No, Don't stop yelling I'll get the door.

Climbing out from under the table you went to go answer the door. Cursing to yourself if this intrusion made you miss bingo. Swinging the door open, you felt a ton of bricks hit your chest seeing the visitor.

It was her.

The devil woman from the banquet.

Mouth agape you eyed her up and down to be sure it was her.

She had changed from the black lace dress into a pair of black leather pants and a chocolate-brown motorcycle jacket.

Gone was the Celtic knot necklace replaced by a slew of sterling silver chains one of which was adorned with an owl with emerald eyes.

Her black frizzy hair was no longer in a bun instead she wore it down letting it sit naturally at her shoulders. The strands were still wet and even from a few feet away smelled faintly of rose oil and pomegranates.

But the biggest change was her expression.

No sinister smirk.

No predatory glare.

Instead she grinned widely at you with a loving glare not dissimilar to one you’d expect from Lilly.

Before you could slam the door or break out the crucifix, she tugged you into a hug.

Shivering you felt something jab you in the stomach, looking down expecting to see a knife or goat horn you were shocked to see a plate of desserts on a ceramic plate decorated with dory and nemo.

Needless to say at this point your brain was properly frazzled and you could barely formulate a coherent sentence when Lilly asked you who was at the door.

As her words registered, you were sideswiped by a banshee-like scream from Lilly. Instantly you found yourself sandwiched in another hug between yourself, Lilly and the devil woman.

Then from the corner you saw Brie join the fray.

CPU overload and thermal throttling imminent you blurted out

“Who the hell is this woman!?”

The trio burst out into “The View” levels of cackling at your question.

Clearly you had walked into the twilight zone. Content to accept the insanity that was now your life you pulled yourself from the hug to go find the nearest shotgun and promptly blow your brains out.

Still laughing Brie grabbed your wrist.

“Honey this is Eva.”

“Uh…who?”

“C’mon baby kangaroo you don’t remember Eva she was at your own birth.”

Yup your brain was fried and you were neck-deep in the twilight zone.

The devil woman evidently named Eva piped up next

“Oh Brie, I don’t blame the poor boy he hasn’t seen me since he was this tall.”

Eva gestured to her knee.

Still in the processing of rebooting, the women dragged you back to the dinner table as they chattered away oblivious to the circuit damage done to your brain.

“So how are the girls?” Lilly asked

“Excellent Alexandra is starting her own clothing line. In fact she just opened a boutique in town.”

Lilly gasped “Oh my god no I remember when she used to play dress-up with Janae now she’s opening a boutique.” Tears welled up in mom’s eyes. “You have to let me do a photoshoot for the girl I still know plenty of people in that arena and at the very least it’ll give her store an air of clout.”

“Lilly you sweetheart, I’m sure Lexy would love that.”

“And what about Elizabeth? She has to be about Joseph’s age now.” Brie chimed in

“Yes, she is starting at Cockswane in a few days”

“You sneaky bird I thought I saw you at the banquet why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was going to, but then all that awful stuff with poor Joseph happened.”

Clicking back to full system operation you heard Eva’s statement and was deathly tempted to shout to the hills about her involvement in that “awful stuff” but stopped as Brie clenched your arm still reeling from incident.

“Thankfully he is alright now” She responded kissing your cheek.

“I’m glad, the moment I heard it was him I knew I had to stop by. Speaking of which I brought some of my homemade creampuffs. I remember how much he loved them as a child.”

Eva smiled undoing the saran wrap on the Finding Nemo plate.

“Please forgive the plate, we’re still unpacking and it was the only one I could find.”

“Nonsense, no shame here” Lilly grinned

“Besides this lunk still spends hours every Saturday watching cartoons” Brie added with a playful shove.

You watched nervously as your moms both grabbed one of the treats.

Your brain howled for you to slap them away. There was no way you were letting Eva poison your moms.

But before you could act, Lilly cut in

“Honey aren’t you going to try one?”

Sheepishly you looked at the creampuffs wondering how one even poisons pastries (would you sprinkle it on top or would you need to work it into the batter…perhaps replace the filling.)

“I can’t its way too early for sweets…in fact I think you guys should abstain too. You always said sweets in the morning were bad for your teeth.”

Brie rolled her at your goody-two shoes routine.

“Lilly I blame you for this, and Joseph as your mother I hereby grant you permission to have dessert at breakfast. Gods know it never stopped you before” she muttered placing a creampuff in your hand.

Eva watched you, her lake blue eyes betraying no emotion, no hint of intention. Unnerved, you suspiciously turned the treat in your hand looking for something obvious like a giant skull and crossbones.

“Seriously baby roo just eat it!” Brie groaned

“No, Brie I understand your child’s apprehension. He is a good boy.”

Eva smiled at you then rounded the counter to be by your side.

“He does not wish to break mama’s rules. Unlike my girls who would ravenously devour such treats without a second thought.”

You could hear the motherly dotting in her voice. It strangely comforted you to see a display of emotion of Eva.

“But sometimes we all must be a little naughty. I used this trick all the time when he was little.”

Removing the creampuff from your hand she gingerly brought it to your mouth. Even though she stood a head shorter than you in that moment you felt infinitesimally small.

“Open” She beckoned in a voice equal parts stern and seductive.

Her voice triggering some repressed Pavlovian response you did as she instructed.

Chewing on the creampuff you felt a warmth fill you. The same warmth as last night. But instead of overwhelming you it embraced you. A warm hug. You instantly recalled having Eva’s creampuffs before.

A perpetual bribe, she used to use them to get you to obey her as a child.

The promise alone enough to get you to yield to her demands.

Although she would also sneak them to you in your room after getting in trouble with Brie or Lilly.

“Our little secret” she would tell you with a finger raised to her lips.

Then she would tussle your hair.

Your memory merged with reality feeling her slender fingers glide through your hair. The same smile from your memory spread across her face. One of care, of comforting.

Shit. Once the warmth faded you were even more confused.

Everything Eva said had been true. But then what was last night about. Why would she do what she did to you? None of it made any sense. You wanted answers to questions you could never ask around Lilly or Brie.

“It was the only way he’d eat his veggies. It seems my programming has stuck around.”

Eva and your moms laughed.

Breaking your trance. You looked at them, they were thick as thieves.

She really was an old friend or an exceptionally talented actress.