Tedious tasks

John followed Hemet, leaving the cart at the edge of the encampment, to a small canvas tent. The thing didn't seem all that special and John was sure it would be cramped inside... if it wasn't that he already suspected something.

Upon entering, his suspicion was proven correct, but even so, he couldn't be prepared for the sight. A mead hall greeted John. The entire thing was much bigger than the outside, for starters. The walls reached up around fifteen feet and there were wooden beams that framed the walls with archways between them. The roof was also held up by wooden framing and had several large wooden chandeliers with carved wings hanging from them to provide light for the two long tables that stretched down the room, each able to seat at least a hundred men.

John followed Hemet down the centre of the two long tables. He noticed several things as they walked: One, the room wasn't empty, there were several small groups of dwarves either drinking or eating, though they all seemed to quieten down and watch as he walked past. Two, there were several rooms separated off by curtains, one that was opened let John see that they were basic bedrooms, with a bed, side table and a wardrobe. Three, there were lots of trophies adorning the walls, which curiously stopped at the end of the large tables.

At the farside of the hall was another table, this one round with space for around sixteen people. The chairs around it were much nicer than the benches at the long tables, having padded cushions matching the colour of the tent. Around it sat eight dwarves and on top was a large haunch that all of them seemed to be picking clean.

As Hemet approached they all stopped and made themselves presentable by wiping their mouths and taking a drink to wash down their food. "Another successful hunt, eh? Make sure ya take a little time relaxin' this time before heading out again, yer gonna wear yaselves out," Hemet laughed.

"Aye, hunt was successful, put up a good fight and we might be takin' a small break. I have to fix problems my lad has caused again but hopefully all that will be resolved soon enough and we can get back out there," a gruff muscular redheaded dwarf said before taking another drink from his mug.

"Again? Yer wee lad is startin' to make it a habit, he's going to make problems with the wrong people one o' these days," Hemet grunted, before turning to John with a smile. "Sorry laddie, this' Erke Forgeson, leader of this wee group, some o' the finest hunters in the guild."

John turned to them. "It's nice to meet you, I'm John."

"Aye, don't think there's a dwarf in or on the mountain who hasnae heard the news of ya," Erke laughed. "Pleasure to meet you, lad. Hope you aren't being pushed too hard; I know Hemet and he likes to make things difficult at times."

John laughed awkwardly. "Uh, it wasn't too bad. Though it would have probably been easier to find mushrooms if I could use my powers."

The entire table went silent, they looked at John then to Hemet before looking back to John and erupting in laughter. "Aye, sounds about right," one of them said between laughing.

"Come, lad. We aren't 'ere for chit chat," Hemet said smiling as he led John past a wooden throne which sat on a raised platform and through an archway.

Inside the next room was what John would probably describe as a war room. Bookshelves and weapon racks encircled the room, and in the centre was a table much like the one they'd just talked to the hunting group at, only larger, and this one had a 3D map on it, showing mountains and forests. Hemet waved his hand and the map vanished leaving only a clear table. "Right, lad, let's take a look at what ya found," Hemet said sitting on one of the chairs.

"Oh, shit, I left the cart outside, I'll go get it," John said walking back towards the archway.

"No need, son," Hemet called. John turned around to see the table covered in the mushrooms he'd collected. "A nice haul. Good for edibility too, ya only picked two poisonous ones. Any chance ya can identify which ones?"

John was sure he knew, which brought a smirk on his face. He walked over to the table picking up the toadstool and the strange glowing one. "These two," he said confidently. "This one is a toadstool, and I'm not sure what the other one is."

"Ay, ya got the toadstool, and the other is named a lampshade mushroom... But they aren't poisonous. Inedible, yes, but that's due to their bitterness. No, lad, the other poisonous mushroom you picked was this one," he said as he picked up one of the morel mushrooms.

"But that's a morel? You said those were safe," John argued.

"Ay, morels are safe... This isnae a morel, it's a false morel, kinda similar in appearance but if you look at it, it isn't all that porous and looks more like a shrivelled prune. Just an example of why ya shouldn't rely on mushrooms if ya can help it," Hemet said as he placed the false morel on the table. He moved over to the pancake ones. "A see ya found some birch trees, those are very good fer many things, birch polypore just bein' one of em. They're not poisonous and easy to identify, kinda like the oysters ya brought.

"Okay, so finding oyster or birch polypores are my best bet if I'm ever stranded for some reason?" John asked.

"Ay, but ya not gonna always be that lucky." Hemet picked up one of the spiky mushrooms next. "These are safe to eat too. Hedgehog mushrooms, they can easily be mistaken for a sarcodon scabrosus though which some see as poisonous; many people eat them dried or as pepper though, so if ya want to eat em, A'd recommend drying em out first.

Hemet placed that one back onto the table before picking up the foamy coral like mushroom John had found. "This is chicken of the woods, and could be confused with dryad’s saddle or blackening polypore, but both of those are edible too so this would be a safe bet, and its namesake is quite accurate. Finally about that lampshade mushroom ya brought, why don't ya try castin' an Observe at it.

