared to those ninja-studs you don’t bring the necessary tools, eh?”, now Aguri was shooting low. We had this talk a dozen times and had wildly different opinions.

“Again Aguri? I told you a thousand times: The muscleheads, the body builders, all those super tough ninja guys? They are normally just compensating for secretly having little peckers.”

Daichi was shaking his head. While Aguri thought ninjas were hung like horses and I was certain people that spend so much time fine-tuning their bodies must at least have one flaw, Daichi stood for a healthy middle ground.

“Guys, let’s not talk about ninja-dicks. Not again. I’d much rather talk about some bouncy dick-huggers! Have I already told you, what I saw this morning on my way through town?”

“Well, with that introduction you probably passed by the Hyūga compou-“

“I passed by the Hyūga compound! And skipping out came none other than Hidden-Jugs herself. How I’d love to put my face- no, my whole head, between her tits. If only she showed some cleavage for once. It should be a crime to hide those mighty mammaries behind any kind of clothing”, his face turned sour for a second and then returned to his starting glee,” but all the clothing in the world couldn’t stop the show I was getting!”

Aguri and I were leaning over the table towards him, enraptured in our own visions of the hidden jugs. In my bold imagination they even became a pair of revealed jugs.

“Just picture it. Two fleshy orbs, round and full like two oversized drops of live-spending water. Fleshy spheres filled to the brink with milk an-“

“Milk? Damn Daichi, you ruined it for me with your creepy lactation fetish”, Aguri flew back in his chair.

“And drops of water filled with milk? Daichi you have to put some work in your descriptions. Paint a picture with words, but make some sense man”, I also returned to a laid back position and shook my head.

“You guys are picky bastards! Don’t ruin this for me. Anyway. I was walking about, minding my business and stumbled on Hidden-Jugs.”

“More like stalked her”, Aguri whispered to me.

“She was skipping through the street, talking to herself about some date, and I swear on my life, every other step she threw her head back and her bust into the air! She was so happy she didn’t even notice me following her for a couple of blocks.”

“You followed Hidden-Jugs through town?”, I had to interrupt him. He actually looked a little guilty at that point.

“No!... well… maybe a little. But not really. I had to go in that direction anyway. Or at least close to it. Don’t give me such a hard time”, he avoided my gaze and Aguri rubbed his neck. He probably did the same thing in the past.

In all honesty, I followed a swaying ass, one or two times myself. Seems we are a pack of perverts after all.

We talked some more about this and that, non-perverted things included, and went our separate ways. But I didn’t go straight home, I just walked through town aimlessly. Too much had happened today and I needed some time to think it through.

I saw more action today than in a long time and that from enticingly strong and dangerous kunoichi none the less. That was great. Both of them reacted weird as hell. That was bad. What came over them? Why were they acting so out of place? I had this nagging feeling, I was overlooking something. Something big. But what?

Over my head I heard the telltale sound of ninjas rushing from rooftop to rooftop. I was still a little annoyed by that. When the ninja lady, whose name I really should have asked for, took her leave from the dango shop she made the same sound by jumping up on the nearest building. That was so unnecessary. From the talk with the other I knew she lived very close by. No need to flex your ninja skills, just walk there like a normal person.

“It’s normal to use the most ~appropriate~ form of movement. It’s not appropriate to-“, during my little rant the last of the line of shadows over me dropped to the ground.

On pure instinct I ran over to her before she could get anywhere.

“Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk? My names Nijito, by the way.”

Before me stood a lithe young woman with her hair in twin-buns. Although she was obviously a ninja, she radiated an approachable aura.

“Sure, my name’s Tenten and I’m actually done for the day. So, what do you need?”, her tone was friendly, with a hint of playfulness.

“Well, I was wondering why you just landed here.”

“Why I landed? What do you mean?”, this seemed to confuse her, but I knew I was onto something here.

“You were jumping from building to building and then suddenly you come down here. Why is that?”

“Oh, now that you say it…. I guess I just thought I wanted to ~walk~ home. It’s not that far from the Hokage Tower to my place. Tell me, is this some kind of pick-up line? Are you coming on to me?”, I had a tough time deciding if she was joking around or if I really seemed so needy. Maybe I’m lucky and she meant it in a hopeful way? Maybe she does want me to ask her out? She wasn’t as bodacious as other girls around town, but she was definitely cute. I could see myself-

“O-K. I guess I’ll leave you to it then, or?”

Wait a second, I stopped her for a reason!

“No, please wait a second. So on your way through town you suddenly made the choice to walk?”

“Yes”

“But you started the way jumping?”

“Yeees”, she drew it out like she was talking to a child. Or a stupid person.

“And that doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“It’s just my normal way home. I’m not sure why I was taking the rooftops at first, that doesn’t fit for such a short way, does it?”

“Woah, woah, woah. What did you say about your way home?”

“That it was just my normal way home?”

“Your ~normal~ way home?”

“Yeeeeees”, she must have thought me to be crazy at this point.

And I very well might be, but something about this felt wrong. Or right, depending on which way you look at it. Since today phrases including “normal” have come up abnormally often. I should investigate this.