The Devil Himself

You recognize the devil from your odd dream that morning. Suddenly, your stomach sinks. You really haven't given much thought to where your absolute power came from or what it might cost.

"You're watching television?" the devil asks in disgust. "I spend half an eternity to set it up for you to have absolute power over the whole fucking universe for 24 hours and you use it to watch television?"

"24 hours!" you gasp. "You...in the dream...you never said anything about 24 hours!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not supposed to say anything about it now, dumbass!" the devil sneers. "The bet I made with the G-man said that any random schmuck could make a better world than He had in 24 hours if the schmuck had absolute power. I'm not supposed to have any contact with you at all, but after all these eons the Big Guy knows I'm going to cheat. Besides, he can't do anything about it right now, since He doesn't have absolute power, you do! And you will for a few more hours, so you fucking well better do something besides make all the women on earth slightly skanky! I'd think you'd at least have sodomized your mom by now!"

"But...but...I need more time!" you say, starting to panic.

"Well, of course you can have all the time you want," the devil says, then a shocked look comes across his face. "Hold on one fucking minute!"

But it has already dawned on you that this game the devil and god are playing with you has a loophole that neither of them counted on. As the panicking devil begins to fade, you tell him to stop. He does.

"You want me to have power over you," you tell him. "You think it's great that I'm your new lord and master!"

"Oh yes!" the extant demon exclaims with adoration in his fiery eyes. "You are My Lord and Master! Blessed Be Your Name!"

You chuckle. The devil grins, delighted that you're happy with him. Does this mean you have power over heaven and hell as well as earth? The devil had said that god had given up his power for their bet. You had better find out.

But first, what to do with the devil.