John was about to argue that he couldn't, but if a god could take his powers away, they could easily bring them back just as quickly. Looking at the softly glowing mushroom, he cast Observe

Lampshade Mushroom

Natural enchantment: Darkvision
A mushroom most commonly found in the mouths of caves but also inside the dark base of trees or hollowed-out logs.
They grow in groups of equal numbers, between two to eight.
They are commonly seen as inedible due to their bitterness.
Darkvision: When dried completely and turned into a powder, two tablespoons of this make a tea which converts your vision allowing you to see in complete darkness. Your vision becomes black and white. Sunlight causes disorientation and migraines.

"Oh shit," John exclaimed, looking at Hemet for some kind of explanation.

"Aye, it's magical flora. A'm sure ya could point it out as magic if ya was asked ahead of time, but not all magic things look magical. And their magical nature isn't always obtainable easily, like the tea ya make with the mushrooms," Hemet explained. "So, lad, what do ya take from this first lesson?"

John looked over all the mushrooms as he thought. "It's probably best not to eat mushrooms unless I can definitely identify them especially because some can easily be mistaken and that sometimes there are mushrooms or plants that could be magical out in the world? I'm also pretty certain I could probably identify the oyster, morel, the birch ones and chicken of the woods mushrooms pretty safely, but I think I'd either rely on Observe to make sure I was right or not eat them just in case."

"Not bad lessons to take from the quest A set. On to the next lesson, testing to make sure plants are safe to eat," Hemet said.

For the next hour or so, John listened carefully to what Hemet had to say. It wasn’t exactly easy but it did seem to be getting easier to understand his thick accent. During this time Hemet explained something called ‘The Universal Edibility Test’ which would make it so that if he was out in an unfamiliar land and had no other way to get food, he’d be able to test anything he found.

There were six parts to the test, and it mostly seemed to be waiting around to see if you had bad reactions to what you were testing; nonetheless John made note of everything Hemet said.

At some point in, John had a realisation, “Oh fuck, where the hell is that little green thing? Did it just go back wherever it came from?”

Hemet laughed loudly. “Cannae get anything past ya. Dunnae worry, the wee sprout has been enjoyin’ a platter of fruit while we’ve been busy.”

John sighed. “Oh right, thanks, and sorry. Don’t know why it slipped my mind or why I just remembered it.”

“The tent can be a lot to take in, dunnae worry about it. Now let’s talk about birch trees, the things are a forager’s haven. Might as well start with fungus. As you already know Birch polypore grows on birch trees and it has antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties which could prove useful. Something you may not have noticed though is chaga, it looks like a burnt growth on the tree which is full of medical properties, I recommend looking it up as explaining what it can be used for would take a while.

“Next ya can make a tea which relieves pain from leaves, young living twigs and catkins, catkins look kinda like caterpillars and are full of birch pollen. You can also get about a jar’s worth of those things and infuse oil with ‘em. Tapping is another good thing for birch. Birch syrup is very delicious and can easily be tapped; once upon a time, A did exactly that by usin’ a sharp rock to drill into the trunk and a hollowed-out bone as a tap spout,” Hemet laughed before continuing, “and finally, you might be surprised to hear this, but you can actually make flour from the inner bark of the tree; A’ve had to resort to using that to make bread more than a few times while out on a hunt. All ya have to do is dry it out then grind it into powder then mix it with water and bake it by a fire, not the best but it works in a pinch.”

John didn’t really find any of this particularly interesting. Sure, it was useful knowledge but he could probably download a survival app on his phone to get all of this information. Nonetheless, he continued listening and trying to retain the knowledge.

Eventually, after Hemet had finished explaining survival tips, John found himself in the forest again. He’d been sent out to collect wood, clay, long grass and rocks.

“God damn, this is even more tedious than looking for mushrooms,” John complained.

“Qwest.” His travel companion nodded. At least John had a name for the thing now, Hemet had taken to calling it Sprout and it seemed to react positively to the name.

John started with clay. Hemet had given him a tip to dig close to a river, and though he didn’t know where one was, Sprout seemed excited and ran off in a direction that John followed. Luckily he was led to a small river. “Oh, good job, Sprout, I should give you a reward for completing your little quest,” John chuckled.

“Qwest!” Sprout yelled before running away, shortly returning. It motioned for John to come down and then handed him three acorns and a leaf.

“Uh, thanks?” he said as he took the forest debris. Soon John was digging, and lucky for him, he reached clay fast. He used his hands to shovel it into the cart and managed to fill the base of it.

John quickly realised that the river was actually a treasure trove for what he was tasked to bring. There was long grass close by and plenty of rocks, but even though there were branches, he thought it would probably be easier finding them elsewhere as most of the ones around the river were soaked and heavy.

He quickly stacked his cart and managed to find dry branches on the forest floor. Frustrated, John trudged back to the encampment with his haul.

“Ah, lad, yer back!” Hemet greeted. “And A see ya brought all the materials A asked of ya.”

John huffed. “Yep, got everything, now what?”

Hemet raised an eyebrow. “A may be fond of ya, lad, but ya best watch yer tone with me, A am still a god after all!” he warned. “Anyway, don’t worry about what it’s for. Ya are done for the day. Ya have ya reward, go get some rest. But don’t ya forget to come back for more trainin’. A’m not done with ya yet, lad, and if A have to come fetch ya maself, yer tasks will be harder and yer rewards’ll diminish.”

Before John could say anything, Hemet waved his hand and John felt like he fell an inch or two onto the carpeted floor of his room. He let out an exasperated sigh and looked at the time. Seeing that it was almost 1 am, he quickly took a shower before crawling under the covers and drifting off to sleep.

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